Apps for cocktail hour??

I hardly eat breakfast on a regular day, so I know I'm def not eating before I go to a wedding. I take hours to get ready and I'm just a guest, if I remember I'll grab a granola bar and coffee for sure.

If you are already spending $60 k, what's another $900 for cheese & crackers ??

I love appetizers, it sets the tone, they look pretty and exciting to start the " party mode"

Maaaan that dinner menu must be long as hell. Sure is taking you a while to post it....

@Terakawa - the $60k wedding isn't hers, it was a wedding she attended.

We're doing chips and salsas. Serve something. It also keeps the guests from getting bored. Popcorn,nuts,cheese,fruit. Doesn't have to cost $10 per person

Oh gymrat. I just got off work . Driving my hr home

Good idea misty! Jeeze i cant imagine what the cutenickname girl would say about that. Thats more money friendly than cheese. B

Kirackle. Im also not ignoring any advice. Im actively involved in this conversation. Because i disagree with your opinion doesnt mean i am not listening

I don't understand why you posted this seeking "opinions" when you don't want them? All you seem to want is for people to agree with you, and most don't, which should give you your answer..

Future mrs deshong. I posted this because i have every right to as you do. Im not looking for anybody to agree but as a couple expressed im apparently not the only one who hasnt noticed apps. Im all for opinions even if YOU have a different opinion from others. Thats what makes it YOUR opinion and shockingly it may not be somebody elses

I understand that, but you are only taking into consideration the two people who agree with you, and not those who don't. It just seems like you aren't respecting those who took the time to tell you their opinions. It seems you have already made up your mind. If you aren't going to listen to other people's opinions why post? That's all I'm saying.

I have the utmost respect for everyone who has commented on this thread and there isnt one post i made that says differently. I appreicate everyones opinion, does it mean i will take it? No i will not have a huge list of apps like gymrats and im perfectly fine with that because to ME that is a waste. It is not completely necessary. It will probably be nice but not necessary. A girl mentioned chips and salsa great idea.

I'm chubby. Yes I think of the food and drinks for weeks prior to a wedding.

I like chips and salsa, add in some guacamole and queso and I'd be a happy girl

Etiquette rules are not opinion. If you have no wish to be polite that's all well and good, but again we are all pointing out that if that's true why do you continue to stir up this thread. You have no need for advice if you don't care how your actions affect others.

You are also extremely naive if you think your guests are saints who won't discuss their experience at your wedding.

What would be truly catty would be to point out your grammar mistakes and malapropisms, but I shall refrain.

Thanks for your time kirackle!

I have an UO here because as a guest I don't really mind if there's apps as long as dinner is served promptly after cocktail hour.

However I have been to a wedding that did turn into an extended 2.5 hour cocktail hour followed by speeches and such before dinner and I was not happy with that lol so I guess I see both sides of it.

I will be having appetizers at my wedding though

Well, hello Courtney. You began this thread by making a declaration, and that declaration motivated your peers (and professionals) to answer you honestly. The issue at hand is the proper etiquette connected to the service of substantial apps during a cocktail hour. Of course they should be served at cocktail hour. That's the beginning, middle, and end of the issue. But, since you took it further than that, let's look at your logic as it compares to the thoughtful responses you received.

Every conventional reception venue has a menu of apps that the couple can PAY for on behalf of their guests. If a couple can't come up with $900 (your stated figure) to cover a basic menu of apps, then they should rethink the cocktail hour. Go ahead, don't spend the money on food -- that doesn't mean, for a minute, that your wedding guests won't be expecting appetizers. Feel free to tell yourself that nobody notices the absence of one of the two staples of a cocktail hour (cocktails and apps).

It looks like the majority of respondents took you at your word when you said, "I know by posting this i will get some very blunt answers and im perfectly fine with that. But are appetizers really necessary at a cocktail hour?" Of course, the members of this forum, those who are active at this hour, responded with candor, and for their efforts, they were treated to these "kind" retorts -- retorts that belied your stated open mindedness on this subject: "The wedding i went to where no budget was even considered had no appetizers and back then i never noticed because an hour of social cocktail hour with drinks it never even crossed my mind.i can gurantee i wouldnt of even noticed them let alone went and ate anything. There was to much catching up to do ,food wasnt even a close thought."

Ahhh...so many grammatical/spelling errors that I'm tempted to address all 13 of them instead of your etiquette fail. I get it -- we all get it -- you don't want to spend $900. With the exception of the one post suggesting that chips and salsa constitute apps, I'm with the majority of posters on this thread. It clear as day -- you aren't intending to host apps at your cocktail hour, and you never intended to when you authored this thread.

Who knows what wedding "where no budget was considered" you attended. Unless it was your wedding, you have no whether a budget was or was not considered (every wedding has a budget). You can claim you know, but you don't, unless you paid the bill.

You wrote, directly to one community member: "I completely understand food is not the way to cut corners. Im stating that in my previous experience these 'apps' werent even thought about. I will continue to do some research and see what others opinions are but you being a lightweight honestly i would think you take into your own consideration on how mnay trios your taking to the bar. i dont talk with my mouth full of food,so either i would be mingling and drinking or standing and eating." Seriously? You responded to a community member by suggesting that she takes too many "trios" (I think you meant "trips) to the bar? Continue with your research, Courtney. You don't talk with your mouth full? Congrats. Neither do the majority of members in this community -- whether it's while enjoying the lovely apps served at a cocktail hour, or at breakfast on Wednesday morning.

And finally, the curtain is drawn, and we hear the truth behind this thread: "...to me its a waste. Id rather put that money towards more food options for dinner." But, I bet you won't. You'll probably just pocket that whopping $900 app bill.

It gets even more insulting as you carry on with this: "I bothered asking because i obviously am not the only one who can do without stuffing my face and mingling with people." Lovely. So, every individual who partakes of properly hosted apps at a wedding is "stuffing their face"? That a horrible description. I guess that's what you need to tell yourself when you won't meet the basic requirements of hosting.

As if you hadn't made your point, you insult Emily with this gem: "yes just to eat an hour is plenty of time. But i dont talk with my mouth full of food,so either i would be mingling and drinking or standing and eating." So, your preference is liquor, and only liquor...but your suggest that another poster takes too many trios/trips to the bar? That's what it sounds like. Emily would be doing what the majority of guests at a properly hosted cocktail hour would be doing -- eating, drinking, and socializing. Have you been to a properly hosted wedding before? Do you not know that that drinks/apps/conversation are the most easily handled social multitasks?

And then, once it becomes clear that the majority opinion -- something you solicited -- doesn't meld with your budget -- you add this: "If you have inviting guests who talk behind your back. Im sorry . I dont associate with those kind of people. I dont think i can think of one person that is as caddy as the people ive seen post on here thinking their shit dont stink. Im all for opinions, i have thick skin. But again they are adults and you are an adult dont blame me because you dont eat. That is a shitty excuse because it takes you too long? U can shove a banana in your mouth while applying your blush? My point blank is i dont talk with my mouth full, im drinking a beer, no one will be passed out in an hour after one hr of no apps, its social hour ,not eat for an hour. This wedding is bringing alot of people together and i am positive apps are not completely necessary. As for gymrat thats great im glad your list is long unfortunately i can imagine how much will go in the trash."

Hardly linear and quite rambling, to say the least. You, who began this thread with the words, ""I know by posting this i will get some very blunt answers and im perfectly fine with that." eventually got riled up enough to say, "I dont think i can think of one person that is as caddy as the people ive seen post on here thinking their shit dont stink. Im all for opinions, i have thick skin." You don't have a thick skin, an interest in diverse opinions, and you don't have $900 to spend on apps (and if you do, but just won't -- because you don't eat apps at cocktail hours -- don't admit it).

Here's the bottom line: If this is true, "I would guess people eat breakfast and lunch before attending a ceremony and reception so unless you eat like me once a day an empty stomach shouldnt be a problem...", then why did you even present this question? After summarily insulting quite a few neutral and well intentioned parties, you added this, "...but i do understand where you are coming from.I have the utmost respect for everyone who has commented on this thread and there isnt one post i made that says differently. I appreicate everyones opinion, does it mean i will take it? No i will not have a huge list of apps like gymrats and im perfectly fine with that because to ME that is a waste. It is not completely necessary. It will probably be nice but not necessary." Sure, they'll get to that sentiment right after they feel the impact of "...the people ive seen post on here thinking their shit dont stink." Connecting the phrases "utmost respect" and "their shit don't stink" hardly reflects "the utmost respect" when talking about the stinky shitters who responded to your thread.

Here's the deal, do it the right way, or do it your own way (none of us are attending your wedding, so we're not invested. We took you at your word, to our own detriment). It doesn't matter if a handful of guests don't partake of yours apps -- you offer it anyway. Watch the majority. You'll see why apps are served at a cocktail hour. You're not going to serve them...that's clear. However, if you believe you are somehow exempt from the wedding whispers that are as "caddy (if he/she is not being paid to lug around a golfer's bag, but instead is involved in "Where's the food?" conversations, he/she is not caddy. He/She is "catty") "...as the people ive seen post on here thinking their shit dont stink", then you are mistaken.

Your responses to the members of this forum were so offensive that I'm not going to share a wealth of wedding experience with you. Happy Fasting Cocktail Hour.

I absolutely adore when someone posts here to ask for advice, claims they have thick skin, but wants to bow out when they don't get the answers they want. Based off your responses, you already knew what you did, or I should say what you didn't want to do. So what was the true purpose of this post, when if majority rules, you'd be forking out that $900 for cheese and crackers?

ETA: punctuation.

Yes, absolutely. You have to have apps to be a good host. People will expect a snack before the reception festivities begin since dinner will likely not be served for awhile and they will be hungry after sitting through a ceremony. As PP have stated, they will also get pretty drunk and most likely very annoyed and hungry. They will definitely think you are being a bad host if you skip them. It's rude to not serve your guests appetizers. Either skip the cocktail hour entirely (and begin the reception dinner immediately following the ceremony) or shell out the money for the apps. It is a NECESSARY expense.

Side note: we had I think 3 different appetizer choices with enough for each guest to have 3-4 pieces (a total of 9-12 pieces per person) and they were ALL completely eaten before we arrived at the reception hall. So yes people will absolutely eat them and you absolutely need to serve them.

I'm hungry

@Rachel, you're one of my favorite people on the interwebs.