Brittany
Just Said Yes September 2021

Assigned vs. Sitting where you want

Brittany, on September 13, 2020 at 12:01 PM

Posted in Wedding Reception 59

My SO and I are having our first disagreement! 😆 He’s adamant about having assigned seating while I am against it. He wants to seat people “to keep his coworkers together” I have been to countless weddings and have Never been mandated where I’ve sat. I am just against it. I feel that people should...
My SO and I are having our first disagreement! 😆 He’s adamant about having assigned seating while I am against it. He wants to seat people “to keep his coworkers together” I have been to countless weddings and have Never been mandated where I’ve sat. I am just against it. I feel that people should sit where they want. What are your thoughts?

59 Comments

  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride Online ·
    • Flag

    For the ceremony sit where they want for Reception assigned tables. I've been to a wedding where they didn't have assigned seats and it went horribly wrong . please do assigned seating

    • Reply
  • Ariel
    Savvy June 2021
    Ariel ·
    • Flag

    I suggest at least doing assigned tables. I've never been a wedding which didn't have assigned tables and to be honest I feel like it would be really awkward if there weren't. Your guests who don't really know other people there might find it awkward finding a place to sit and depending on the timeline of your reception, it might take a lot of time for your guests to figure out where they are going to sit which could eat into your reception time. This way they check the seating chart or cards and then immediately find their table and sit down!

    • Reply
  • Rachael
    Just Said Yes April 2021
    Rachael ·
    • Flag

    Assigned seating is not necessarily that bad. It just takes time to figure out who should sit where. I'm not doing assigned seating because I don't have the time to think through who should sit where and I think it is unnecessary for my wedding. However, I will be having tables solely for family, so the guests will be able to figure out where they will sit. I think it provides an excellent opportunity for them to get to know one another, make some friends/connections, and have an even better time!

    • Reply
  • Kate
    Beginner October 2020
    Kate ·
    • Flag
    If you do buffet, assign tables but no seats. We are doing played dinner and we have to assign seats....
    • Reply
  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Can you use color coded place cards and let the catering staff know what your system is with how many of each per table? If your colors are pink, sage and cream, a pink placecard for beef, sage for chicken and cream for veggie. Doesn't seem like it would be that much more difficult on either's part.
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    I am big on table arrangements! Personally I get social anxiety just thinking about the chaos that ensues in trying to find a table to sit at, at a wedding, particularly if you don’t know anyone other than the marrying couple. Having actual assigned ‘seats’ is not necessary but I think ‘assigned tables’ is a must.

    For your guests who don’t know others attending, it can be a big help having assigned tables. We have a number of people attending who won’t know anyone at our wedding besides us so we are consciously grouping all the ‘lost sheep’ with likeminded people and otherwise keeping everyone else who knows others together. Highly recommend it!

    • Reply
  • R
    Dedicated October 2021
    Ruby ·
    • Flag
    I attended two weddings without assigned seating and I was annoyed as a guest along with other guests. I was so glad to catch up with my cousins and when we went to grab seats we couldn’t find a table that would seat us all. We were split and in tables with people we didn’t know. Of course it’s nice meeting new people but made it less fun and inconvenient. I would go to talk to a cousin at one table just to get up and move because it was some else’s seat.
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    I agree with others. I am always team assigned tables. I don't think you necessarily need to assign specific seats. As others have said, people don't ever seat themselves neatly, and you also end up with the potential of grandma stuck in the back and your distant uncle Joe right upfront next to you.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    Absolutely assign seats, or at least tables. You want to help group people together so they’ll have a good time or at least be more comfortable. Plus, it’s reduces seating chaos and families/couples getting separated.
    • Reply
  • Laquita
    Expert July 2021
    Laquita ·
    • Flag

    I wasn't going to assign anything since I didn't want to tell people where to sit, but I've been staring at wedding videos (Jamie Wolfer is one) for like an hour & I'm rethinking this idea. I'd hate for families to be split up or somehow lose their seats in case they get up & someone else sits down while they're gone. Assign tables at least, I wouldn't do actual seats, but the table idea can keep groups together so I agree with your fiance for this one. I think it'll be easier on everyone.

    • Reply
  • Taran
    Expert September 2020
    Taran ·
    • Flag

    I've only ever been to one wedding with assigned seating and honestly it just seems like such waste of time. Most people end up walking around, changing tables to talk to other people, or dancing. We're letting people sit where they want because those that want to sit together will

    • Reply
  • Caitlin
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    I’ve thought about this a lot. My fiancé doesn’t care either way. They only reason I’m leaning more towards having assigned seating is because am very OCD and don’t want only one or two people at a table that can seat like 6 or people moving chairs because everyone wants to sit at the same table!
    • Reply
  • Shalonda
    Beginner November 2021
    Shalonda ·
    • Flag
    So I am like him. I want to seat people so I know they are around people they associate with. I’ve been to weddings and didn’t know anyone at my table. I also have a fear that people won’t fill up the tables correctly and now I have a couple who may not sit together. I know that’s reaching but it could happen lol. It’s definitely something to think about but maybe y’all can compromise and put numbers at the tables you want to have assigned and the other tables not assigned. Good luck!!
    • Reply
  • Krissy
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Krissy ·
    • Flag

    It's all a matter of preference, but personally I get where your fiance is coming from... Some friends/family could be a little crazy/overwhelming and I would never want them seated next to coworkers (especially if inviting a superior). Although we LOVE LOVE LOVE everyone we're inviting, we do know that they can be a bit much for some people, haha Smiley laugh Best of luck!

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    I am team assigned table! If you let everyone sit wherever they want, you will have families split up or 1-2 chairs left empty per table. This will require you to have more chair and tables than you would need if you have assigned tables. Also, if you don't assign tables, it will be a cluster at the beginning of your reception!

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Beginner October 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag
    I believe people should sit where they want as well. At my wedding, the venue will be very crowded with motorized wheelchairs (rascals, jazzys, etc.), so assigned seating will be nearly impossible!
    • Reply
  • Talia
    Super October 2020
    Talia ·
    • Flag

    We're doing assigned tables. I've always been to a wedding where it was assigned tables.

    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    The fears you have are actually pretty common with completely open seating, which is why many (especially on this board) are against it.
    • Reply
  • Molly
    VIP September 2020
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    I agree with everyone else. Assigned tables are the best way to go!

    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Brittany ·
    • Flag
    If it isn't a plated dinner, let people sit wherever they want. The coworkers will find each other on their own. We had no problems doing that and I'm glad we didn't spend hours fishing over it. If your SO is set on assigned seating, then have it be his project.
    • Reply

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