Are you Offended? (re: plus 1s)

Personally, I couldn't see myself being offended at being invited without a plus one if I were not seriously dating someone. Even then, it's not so much about it being offensive to me as it is about being uncomfortable. If someone invited me to their wedding solo and I was not going to know a lot of people there, I would probably decline. This would not be because I would think they had done something wrong, but simply because I would feel awkward at the actual wedding. I wouldn't assume it had anything to do with me or my partner and I just can't imagine myself being mad about it.

Sorry but I am not inviting anyone I've never met. I'm sticking to the rule of engaged, married or living together for people in these situations. If the person is married/engaged and I don't know their spouse, they get an invite because you can't break a social unit. Definitely no randoms, If I have met the guest's SO and they have been together for a while, yes they get an invite. If I've never met you, sorry, nope!

I am giving anyone in a relationship a plus one. I agree I dont want randoms. But also, our group of friends are all so intertwined,,, each single person would have abotu 10 other people they know and like to hang out with.

That being said, I plan to check in closer to see if anyof them have new relationships. I dont think it matters how long theyve been dating. But in that case I will add a plus one. I just dont like people bringing their "friends" as their date. I dont know if its rude or not but GOOD TOPIC! This has been on my mind lately.

What about wedding party? If they arent in any type of relationship

I would not be offended. FH has gone to two weddings alone and I have gone to three when I was still in college alone. This is how we sorted the plus one issue out ourselves: If we had absolutely no idea someone was dating someone or we knew ahead of time they would be coming alone, we did not give them a plus one. We did not want people we did not know AT ALL at the wedding. If we knew Uncle so-and-so was dating Jane that is one thing but if it was a deal where Uncle so-and-so was casually dating random people we did not grant a plus one. We actually had three guests mark out how many people we invited on their RSVP and add more people anyway - two weeks out I still have no idea who is coming and I have no idea how to address these people in seating. It peeves me that guests think it is ok to bring uninvited guests no matter the situation. I would never add a plus one to a single RSVP if it was me.

My dh and I dated exclusively for 5 years prior to getting married. We were engaged for a little over a year and moved in together at that time. If he not invited to a wedding with me prior to us being engaged I would have declined. It was a serious longterm relationship. Just because we weren't living together or engaged at 3 1/2 years doesn't mean we weren't serious. Do not invite me to a celebration of your relationship while you disrespect mine. I think needing to know a partner in order for them to make the cut is stupid. A couple together for 6 months and engaged gets invited together but a couple seriously committed for 3 years and not engaged does not?

I wouldn't be offended if FH wasn't invited to a wedding with me but I wouldn't attend. Basically, if you don't know him by note, we are not that close and I see no reason to attend your wedding. I dislike huge weddings anyway.

I would be offended and so with my FH. If he's not invited, I'm not invited and vice versa.

Anyone in a relationship gets to bring his or her SO, regardless of the length of the relationship. We also extended plus-one offers to some of our single guests who wouldn't know many people. To me, it's more important that my guests enjoy themselves than that every single person at my wedding is someone I'm personally close to. When you invite someone to a wedding, you're asking them to celebrate your relationship, so I think it's important to respect your guests' relationships as much as possible.

I had been dating my then-bf (now FH) for 3 years and we were living together. He got an invitation to a wedding for just him. I was very offended because FH assured me that it had to be an oversight etc etc etc, but it wasn't. Suffice it to say, he did not attend that wedding (not related but that couple is also getting divorced now sadly...). However, when we had only been dating for 6 months, he was invited to a wedding and I wasn't included, but that didn't bother me. My rule of thumb was if they are in a relationship when I collect addresses then the person they're in a relationship with was a named guest. I didn't actually do any "plus ones"... Only named guests. I got names of all the people who were the bf's/gf's of the people we were inviting.

Yes we'd be offended. I gave everyone over 18 a plus one. Many chose not to use it, but many did and I'm so glad I was able to party with some people's now fiance's that I had never met. Did I go out of my way to meet the "randos"? No. Did I tell them I'm so excited they were able to come and help get there dates on the dance floor? Absolutely. I wanted a fun atmosphere at my wedding, and the dance floor was always PACKED and I think people having "randos" there had a lot to do with it.

@Emily & Justin you have wonderful priorities regarding your guests and why you chose to invite them!

My wedding is small and still I gave everyone, single or married a plus one. I've been invited to many weddings and 99% of the time, was only given one invitation. I didn't want to do that to my friends regardless of their relationship status.

I would be and have been offended. This happened to me years ago. I had just started dating someone shortly before I was invited to her wedding. I was not given a plus one. I realized that she didn't know him, and that she made her guest list before we were a couple. However, I was dating him and someone else casually when she was wedding planning. I tried to make the best of it since I knew several people who were attending. However, I was stung all over again when I got there and saw that she had at least 4 open seats/no shows at the two tables my friends and I were seated at. I know she knew about some of them ahead of time because I was with her the previous week when a mutual friend told her that her husband couldn't come because he couldn't get off from work. I'm over it now, but it felt like she didn't think my relationship had merit because it was new or because I hadn't been exclusively dating him at first. That's interesting considering she and her husband were married less than a year after they met. I will absolutely give every adult a plus one at my wedding.

Yeah I'd definitely be offended. If I was single I wouldn't care but if I was dating I would like to attend with that person

If I was single and wasn't given a plus one, I don't know if offended is the right word, but I would feel like the host thought I was less-than because I wasn't permitted to bring an escort. I just don't understand the reasoning "I've never met him/her" if you are having more than only immediate family present. If you want an intimate wedding, have an intimate wedding. But if intimate to you means 60 or more of your closest family and friends, that is not intimate and every adult should be permitted to have an escort. You are fooling yourself by saying you don't want anyone there you don't know. It's about the cost per head. It's not possible to socialize and get quality time with 60, 75, 100 people at a wedding, especially when you are the guest of honor.

I've had a few different situations involving this to see a few points of view. My friend told me up front in early 2012 that I wouldn't be able to invite a guest to her 2013 wedding that I was traveling halfway across the country for. At the time, I wasn't dating anyone so that was fine. I knew I'd meet her friends at a 3 day bachelorette party. 6 months into her planning, I met FH. Before I bought a plane ticket, she had had so many verbal declines that she told me I could bring him after all. I wasn't even going to mind not taking him, I loved her friends and would have been happy to hang out with them.

Two years ago, FH's cousin got married and didn't give him a guest - granted they had no idea we had been together for a year. FH's sister couldn't come, so their dad mentioned that to the cousin who had no problem with me coming. I wasn't insulted - FH doesn't really talk to his cousins, so they just didn't know about me. That's fine.

What I did have a problem with was my cousin messaging me up front saying "no one gets a date". Three of us in my family couldn't bring our fiances, my sister couldn't bring her WIFE. They upgraded all the decor and there was an empty chair next to me. THAT was insulting.

We aren't necessarily "offended" when we don't receive a plus one for a wedding because we understand that people have budget constraints and sometimes cannot invite everyone they might want to. However, I'd be lying if I said it doesn't factor into the decision to accept an invitation or send in regrets, the latter being the course of action more often than not. Unless the wedding is local (in which we usually attend the ceremony but decline the reception), neither of us is particularly enthusiastic about traveling to weddings without the other.

I've been invited to a wedding solo of a friend who knew I had a BF at the time but a TON of my friends were there so it wasn't a big deal. I was invited to a destination wedding solo when H and I had been living together for over 6 months, I declined that one. Since we are married now, I would be shocked if I was invited to weddings without him and vice versa, but I don't know about offended. For our wedding, I wanted a name for everyone, so I reached out to all my single guests, and asked them if they wanted to bring someone and whom. Most declined. Everyone who was in any type of relationship (and whether I only knew about it via FB) got a plus one. My cousin started seeing someone 4 months before my wedding. I asked if she wanted to bring him though I had never met him. She did and he was very nice. H's brother asked for a plus one one week before the wedding. His guest came and she was very sweet. However, they're now broken up. The only sucky thing is she's in a ton of pictures.

I know this is the second time I've commented on this thread, but reading some of the comments I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the idea of not inviting both halves of a couple that is either engaged or married! Would you expect someone to attend any other large party/gathering/celebration/event without their fiance, husband or wife??? I'm seriously just baffled at that idea. Maybe offended isn't the right word - @Lara I think you nailed it with "shocked". @Joe, I absolutely agree with you that it factors into the decision to attend or not...and sometimes I do rude things. Like when SIL addressed their invitation to me only, FH still came with me to the wedding. They didn't do RSVPs (I know, what?!) and had a buffet and no seating chart, so I didn't feel bad about it at all. Had it been a plated dinner with a seating chart, I probably would've addressed it with her and said I won't be attending without FH.

FutureMrsDrF takes the prize for attending the most offensive wedding. She wrote, "Three of us in my family couldn't bring our fiances, my sister couldn't bring her WIFE. They upgraded all the decor and there was an empty chair next to me. THAT was insulting."

I could not have attended. The fiances are bad enough -- that's horrible. However, your sister couldn't bring her wife? Her wife? Unbelievable. I'm sure her upgraded decor more than made up for the fact that three fiances and a spouse were sitting at home. What a blast...