Are church weddings not a thing anymore esp with older couples?

Most weddings I've attended have not had the ceremony at the church, but most I've attended also haven't been particularly religious. Lots of great reasons for having the wedding at the venue- less commuting, you can immediately roll into the reception, sometimes less costs associated with having the ceremony and reception in the same place. I didn't really think it was an age thing though!

My FH and I are in our 40's, 2nd marriage for both of us, and we are getting married in a church. The church is beautiful and is less than 10 minutes from our reception venue.

We're getting married at our Church,it wouldn't go down any other way!

I don't think it has anything to do with age but rather whether they are religious or if religion is a big part of their lives. For us that is not the case so we're having a civil ceremony at an event center.

@SOS, there is no denying that many organized religions and some of the people who follow them are very judgmental and small-minded. And yes, this is one post by one person, but the impact of the judgment of many who are religious but aren't loving to others is great and is a problem in the larger scope of things. I, and many others, stray away from religion because of how we're treated or talked to/about. Forget for a moment the comment on the timeliness of the weddings @Nas attended. For some, religious weddings in a place of worship can be extremely uncomfortable, especially for those who may be shunned or vilified by such institutions (LGBTQ, those of other faiths, atheists, etc). A civil wedding is more likely to be inclusive and the lack of religious language would likely make more guests comfortable.

Last school year at work, I specifically felt shunned and excluded from social things by some of my peers because I am not Christian. It was an awful feeling because I genuinely liked them, but all they talked about was church, and God, and Jesus, and scripture, and they even had open conversations in front of me about how they could never truly be friends with "non-believers". It's that kind of bullshit that drives people away from religion.

The only way I could see this relating to age is that a young couple who's more financially or emotionally dependent on their parents might feel more pressure to get married in a church to appease their families. So you might get younger couples having church weddings when they'd prefer something different, whereas you wouldn't really see that with an older couple. If an older couple is getting married in the church, it's because that's what they want

Many people still get married in churches, I think the difference is just that its become accepted and common to do it outside of them. I remembered kearning in Catholic grade school that it used to be that priests wouldn't perform ceremonies outside churches but now it seems to depend on the priest. FH and I are atheist though so a church was not considered and would have been weird for us to do.

It's not about where you get married. It's about who you're marrying. It's that simple.

Don't listen to your friend. Get married in a park, a venue, an aquarium, a church, on a mountain, it doesn't matter. What matters is you're getting married to the love of you life.

I'm in my mid-twenties, as is FH. We are getting married at an all inclusive venue. My marriage will be just as valuable as those who chose to get married in a church.

I've always wanted an outdoor wedding. I have 3 weddings this year - 2 are getting married outside, 1 got married in a church. To each his own!

You can get married where you feel like getting married. I am getting married in a church to save money. The church is letting me use the building for free and it is beautiful with a lot of space.

Honestly, I think there are less people with "home" churches than there used to be. The church we consider our "home church" is in a high school gym. If they had a church-church, I might be more inclined, but I'm not tied to any one church anyway, so might as well get married at our venue. I think guest convenience is becoming more of a priority and church weddings come with transportation and gap issues sometimes.

Most weddings I've been to have been backyard weddings. In fact, I don't I've ever attended a church wedding. My FH and I are getting married in a church though.

There are so many barriers to getting married in some churches it seems, gender or sex, different faiths, cohabitation, divorce....I'm not getting married in a church but will have a minister from my faith (Unitarian) officiate. Personally, I am not having the ceremony in a church because I didn't want to have to pay to use the sanctuary since I am not an active member there (I do regularly attend church, just not in the city where our wedding is). I wish I were because the building is gorgeous. I actually think that the non-church wedding has just become the wedding industry standard, which has trended towards personalization. And they get to sell you more stuff for your ceremony. I don't see many pictures in the bridal magazines of church ceremonies.

In my experience, the determining factor in whether a couple I knew got married in a church was whether they were a member of one to begin with.

@Catti I understand where you're coming from, but if I respect other people's choice not to follow organized religion, they should respect mine to be part of a Church. Not on WW, but I have gotten HORRIFIC comments from people about my religion. My own brother went out of his way to make fun of religious people in his secular wedding, saying that anyone who believes marriage is a religious sacrament has mental problems because it's nothing more than a government contract. Yes I'm Catholic, but I also live in one of the most liberal states in the country. My Church is FAR from how people describe Catholic Churches on here. They welcome everyone with open arms, including the LGBTQ community. So yes, SOME people who are religious are judgmental and small-minded, but so are SOME non-religious people. I've attended Muslim weddings where I was pretty uncomfortable and people were definitely staring/judging me, but I brushed it off because I wanted to be there for my friend and celebrate with her. Also, remember that a wedding invitation is not a summons. If you are uncomfortable attending a religious wedding, you are more than welcome to decline. I would never ask my Jewish friend to not hold her ceremony in a synagogue because it makes me uncomfortable. I'm also sorry to hear about your coworkers, but if all they want to do is talk about is God, that's their choice and their right. They don't have to include you, and honestly it's their loss if they don't want to be friends with people who don't share their same views. If you have felt driven away from religion, that's unfortunate, but 100% your choice- just don't blame all religious people, because some of us have been nothing but welcoming and accepting of everyone.

Get married wherever we want. It's your day

@Sos0033 Catti literally said that religious ceremonies are inherently exclusive (which they undeniably are). I don't think anyone here is disrespecting your decision to be a Catholic. I think the post was a little judgy with the whole, "I can't imagine getting married in a restaurant or catering hall."

No one is saying an invitation is a summons but the exclusivity of religious ceremonies are in general uncomfortable for atheists. Personally, I 100% agree with @Catti on this. I personally, find it so strange to do Communion during a wedding because it's weird to sit around when everyone else is getting Communion. I mean do whatever you want for your wedding. No one is saying to change. You can't compare the inclusivity of merely including LGBTQ people to come to church to the inclusivity of a completely secular wedding. I don't mean to put words in Catti's mouth either...

@Sos, where did I blame all religious people? I said "some" and made sure to use language that didn't place blame on everyone in any community. Yes, there are judgmental people from all walks of life, but a lot of people think the way they do because they do not challenge what they know from their religious teachings/general thoughts from their faith-based community. My aunt used to tell my uncle that he would burn in hell because he didn't go to church, as she was totally influenced (brainwashed) by the church she attended. There are many religious people who think and say that they love and accept everyone, but bring up, say, transgender students and bathrooms, and you may see a very unloving side to them. Again, that's the kind of stuff that warrants criticism of religious organizations. I would guess that most atheists or just those who don't belong to organized religions are apathetic towards those who practice a faith. From our perspective, there's a lot of hate (at least a lot of side eye) coming from the other side.

Re: my former coworkers, so if I work in a public school classroom or grade team with others all day and I'm essentially excluded from conversation or everything (the simplest of interactions) is framed in the context of scripture and God and such when they know I am not religious, that's ok? I have never said anything against Christianity to them because I do not believe discussing such highly personal beliefs is appropriate in the workplace, especially during working hours, and especially when students are around.

Look, just because people are critical of religions (as we are free to be), doesn't mean it's a personal attack against you or your faith. You're still in the majority in this world as someone who practices a faith. I'd say there is a lot more discrimination and animosity towards those who do not actively take part in any faith, especially in the major religions.

ETA: fixed typo

I'm Catholic. I was raised in a very Catholic upbringing. My sister married in the Catholic Church. Fortunately, my family is completely happy for me wherever I get married.

I chose not to get married in the Catholic Church. I do feel guilty about it. After my sister's wedding I knew I wanted a ceremony and reception in one location. The Catholic gap is a bummer. I found a former Catholic Church downtown that was renovated into a wedding venue. It is perfect. It has the feel of a church but customizable. I'm in my early 30s.

I also think a lot of couples get married outside a church for the second time as the first time round they did what their parents wanted: A teacher at my son's school (this was 10-12 years ago) got married in the back of a classic truck (in the bed - lol!) They loved classic cars, so what the heck!

My brother got married thirty years ago in a church, reception in the Great Hall, dancing, etc......it was a great time! It was nice as it was all on one place.

It's all about preferences. If I really loved the structure of my church, I'd do it there. But it's just not aesthetically pleasing - plus won't hold enough guests for me.