Assign duties to wedding party?

WW needs to come to this decade. I won't hold my breath.

Definitely no "duties." And there weren't any assigned duties in "the old days," either. People have always been and will always be free to volunteer their help with things, but no one is required to do so nor is anyone required to accept help that is offered.

I mean showing up in a dress (partially) sober is the only requirement. When you assign duties to people you love and care about, it seems too much like a job. I want my BM's to enjoy my wedding as much as I do. I don't want them to feel pressured or like they have an extra job because I'm getting married. It's always nice to be considerate and think of how you would feel if you agreed to be a bridesmaid and then got a list of "to-do's". Not very nice, and certainly not necessary. Everyone is responsible for their own wedding, and while help from your bridal party is awesome, it's not required.

I would assume "duties" to include making sure if no planner is there, all reception decor is in order, caterer has a poc along with dj. Also, the best man and matron of honor have individual "duties" to uphold the bride and groom so that your special day isn't bombarded with go here go there do this do that... it's not old age.

So if you got "serious attitude" the last time, why ask the same question that will elicit the same responses?

No, Kristin. No. Decor is not the bridal party's responsibility. Keeping someone from being "bombarded" is not the bridal party's responsibility. Their responsibility is to purchase the agreed-upon attire within the agreed-upon budget, show up on time and decent working order, walk and stand where they are told, and perhaps sign the marriage certificate/hold the bouquet.

In my own mind, the "assigning duties" part of the checklist involves FH saying to his best man, "You're holding onto the rings for us, yeah?" and me saying to my maid of honor "so when it comes time for the ring exchange, can I hand my bouquet off to you?"

I'm positive you're going to get the same feedback on this post as you received the first time.

I asked the question again because maybe I missed something. I saw a post about the BM not even wanting to pick up her own dress, the thought came to me. Now WW wants me to ASSIGN duties to the wedding party. So I knew the attitudes would come back, but I'm just going by what I see on WW.

Okay, so....

What was the point of this thread, again?

The WW checklist also said to "order your partners clothes" or something to that effect. Since he's not 12 and I'm not his mother I ignored that one.

I was going to say that WW has that on my checklist. Its now past due. I wasn't assigning anyone duties other than the best man to ensure that the groom makes it to the wedding and to have the rings. My MOH is to hold my bouquet. Lol, so if that isn't allowed then too darn bad its my wedding.

Oh I missed this! Let me go pop some popcorn, BRB!

@justplaincat my FH has been very particular about what he wants to wear to the wedding, so i straight up LOL'd at that item on the checklist.

There are no duties. WW's checklist and Kristin are incorrect. You getting married does not make you the boss of other people.

@Teri L that cracks me up!

All your party has to do is show up and that is truly the only thing they need to do. It's YOUR and your FHs wedding you two need to plan it and take full responsibility for everything that has to get done.

Also, you know the people on the forums have nothing to do with the content of the app right?

I personally have no problem asking for help. I will not demand but delegation is very helpful. I am lucky that my BM are wonderful. They want to be apart of the planning process. We plan on having DIY parties and such. I think it is all in how you ask. Telling them, hey do this and saying do you think you could help me with this? We enjoy spending time together. Now if my BM was someone I was not super close with I would not ask.

I think it really depends on the type of wedding and guest you have. I know some people are all fancy and cater everything but some people just can't afford that and if your guest are willing to help out there's nothing wrong with giving them things to do!

We have some really good friends who are cooking for our rehearsal dinner because they literally told us they would be honored to cook for us! They are doing it for free and the food will be SAFE and delicious.

I mean if you have people in your wedding other the the bride, groom and officiant then yes you are going to need to let people know what to do and confirm with them that they are doing it!

Almost every guest coming to my wedding has offered to help. They want to be apart of the fun. It's like one big happy family doing stuff together. (Now I understand not everyone has this sort of situation and I am very blessed.) my guest keep telling me they can't wait for the wedding. Makes me so happy