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purplekitten
Master October 2015

Anyone NOT writing their own vows?

purplekitten, on August 17, 2015 at 11:19 AM Posted in Planning 0 72

I didn't plan on it, but when I brought it up to my FH, he didn't realize that was an option. He thought you HAD to.

Is he right?

If he's not right, is it like, pretty much expected of you anyway?

SHOULD we write our own vows?

72 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs.Reyes2B, on August 20, 2015 at 11:39 AM
  • Mrs.T
    VIP February 2015
    Mrs.T ·
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    We just found ours online. I think as long as you find something that speaks to you, its all good.

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  • Christine
    Master October 2015
    Christine ·
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    We're not writing our own, we want to keep it traditional and say the vows that our parents, grandparents etc. said to each other :-)

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  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·
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    We're not. My fiancé kind of wanted to after attending a wedding last year where the couple read amazing vows/letters to each other before their formal vows but I'm kinda hesitant about doing that in front of people. I think the other couple had some professional help as well. Personally, I prefer traditional vows.

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  • mrs1780
    VIP September 2016
    mrs1780 ·
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    As of right now, we are not writing our own. I'd love to cause I feel like it'd take away some nerves, but FH doesn't want to.

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  • Princess Consuela
    Master November 2015
    Princess Consuela ·
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    In our Catholic church, we're not allowed to write our own. Not sure if it's like that in all Catholic churches though. FH really wanted to write our own, but I was sort of nervous about it, so I was happy to have an out.

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  • M
    Master July 2015
    m ·
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    DH insisted we do "repeat after me" vows. He didn't want to memorize, and reading in front of a large group of people freaks him out. We had two sentences each, and they were technically found online, but we kept getting compliments on them.

    Frankly, what we really want to say to each other, we say in private Smiley smile

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  • Mrs. Kassy
    Master June 2015
    Mrs. Kassy ·
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    We planned on it. But we procrastinated it up until the rehearsal dinner, when we realized we both would be happy with the traditional vows. We ended up doing the repeat-after-me type.

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  • sjd85
    Super October 2015
    sjd85 ·
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    We are doing traditional vows. FH would like to write his own, but he is much better with written word than I am. I can't put a sentimental thought to paper if I tried.

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  • Cat On a Hot Tin Roof
    VIP May 2016
    Cat On a Hot Tin Roof ·
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    We're using the traditional vows. I think that's what's expected from us, for those that know us. Your guests may expect something different from you and your FH, but certainly there is no rule or requirement for either.

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  • Barbara
    Master September 2014
    Barbara ·
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    No, you don't have to.

    We adapted the "I promise..." statements and ring vows that our officiant sent us, but we didn't come up with our own. Everything else was stressful enough, and we're not super public about our affection, so it didn't feel necessary at all to us.

    I don't think it's expected-- I think the traditional vows have stood the test of time, and there are other ways to make your ceremony personal without needing to become a poet.

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  • jomabago
    Super September 2017
    jomabago ·
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    We're not. I really want to, but I think I'd be way too nervous and afraid of not coming up with anything good lol. So we decided not to and we'll just write letters to each other (his idea :]).

    But Celia's mentioned doing 3 things you love about them and 3 things you promise to them. I think I might suggest that to my FH. It's simple, but cute.

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  • Jenn B
    Master September 2015
    Jenn B ·
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    We planned on writing our own- but after our pastor learned that i struggle with stage fright and nerves- he suggested sticking to traditional vows. I think he's right.

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  • OriginalKD
    Master December 2015
    OriginalKD ·
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    We are repeating as well. We are similar to M and her DH, what we really want to say is said in private.

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  • Andrea
    VIP September 2015
    Andrea ·
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    We're keeping it traditional and letting the priest provide them.

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  • LadyMonk
    Master September 2014
    LadyMonk ·
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    We didn't. To us the traditional vows said everything we could ever think of. They are not creative, but the wording used is powerful and all encompassing to what we wanted.

    As Barbara suggested, there are other ways to personalize your ceremony without writing vows Smiley smile

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  • purplekitten
    Master October 2015
    purplekitten ·
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    Hmmm. I consider myself an adequate writer. FH, though, I don't think has written anything that wasn't in Java or C# in the past decade.

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  • Mrs. Nicole
    Master May 2016
    Mrs. Nicole ·
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    Nope.

    I like to write sappy things to FH, but I want to keep that privately between us. FH isn't much of a writer so it'd probably kill him to have to do it haha

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  • Botty
    Super July 2016
    Botty ·
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    We're not writing our own vows because it's not part of a traditional (orthodox) Jewish ceremony. I have a feeling the rabbi would allow us if we asked but we are both really private and already don't like being the center of attention so we're not really even interested in writing our own vows. The topic hasn't even come up actually, we both just assumed and would prefer that we'll just say the traditional vow. Well, technically FH will say it since in a traditional ceremony only the man says something and it's just like... 3 or 4 words. I am going to ask if I can say something too actually but it will be something very very short, a few words, just to feel like we're more equal. Jewish ceremonies are short, that makes me happy Smiley smile

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  • Abby
    Expert June 2015
    Abby ·
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    We didn't write our own either. We used vows from his church's ceremony and my church's ceremony and meshed them together. We left all the personal and mushy stuff for our letters to each other before the ceremony. Smiley smile

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  • Tori
    VIP September 2015
    Tori ·
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    Nope.

    We are using ones our officiant suggested. They aren't the traditional but they relate to us & we are happy with them. FH is just not the overly romantic type to speak his feelings in front of everyone. I'm fine with it Smiley smile

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