Brittany
Just Said Yes September 2021

Assigned vs. Sitting where you want

Brittany, on September 13, 2020 at 12:01 PM

Posted in Wedding Reception 59

My SO and I are having our first disagreement! 😆 He’s adamant about having assigned seating while I am against it. He wants to seat people “to keep his coworkers together” I have been to countless weddings and have Never been mandated where I’ve sat. I am just against it. I feel that people should...
My SO and I are having our first disagreement! 😆 He’s adamant about having assigned seating while I am against it. He wants to seat people “to keep his coworkers together” I have been to countless weddings and have Never been mandated where I’ve sat. I am just against it. I feel that people should sit where they want. What are your thoughts?

59 Comments

  • L
    Expert September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    If you are talking about the reception, every wedding Ive ever been to has had assigned seats. This helps to make sure that people dont have to spend the whole night sitting with people they dont know. The open seating approach will annoy a lot of people
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    It's personal preference, of course, but just look at the VAST majority of responses on this post: most people prefer it. There are no downsides to assigning tables and plenty to free-for-all seating. I would let your SO "win" this one.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Dedicated October 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    I would assign tables but you could leave seats at each table unassigned. I would absolutely hate “sit wherever you want” as a guest. It would give me anxiety. Also as the bride and groom I would be worried about guests leaving a bunch of open single seats per table and then groups or couples not getting to sit together or having to ask to switch etc.
    Example scenario: I went to a wedding for one of my close guy friends from college. It’s a big group of guys and I’m the only girl friend. They had 8 person tables (couldn’t be bigger for covid) and the group with plus 1s was 11 people. They split the group evenly into two tables next to each other. It would have sucked if we all got there 8 sat down at a table and then 3 people had to sit apart from the group. I thought the way they did it was great and we all mingled anyways but they were very thoughtful in their table assignments.
    • Reply
  • Chanelly
    Savvy January 2021
    Chanelly ·
    • Flag

    I have to agree with assigning tables. It's definitely less stressful for guests. When I went to weddings with no assigned seating, I was stuck with a few others not knowing where to sit because everyone groups themselves together and start grabbing chairs from other tables. Girl, it's a mess.

    • Reply
  • Alexandra
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Alexandra ·
    • Flag
    Assign the seats and if people want to move about, let them! They will all move around to talk to eachother anyways. Don't sweat the little things! Most of the time the hubby to be doesnt get alot of say in things, they typically don't make many demands so i would just let him have this one. Bc honestly people are going to have fun around the ppl they want to be around anyways!
    • Reply
  • Kia
    Devoted September 2021
    Kia ·
    • Flag
    So, I went to my first wedding where seating wasn’t assigned which was fine for us because we sat in the corner by the bar (lol). BUT the bride came over to me and was venting about how the MOG had no where to sit because the first four tables by the head table were filled with their high school friends. She felt it was rude to ask their friends to move but she didn’t want her new mom to have to sit across the hall. So I would say go ahead and make that seating chart so people aren’t complaining that someone “stole” their seat.
    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated March 2022
    Shannon ·
    • Flag
    I think assigned tables is less stressful for the guests
    • Reply
  • KiwiDerbyBride
    VIP May 2015
    KiwiDerbyBride ·
    • Flag

    If you don’t assign tables at the very least, you’ll need 15-20% extra seating. This of course adds extra costs - place settings, centrepieces, linens, the actual tables and chairs. People won’t divide neatly into table-sized groups; families or couples will be split up and grandma, who can’t walk very fast, will wind up sitting at the back because she didn’t get into the room in time to get a seat near the front. We didn’t assign seats but we assigned tables and it worked perfectly.

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Expert September 2020
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    Seems like the jury has spoken, but I also thought of a good analogy. It's like the time before reserved movie seating on an opening weekend - if you show up with 4+ friends, you might end up scattered or having to beg and barter with people. If you buy your reserved ticket, it's efficient and straight forward.
    I'm honestly curious if the "sit where you want, it'll work out" people are also the people who set 6 alarms in the morning. 😂 That may be part of the difference.
    • Reply
  • anna
    Devoted October 2019
    anna ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I second this. I find it so chaotic and stressful when weddings don't have assigned seats. I have felt so awkward trying to figure out where to sit at receptions with no assigned seats, especially when I didn't know many other people. we spent a really long time before our wedding assigning people to tables either with people they knew, or people we knew they'd get along with well.

    • Reply
  • anna
    Devoted October 2019
    anna ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Or in the very least, have a few "reserved" tables for family/wedding party and leave the rest open seating.

    • Reply
  • Dana
    Savvy January 2021
    Dana ·
    • Flag
    I have never been to a wedding with assigned seating. They reserve tables and seats for Immediate family and bridal party members. Maybe reserve a table for his coworkers.
    • Reply
  • Ali
    Expert March 2021
    Ali ·
    • Flag
    We have our venue (they own a company called mad dash weddings where they plan for us and most of the stuff you need for a wedding is included. You still get a say though in what you want) so im not sure what they are going to do in regards to seating. We will know when we meey with them again. We both feel that people can sit where they want. Our families really haven't met so it will be nice for them to all mingle.
    • Reply
  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
    • Flag
    I think it really depends on the amount of people you have. If you don’t do assigned tables or seats you should have a few extra tables because people will naturally spread out more if they aren’t assigned (especially groups with odd numbers). I think when you have a larger guest list it’s a lot easier to have assigned tables. It helps you save time and people aren’t walking around confused trying to figure out where to seat. If you are worried about where you are sitting people you can always ask them their preferences before you make a seating chart too!
    • Reply
  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
    • Flag
    Sit*


    Sorry I type fast and always proofread after 🤦🏻‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Her video definitely made me want to do assigned tables 😂. I love her videos!
    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    Assign people to a table, not a specific seat.

    I have never been to a wedding where there wasn't at least a table assignment and wedding planners will tell you letting people sit wherever they want is always problematic. Additionally, if you are doing served meals having people in designated areas assists the servers in getting the right meal to the right person.

    • Reply
  • Teresa
    Devoted October 2020
    Teresa ·
    • Flag

    I didn't want to do a seating chart at all! I was so against it but then everyone I talked with reminded me that humans inherently do not like to sit in the seat next to someone they are unfamiliar with. I thought about the amount of RSVP's and decided to make the table chart. So much less stress than having to plan on 4 extra tables and chairs for those who felt the need to leave a seat open.

    • Reply
  • Eliamuniz
    Savvy October 2020
    Eliamuniz ·
    • Flag
    I personally think that assigned seating is the way to go. Here are MY reasons why.


    • we can seat our family closer to us •we have some stragglers who are coming and don’t know anyone there, we sit them with people we know they will get along with so they can be comfortable. •we can sit people who know each other together so they are comfortable •the last thing I want is for an 8 person table only to have 5 people at it because no one wants to fill the seats because they don’t know them OR and 8 person table has more than 8 because they want to sit with certain people.
    It’s just easier to control it in my opinion. I went to a wedding that had open seating and it was a disaster. A lot of folks were left to stand for the last reason I stated above.
    • Reply

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