Are Save the Dates really necessary?

We are emailing our save the dates with a photo from our engagement shoot. No need to do physical ones, most people just toss them after the wedding!
But it’s nice to give people heads up. For example my wedding in in september 2020 and most of the guests are either coming from opposite side of the US or from overseas. In that case they will need my Save the Date to get visa or to know when to look for flights. So I’m sending it over a year in advance. So it really depends on your situation.

We did them and now I’m starting to think they were unnecessary because people definitely didn’t save the date 🙄🙄

I did them, but they aren't necessary. I got a really good Black Friday deal on Vistaprint for magnets. It was $65 for 100 save the dates and an order of matching address labels.

Since most of the guests are from out of town, save the dates are a good idea, so that they have time to make travel arrangements and potentially save up for the cost of travel.

Totally unnecessary. I would write a nice letter to grandparents and email parents and wedding party.

Too many people get in trouble when they miscounted number of guests they are allowed, and then have to cut (which is rude). And if you do send out STDs, you need to make up your mind re kids and plus ones.

How is she inviting people? You and FH need to get on the same page. Don't ASK her how many invites she needs, you and FH need to decide on number.

Completely unnecessary imo unless you're inviting 300 people and it's a DW, etc. It's easy enough to tell people your date. To me, STDs are a waste of time and money. I think people just like to send out their pictures. I agree with PP that sending STDs pigeon holes you into inviting these people or appearing rude if you don't.

I'm doing STD's because it's a Friday and some family members have to take the day off from work... So I give them 6 months to handle that hehehe

I don't think it's necessary, it's just a nice touch if you WANT to do it. you can share the date via word of mouth honestly....friends and immediate family know our date even though we haven't sent out the stds yet.

View Quoted Comment I love my future MIL, but that woman is a control freak who won't be told no and my FH agrees with her to an extent. I'm only inviting the Aunts and Uncles and the cousins I'm close too (which is gonna piss some cousins off, but I honestly don't care). My FH and his mom want to invite everyone in their family (136 people) but promise only like 50 tops are coming. They insist on it to avoid family drama. Idk. I wish we had just eloped now.lol.

We are doing save the dates because we are having a Friday wedding. Also, most of our guest list is out of town and out of state...so we want to be able to give everyone the heads up and time to plan ahead

Depends on your crowd. We have a lot of traveling involved so we're sending save the dates so those people can adjust accordingly. If you're hoping for a small wedding then a phone call will suffice, if you have people traveling via plane I'd do a save the date.

Online or word of mouth would suffice as STD notifications.

They are only necessary if you want them. I"m not doing them, for me they're a waste of money, but I know for some brides they help. I did an event page on Facebook instead. There are only a few people not on their, like my aunt and uncle who I plan to just call. I'd rather use the money on other aspects of my wedding

We didn’t do save the dates and everything has worked out just fine. I found it to be rather expensive just to send out an extra invitation basically. We also didn’t do engagement pictures, I just didn’t feel it was a necessity and we’re both penny pinchers 😂

Thank you all for the advice! I really think word of mouth and a website should suffice. It's not so much a money issue since my parents ate paying, but I would rather not spend their money on frivolous things. I also just don't really have the time to sit down with my fiance and pick out those and actual invitations on top of everything else.

If you have guests coming a long way it's good to let them know as hotels and flights are a lot cheaper in advance-- but it's definitely not necessary to send them to the entire guest list if you don't want to! And, like others have said, they don't need to be formal. Emails do just fine.

I didn't do them. I didn't think it was necessary. however I do agree in telling people somehow. I just told everyone rather than waste money and time on actual save the dates.

We skipped save the dates and just communicated the wedding date to family and friends via word of mouth. We didn't think they were necessary either.

We skipped the save the dates, and decided to send out our wedding invitations to people outside of the area a few weeks earlier than a person normally would. For people that live close and I see on a regular basis, word of mouth seems to work quite well.

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Hey Jessie Did you and your FS decide to skip the save the dates in the end?