Asking a bridesmaid who has to travel?

We have an OOT bridesmaid and groomsman (they are married to each other). They would come no matter what, but we are going to offer to help out with the dress and tux rental. We may not be able to pay for it all, but will help as much as we can.

As for asking her, can you tell her that you don't need an answer now--but you would love to have her stand up at your wedding and if she cannot--either financially or because of work obligations, etc.--that you understand?

I have a Bridesmaid that lives in VA (I live in Cali) and when I asked I told her that I would not be able to pay for airfare or anything like that but her stay here would be on me. I also asked if her and her husband would be willing to watch over our place while we leave and they were more then happy to do so. If you want her to, then by all means, ask. Least she would say is not I cant.

Originally we had a groomsman in Iraq (now in Texas), two in Indiana, one in Illinois and one in Minnesota. All my bms were in Minnesota. Now we have 2 gm in MN and 2 in Indiana. The one in TX and one in IL have dropped out because of different issues (one has training, he's army and one has family issues on the East Coast he can't get out of). If I were asked by a good friend to be in her wedding and there was any way I could make it happen I would. No harm in asking.

Thanks girls - I am calling her in a bit to catch up and chat and plan on asking her then. I'll let her know there's no pressure and that I'd understand if she can't or needs time to check her finances, etc. I think we'd be able to cover all of her expenses while she's here in Colorado except for lodging the night of the wedding. We can arrange rides for her and her husband, our extra bedroom at our apt and possibly even transport to and from the airport. Thanks again!

I too have a BM who lives out of state. I didn't want to burden her with the extra expense either. But I asked her to be in my wedding and told her I would understand if it would be too expensive. Guess what she end up saying? She said she would be honored to stand up in my wedding!

My MOH lives in SAn Francisco and We live in Phoenix. I let her know when i asked that I would understand if she could not make it due to the financial obligations. She told me she wouldn't dream of declining and in the end, she paid for everything. We offered to help, but she declined. The only thing we could do was give her the dicounted rate at the hotel.

I was so grateful to her. Because of her job, she could not leave until Friday evening. The Wedding was Saturday. then she flew into Phoenix and drove to Sedona (venue) in the middle of the night to be there in time. I love her!

Hi Julean! I'm in Phoenix too--North Phoenix, to be exact! We thought about getting married in AZ but it was just easier to do it here.

Just ask! I am traveling for my MOH and she is traveling for me as well. My other BM actually is traveling to both of our weddings too, lol. Now my MOH has had one prospective BM that said she couldnt make the trip. You dont know until you ask! Give her some time to think it over too and let her know right off the bat that you know its a lot to ask but would love if she could be there for you. Now as a BM that is traveling if you could help pay for any of those expenses....I am sure it would be greatly appreciated. However if you cant, thats is completely understandable.

Say what you just said.. it was perfectly worded

All my bridesmaids are out of town, they are all paying for their own travel. I helped pay for certain portions of their stuff, like paid 50% of their dress, or I bought one bridesmaid her shoes, my MOH is coming in from Hawaii so I bought her a hairpiece and a bracelet as well.

I would just let her know you would love for her to be in the wedding if she has the time off/money to travel but you understand if she cannot come.