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Maureen
Devoted October 2026

Are church weddings not a thing anymore esp with older couples?

Maureen, on September 26, 2017 at 10:25 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 88

A friend of mine will be getting married for first time at age 49 next year and her groom will be age 50 by then. Also his first marriage. I was surprised when she told me she wasn't getting married in a church and she said "nobody gets married in church anymore esp if you're older like 40s and 50s and beyond". She said, "maybe if you're in your 20s, they're getting married in church but not older like us". I never heard of that. I know my fiancee and I want to be married in a church. It will be our first marriage. I can't imagine getting married in a restaurant or catering hall. But to each his own. Was just curious if anyone else was finding this to be true, that most couples are getting married at the venue? I've only been to 2 weddings in my life. First in 1991 the bride was 21 and was married in church. The 2nd wedding I been to was this past july. Couple were in their late 40s and married at the restaurant.

88 Comments

Latest activity by Nancy Taussig, on October 1, 2017 at 1:48 PM
  • Del
    Master November 2017
    Del ·
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    You can get married anywhere you want. It's fine. Just make sure it holds your full guest list, has comfortable seats and is temperature controlled. The rest is up to you.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    I've been to over 13 weddings, and about 3-4 of them were in a church.

    I'm 40, H is 41 and we got married at the venue. It was convenient for us and our guests, and H and I aren't super religious. Also, his home church he was considering didn't maintain it very well and he felt it was too rundown looking.

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  • golferchick
    Savvy September 2018
    golferchick ·
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    Religion isn't part of our lives and I can't imagine getting married in a church. We're getting married in a gorgeous glass conservatory at a nice boutique hotel ...

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  • ColorMeBlu
    Super May 2018
    ColorMeBlu ·
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    My FH and I are in our early 30's and will be married right outside of our reception hall.

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  • Elizabeth
    Beginner October 2017
    Elizabeth ·
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    I'm getting married in a church, and many of my family and friends have too. I do know that some denominations are strict about allowing someone who had once been divorced to be married in their church, which perhaps could correlate with what you're hearing in terms of it being uncommon for folks in their 40s or 50s since it's more likely to be remarriage :/ ...I don't actually know though!

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  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
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    I don't know if there's a trend related to age of the couple and whether they get married in a church, but...DH and I are 25 and 30 respectively and we chose to get married at our venue. We decided to get married in the state where I grew up instead of the state and city where we were living at the time. This did not prevent us from having the religious ceremony that we wanted. We paid our minister from our church to travel across the country to officiate and had our church wedding in the gorgeous courtyard at our venue. Win win.

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  • D
    Just Said Yes February 2019
    Devin ·
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    I totally support you Maureen R! My friends were in their mid 40s and 50s when they got married just 2 months ago. First marriage, beautiful church wedding! All 5 weddings I've attended were beautiful simple church weddings. Most were in their 40s. Smiley smile I'm having my wedding in the church I've grown up in. I can think of no more perfect place.

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  • MoreMoore
    VIP November 2017
    MoreMoore ·
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    I don't think it's related to age necessarily. I think church weddings are just in the decline in general.

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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    When the percentage of American attending church regularly is estimated at less than 20% by some sources, it doesn't surprise me at all that so many marry outside the church. I find that decision to be more genuine that those who don't belong to or attend a church, yet want to get married in a church- sometimes the most photogenic one.

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  • Sos0033
    VIP September 2017
    Sos0033 ·
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    I think more couples are choosing to get married at the reception venue out of convenience, but also because they feel less pressure to have a religious ceremony. Secular weddings are much more widely accepted now than they were 50 years ago. I'm not sure age is a huge factor, though I suspect many Church weddings from 40 years ago were because the bride was very young and her parents paid for the whole wedding and thus dictated where it would be held.

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  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    Both my daughter's who are getting married next year will be in the church. I just attended 2 weddings this month, one was in a chapel while the other (couple in their 50's) was outdoors but was a full church service, just not in a building. I've only been to a couple non church weddings, so I guess it depends on your social/family circle.

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  • Natalie
    VIP March 2017
    Natalie ·
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    We got married on a golf course and we got a little bit of shit from grandparents for not getting married in the Catholic church. We're in our early 30s.

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  • fallinthegarden
    Master October 2017
    fallinthegarden ·
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    I don't think age is a factor. FH and I are 23, first marriage, and we never considered a church wedding. We're not religious, so it wouldn't make sense. We are having a 100% secular wedding in our venue, which is a garden.

    I agree with pps, if church weddings are less common, which wouldn't surprise me, it's because fewer people attend church regularly.

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    You can get married anywhere you want. Most of the people I know are not religious therefore don't get married in the church. I was raised Catholic and H is Christian. We are not super religious and We just didn't want a church setting. We got married at our venue overlooking the ocean and had the reception in one of their ballrooms. I don't think it has to do with age as much as logistics. People don't want gaps between the ceremony and reception and church weddings can be very limiting.


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  • Ks_catonlap
    Super October 2017
    Ks_catonlap ·
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    I feel like it's less and less common for all ages.

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  • Maureen
    Devoted October 2026
    Maureen ·
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    Kate - The demographic my fiancee and I are in are age 48. By time we get married will be 50. We never been married before. We don't have kids. We live in NY. So I guess we are not the norm for our age range. We plan to marry in a church that would be near the venue.

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  • fallinthegarden
    Master October 2017
    fallinthegarden ·
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    ^ I agree with Richard 100%.

    My friend recently got married in a church, and they had a very narrow list of music and readings to pick from, and very limited input into the sermon part of the ceremony. Their ceremony also had a bunch stuff about traditional gender roles because of the association with a church.

    FH and I worked with our officiant to build a totally personalized ceremony from scratch. Every part of it is true to who we are as individuals and as a couple.

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  • Bulbasaur
    Devoted September 2020
    Bulbasaur ·
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    My fiance and I are getting married in the Church. It just depends on your preference and your beliefs.

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  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
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    Like others I don't think it's an age thing. Fewer people regularly attend church and a lot of people opt for more personalised ceremonies at better times. It's up to you as a couple to decide what suits you.

    Someone asked me if I was getting married in a church and I literally laughed at them (I'm an atheist and very passionate about science). We're getting married outside by the beach.

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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    We didn't get married in a church because we are vocally and actively atheist and reject any organized religion. I mean get married wherever you want, though.

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