Assuming an invitation

I gotta wonder how this is an issue? Like you havent seen each other but once, do you still keep in contact somehow? How is she conveying that she thinks she is invited?


It seems like the easiest option is to not send her an invitation. If she asks, just tell her that you thought it would be awkward with the ex in the party.

Unfortunately, even though you guys may still be friends his groomsman might be upset with her still being invited. It’s been since May and you guys are not too close anymore. If you and her were not close friends before they were a couple then I wouldn’t invite her because she may try to bring a plus one and hurt him.

I might have an unpopular opinion. If you already insinuated she was going to be invited, the right thing is to still invite her. Give her the option to attend or not. People can set aside their differences for a day to celebrate your wedding!

So, this basically happened to me. When my ex and I were together, we received a save the date from a couple who were on the outer edge of our friend group (not close friends, but would see each other at major holiday/group parties). When we broke up, the friend group pretty much stayed with him and I think I saw the couple maybe once between the breakup and their wedding, which took place about 10 months after the breakup. My ex and I were both still invited to the wedding. We were sat at different tables but mingled at cocktail hour and with the mutual friends, who were also at the wedding, on the dance floor. It was a beautiful wedding and we both acted like adults. I say to still extend the invitation to both (and maybe give them plus ones each to help as buffers if you’re concerned?) and expect that they’ll both either be cordial or will just stay away from one another.

Lol this happened to me - except I was the ex girlfriend and my ex boyfriend was the best man. I'm surprised she still wants to go; I kindly declined the invitation. Don't feel any pressure to invite her. It doesn't sound like you're very close anymore (like you only had the relationship with her because of who she was dating), and you already have a legitimate excuse for not inviting her (don't want to make the groomsman feel awkward).

Breakups are awkward, but part of that process is dis-entangling your lives from each other. Her not being at the wedding is just one step in that process.

Don't let this stress you out! (easier said than done, right?)

If you do not want to invite her, you certainly don't have to, and like most people we would like to assume they're excited if they are invited and indifferent if they are not. If she does ask you directly, you can politely say that "I'm sorry but we have already solidified our guest list" and let that be the end of it. I wouldn't mention her ex or any more detail than that and change the subject.

I would probably get the groomsman’s opinion on inviting her if it were me in your shoes. If you still feel like she’s someone you want to invite regardless of his opinion, then I would say go for it as. Will there be enough people she knows for her to be comfortable and mingle? If she was just an outsider to your group of friends and only around as his BF it may be a little weird to invite her