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Beginner July 2011

Are ushers part of the wedding party??

Maria, on February 8, 2011 at 12:55 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12
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My FH has included 7 of his very close friends to be his groomsmen. Although I'm not SUPER close to my half brothers, I'd like to somehow include them in our wedding as well. Problem is, FH isn't thrilled with them being groomsmen, since he doesnt really have a relationship with them.

I thought perhaps I can have them as ushers.. but I'm not certain what this role is other than ushering ppl to their seats at the ceremony. Would they be considered part of the wedding party?

These are my questions:

-Do you give gifts to the ushers the same way you do to groomsmen?

-Do ushers also go with the wedding party to take pics after the ceremony?

-Is there any other role other than ushering guests to their seats at church?

-Do they wear the same tux as the groomsmen? or do they simply wear their own suit/tux?



Latest activity by Wendy, on May 17, 2013 at 9:56 AM
  • Beth
    Expert May 2012
    Beth ·
    • Flag

    Typically, the usher would wear a tux like the groomsmen. For my first wedding, we just had the ushers in a different vest color than the groomsmen. I have attended weddings where the ushers just wore their own suit though. If you do have them wear tuxes, since they are spending money it would be appropriate to get them a gift. As far as the wedding party pictures, I think that is entirely up to you. The only other role for an usher that I can think of would be handing out programs, if you are having them.

    • Reply
  • Jaemi C. fka Jaemi S. :-)
    Master October 2010
    Jaemi C. fka Jaemi S. :-) ·
    • Flag

    I had two "ushers" if you will. My two cousins who are like brothers, but just couldn't be in the wedding party. They handed out programs. They got to wear any suit in their closet. I gave them a boutiner and invited them to the rehearsal dinner. They were not in any of my "formal" pictures, but I did grab them afterwards to get the shot.

    • Reply
  • L
    Devoted June 2011
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    We're going to have a couple of college age cousins as ushers and we're just going to ask them to wear their own suits. I don't really consider them part of the wedding party. We're doing similar to what Jaemi described, giving them boutineers and inviting them to the rehearsal dinner. But if you don't ask them to the actual rehearsal, you don't have to ask them to the dinner.

    They're just going to usher guests. We'll probably end up giving them a small gift as thanks (~$20. We're planning on spending about $50/person on the wedding party).

    I don't think we'll have them come to pics after the wedding. Although since your potential ushers are your brothers, you may want them part of the family photo. Your call though. There's no right or wrong answer.

    • Reply
  • That one chick who's married to that one dude
    Master April 2012
    That one chick who's married to that one dude ·
    • Flag

    1. You should get them a small thank you gift as part of helping out for your wedding. It will make them feel appreciated.

    2. That is optional. Some people have their ushers take pics and some don't. It is really your preference. I have seen weddings where they do and some that don't so that would be what you want.

    3. They can usher guest and give out programs. They basically help people to get situated in at the ceremony location.

    4. This is once again optional. What we decided to do is for the ushers to wear the same tux as the groomsmen, but a black vest and tie so it is known that they are ushers.

    Hope that helps Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • CK
    Expert April 2011
    CK ·
    • Flag

    Great question OP.

    I know my FH was debating on whether to include his cousin & one of his good friends (who didn't make the cut as a groomsman) - as ushers.

    This discussion has given me a some good directions so thanks all!


    Since we are paying for the groomsmen's suits, is it a MUST to have the ushers match them?

    I see some say to come as in any suit they already own esp. since they won't be in the pictures or officially part of the bridal party.

    • Reply
  • NowMissyL
    VIP May 2012
    NowMissyL ·
    • Flag

    I agree with what Future Mrs. Hardcastle said. I am including my two ushers in the wedding party and plan on having them take pictures with us. They are also my two closest cousins. I want the party to be dressed similarly so I'll probably figure out a way to set the ushers a part from the groomsmen. Not sure how yet though. Quite a few people are getting corsages because they are close to us and involved in the wedding.

    • Reply
  • Maria
    Beginner July 2011
    Maria ·
    • Flag

    I really like the idea of having the ushers wear just a black tux with a black tie.. so there is some differentiation from the groomsmen, but still look sharp.

    I also am wondering, is 5 ushers too many?

    • Reply
  • z&k
    Expert May 2011
    z&k ·
    • Flag

    Don't the ushers unroll the aisle runner too,because the groomsmen would either be at the altar with the groom,or in the back,waiting to walk with the bridesmaids....

    • Reply
  • Nicci
    Master July 2010
    Nicci ·
    • Flag

    We had two ushers. They wore khakis and black shirts with a brightly colored tie. It matched the feel of the wedding attire but they didn't have to spend the 170 bucks for the tux (smdh). They weren't in any pictures simply because my photographer was a bit of a flake when it came to organization. My ushers just made sure the elderly were sitting in the shaded part and the family was up front and that everyone got a program/tear packet.

    • Reply
  • B
    Master January 2011
    bluedaisy ·
    • Flag

    We had 2 ushers for 120 guests. They ushered people to their seats as well as unrolled the aisle runner.

    We let them wear their own suits-it didnt make sense to me to make them spend a bunch of money on a suit since they arent actaully in the wedding.

    whether or not you give them gifts or include them in the wedding party is up to you.

    We didnt give them gifts, but did list them on the program as ushers...my groom took a pic with them beforehand, but they didnt come for pics with us afterward

    • Reply
  • Christine
    Super October 2011
    Christine ·
    • Flag

    We are having two ushers, and I am paying for their tuxs as their gift. They are my nephew (19) and brother(14). I do not plan on them being in the wedding party pics at the park, but some at the church. We are having an adults only reception, so puting the boys and my niece (15) in the wedding justified why others were not invited.

    • Reply
  • W
    Just Said Yes September 2013
    Wendy ·
    • Flag

    We are only having 1 attendant each, but I wanted ushers, so I'm utilizing my nephews and my FH's great nephews for ushers, programs, bells (instead of bubbles or rice). Like Christine, this covers them under the "involved in wedding" so they can be at the Adult Reception. I am just having them wear a regular suit - No tux needed.

    • Reply

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