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Beginner December 2019

Anyone have a different name for “bride’s personal attendant”?

Bailee, on February 12, 2019 at 5:04 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 54
I have two friends that are my personal attendants but I hate that name... anyone have an idea of something else I can call them on wedding programs & such?

*ive seen a lot of incredibly rude comments about personal attendants - I just want to make it known that these are two girls I have been close with for a long time but we have gone separate ways/moved away/etc so we are not as close as we used to be (my bridesmaids are mostly family) but i still want them to be involved. They agree with this decision as well as they don’t live as close & one of them is a single mom so she likes being involved but having less responsibility.

54 Comments

Latest activity by Olivia, on April 1, 2023 at 9:44 PM
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    Mim ·
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    I curious why you would ask a community that sees personal attendants as really rude for a different name?

    Just call them friends and treat them as VIPs, maybe ask them to do a reading or simply give them some flowers and a hug.
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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    I’m not exactly sure what a personal attendant is but in the south it’s common to have a house party which is a group of girls that are a step below bridesmaids. They usually hand our programs, manage the guestbook, etc.
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  • B
    Beginner December 2019
    Bailee ·
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    I asked because I figured there’d be a person or two that, instead of being judgey and rude, could just help a girl out.
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  • Brae
    VIP September 2019
    Brae ·
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    I've never heard of this. What's a personal attendant?
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  • JustKidding
    VIP April 2018
    JustKidding ·
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    I'm just going to agree with all of this.


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  • M
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    Mim ·
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    It's someone you don't want to honor as a bridesmaid but instead ask them to do chores on the wedding day that should be the responsibility of the host, venue coordinator, or paid day of coordinator. It's supposed to be an honor, I fail to see how it is.
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  • B
    Beginner December 2019
    Bailee ·
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    They aren’t being asked to do anything.. hence the reason I am trying to find a different day. They are wearing a nice dress, hanging out in the dressing room with us and sitting at the head table, drinking for free... I fail to see how that is anything less than an honor. Would you feel the same way about a man being asked to be an usher instead of a groomsman?
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  • Brae
    VIP September 2019
    Brae ·
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    Interesting. Thank you.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    All of this.
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  • M
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    Mim ·
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    Just call them friends
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  • Brae
    VIP September 2019
    Brae ·
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    All of those things sound like bridesmaids. I know you are not as close to them as your current bridesmaids, but if you want them involved the same, why not just have them as bridesmaids. Or I would have them do a reading, to make it a little different.
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  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
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    Bridal Assistants?

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  • J
    Savvy March 2021
    JENE' ·
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    I don't understand what's the difference between this description and the bridesmaid's description. I also don't understand why you don't just make them bridesmaids.
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  • Rayna
    Devoted July 2019
    Rayna ·
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    I know someone who had a lady in waiting. I thought it was bizarre and borderline rude but I guess the friend didn’t mind 🤷🏽‍♀️
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  • B
    Beginner December 2019
    Bailee ·
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    They don’t live close and completely understood it would be hard for dress shopping/fittings/other wedding plans. One of them is also currently pregnant and has a lot going on. Like I said.. no different than asking a guy to be an usher instead of a groomsman. It nothing they or anyone else in my party thought was rude and something that is quite common in my area. I made this post to ask for other names... that is all.
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  • Kristin
    Devoted June 2021
    Kristin ·
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    Bridal Assistants is the only thing I can think of.
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  • Kayla
    Dedicated October 2020
    Kayla ·
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    I don't understand why everyone is so judgey. I understand the whole still wanting them to be involved but aren't quite close enough to be in the wedding party and I think it's wonderful. you could call them your ladies in waiting, leading ladies or even friends of honor!
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  • Colleen
    Dedicated May 2020
    Colleen ·
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    I’ve never heard of such a thing! I would make them bridesmaids and leave it at that. If you have more girls than groomsmen it’ll all work out. I also don’t agree with ushers, the idea seems so outdated. If you care about someone and want them to stand with you call her a bridesmaid, if you care about someone but not enough for a bridesmaid spit, she is a guest at your wedding.
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  • Lauren
    Devoted October 2019
    Lauren ·
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    Call them something like your lady squad. Or squad goals or whatever people call their faux entourage. A squad. Bride squad.
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  • Shelby
    Dedicated April 2019
    Shelby ·
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    I like Lauren’s suggestion of bride squad and Kristen’s idea bridal assistant.
    I don’t think it rude it doesn’t sound like your being a diva or something INFACF it’s nice that you want a better name than “attendant” and that you want to include their names on the program.
    my best friend had a “mistress of ceremony” who helped coordinate timing and the ceremony.
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