Asking bridal party with gifts

I didn’t do gifts to ask and 90% of my friends haven’t done that either. If someone would get offended by that, I wouldn’t want that person in my life.

The only person I gave a proposal gift to was my maid of honor. I had bought her a bracelet. She ended up dropping out of my wedding about a month later. We did buy gifts for our bridal party as a thank you and they were given them the night before the wedding. I didn't think it was necessary to do the whole bridal party gift proposal think, but I do think it is nice to get them a gift as a thank you.

I didn’t do this, I mean it’s nice but also they probably wouldn’t use a lot of the stuff in those typical “gifts.” It also puts pressure on them to say yes. I just asked my friends to be bridesmaids lol and I gave them well thought out gifts (about $50-$75 worth) at the rehearsal.

I called my bridesmaids on the phone and asked them. No gifts necessary.

Bridal party proposal gifts are completely unnecessary. While I did do a couple of boxes (I only have 3 on my side of the party), I tailored them to each girl (my sister and MOH got a small bottle of champagne, a glass, and a sister/MOH bracelet (probably $30 total) and my other bridesmaid got a box filled with spa items (maybe $20-25 total?)). My last bridesmaid was asked during a cake decorating class we had already planned on doing together. I simply asked the company to make a special cake topper that read "Will you be my bridesmaid?" and stuck it on her cake when she was done. No present involved in that one. When I was asked to be a bridesmaid in spa-box bridesmaid's wedding, she sent me a balloon filled with confetti that had the question inside to find after I popped it. Cute, but fairly simple. If you're not wanting to simply ask them, maybe you can write them individualized notes about how much their friendship means to you with the question on the bottom of the note? First, it's basically free, but it also shows the girls how much you care about them without material items.

You don’t have to give them gifts when you ask them. You can literally just ask.
I opted to do something very small. I gave them each a bottle of wine or beer and a glass that said “bridesmaid” or “bridesman” on it and a handwritten note. Super simple and inexpensive.

Absolutely not a necessity and to me seems a bit bribe-y.

It’s a nice gesture but not a requirement IMO

I didnt give them gifts when I asked. I gave them nice thank you gifts the morning of the wedding instead.

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Right?! It seems like a bribe more than asking, and I am not looking to pressure someone into saying yes

I don’t have very many close friends so my bridesmaids were mostly expecting it (except for one) so I didn’t ask with gifts initially but I got each of them a candle with a smell I think they would like and am gonna make little cards thanking them for helping.


I think it really depends on your own personal relationship with them and what you’re comfortable with.

Thank you all for your input! From the start I didn't really like the idea an elaborate way to ask, but from what I have seen lately it seemed expected. I am so glad I asked on the forums to broaden the survey area. I was trying to think ahead and got 2 little things on sale/clearance over the past few months (I know on my profile it says "Just said yes" but that is inaccurate and I'm not sure how to change it, I've been engaged for almost 2 years). I've just gotten some hand sanitizers that say "Bride Tribe" and some EOS Chapsticks, nothing too crazy and something useful.

Don't buy in to the recent trend. Giving gifts when you ask, before anyone has done anything, is pressure on people to say yes, whether they have the time, money, and interest, or not. I hate it when people ask with gifts. If they do it, get one larger meaningful gift at wedding time. Not little gifts throughout. It is hugely embarrassing to both sides when a bridesmaid can't do it, and bride is there with gifts. Talk with individuals, privately, in person or over the phone, so you can know how they feel about it directly. And never, ever, surprise a group you have invited together to ask, or invite someone with others around.

I got my bridesmaids a little box with like a candle, a bath bomb, a photo of us, and a little note but I definitely didn’t need to, and I wouldn’t expect it from someone if they were asking me. It’s just an extra.


A phone call is a perfectly fine way to ask. If you want to do something more than just asking on the phone but an actual gift is out of the budget then writing a heartfelt note would be a nice gesture.
Do whatever you want, and whatever is within your means. Your bridesmaids are the women you are closest to, they aren’t looking for a gift, just a gesture of how much they mean to you.

No need for gifts and it’s not offensive at all to verbally express a heartfelt reason why you want them to stand next to you in your wedding day . Honestly, some wedding fads just aren’t worth following. Plus the stuff I see given in these “proposal” boxes are often a useless array of knickknacks (now THAT’S offensive) Lol. Save your money to use on a thank you gift after the wedding or cover the cost (or a portion) of their dress fee, hair, makeup or some other useful area.

View Quoted Comment Yes to all of this!!!

I hand write out letters to the bridal party asking them and mailed them out to them. I'm currently stocking up bags for all of them for the wedding day.

I did gifts but nothing major. I got cards made on Etsy with our wedding info (colors, location etc) to inform my girls, then I got hair ties that said wedding vibes, then found these cute hand sanitizers at bath and body works that said bride tribe. I threw in a hand written card and some chocolate and they all loved it!

I spent less than $5 per bridesmaid.
1 - free was via facebook message - she was living abroad
1 - cheap wine she liked with a custom label $42 - gift bag with wild berry skittles and fave red starbursts $3?
It was honestly just a little token gift. They would have said yes if I asked them outright, but I wanted to surprise them and ask my MOH first.

My bridesmaid proposal boxes inspired by my engagement ring box




I just gave my bridesmaid proposal boxes over Christmas! Here are some things to keep in mind: 1) This isn’t a requirement. You’ll also give a “Thank You” gift to your bridal party closer to the wedding.2) If you would like to do this, you can do it on a budget! My boxes included Starbucks tumblers, tofu doughnuts and a “Will you be my bridesmaid?” card. What added to the cost was the addition of their Christmas gifts in the boxes [...giftcards to their favorite tea shops & health & beauty shops]. They loved how they turned out, and I was very happy I decided to do it.