Anyone has or had second thoughts on spending so much money on a wedding?

I feel the same way, except it's FH who saved up our budget money! I can't fathom spending it all on one day. My goal is to come in under budget as best as we can and the rest of the money will be applied to our honeymoon. So far, we're only at 1/3rd of our budget and have very few things left to actually put money on, so it makes me feel a little better about our budget!

Yes.... yes yes yes. I've thought about eloping a thousand times... after we already put the deposits down on a bunch of things. But everytime I think about what I really want I think that I really want an actual wedding. Even if it is DIY everything and "cheap."

Do whatever you feel is right in your heart. If you think that money could be better spent elsewhere than do it. You could always do JOP and have a big party afterward to save a lot of cash.

I feel the same way, I hate spending so much on 1 day but things cost what they cost I suppose and I keep going over what I have and I really don't want to cut photography, I wanted a nice venue, I need to feed people, etc. I'm being smart about how I'm spending it, so that makes me feel better. The money I have is from a life insurance policy I got when my dad passed away, and I've been saving it with this being one of the things I wanted to use it for. I

Sometimes I freak out about how much we are spending, but then I remind myself that his is as much about our families and friends as it is about us. Most of the places to cut money would be food and beverages, and would make our guests less comfortable. We could cut the guest list, which again would mean family and friends missing out. It's worth it to us to share the best day of our lives with everyone we love

YES! lol It's hard to spend that money. I have a hard time when I think of what else I could be using that money towards but FH also wants me to have my dream day. Its a once in a lifetime... FH and I kinda balance each other out with the spending lol but I def get where you're coming from.

BTW "DF" is (Dear Fiance) lol sorry.

Tiffany, yes, my FH says that if it was up to him, all of the money would go to a home, but he knows how much I'd like a wedding, especially after being together more than 9 yrs. So, he wants me to have that day as well.

Also, my mom says to just have a small wedding at a family member's house and with a lot of DIY stuff to save money. BUT, that's not what I want. If i'm gonna have it it's going to be how I want it, or just don't have it at all just have a little ceremony with no party and save the money.

OMG, how Im feeling as we speak smh

YES! Ours went from a nice trip to the virgin islands and getting hitched to 4k.... I can't imagine even spending 10

Ya! I can relate. When I got engaged everyone was like don't spend so much money on a wedding. Have a small cheap wedding then use all that extra to start your life but I have been telling everyone that I understand how crazy it sounds but I cannot live my life in regret just wishing that I had my dream wedding. I started going nuts with all the costs of things and just booking everything that I wanted left and right and now I'm going well I could have done this and gone there and done that but o well. I will stick to our plans and enjoy my dream wedding. I just don't like to think of the overall cost, it's nauseating! haha

After we put all the deposits down and parted with all that cash, it started to really hit us how much money it really is. We definitely started to have second thoughts but once you let go of the first (nonrefundable) chunk, it doesn't make sense to turn back. Even though the cost is overwhelming, I think it will be a perfect day and I can't wait to get married and celebrate with all our family and friends. Then when my crappy car starts making that clunking noise.........

If you feel it's not worth it, have a small ceremony then throw a party. Take even a quarter of what you were going to spend, get some BBQ, maybe a keg, and just celebrate your love. But if what you want is a more traditional wedding, then it may be worth it to splurge and have the big day of your dreams.

You can always do a small wedding and only spend half the budget. The other half would make for a nice trip. Only close family/friends. No elaborate decorations. Buffet style food. You can still get a nice dress and have a ceremony

LOL Brianna..

I gotta say, BBQ and beer sounds tempting!!!

If you don't want to spend the money then don't. DIY your wedding, make it smaller, have a backyard reception and just have a fun party! Then more of that money can go towards your honeymoon, vaca with the kiddos, or buying your dream house vs. a dream wedding that is only ONE day.

Yes!! We did! We were between 2 venues- we liked one slightly more, but we were bringing our own alcohol for that, and the other had a bar by the venue. We were given $20k by our parents so we would have used it all with either venue. Then, while we were deciding, I had sort of a panic attack- not a real one- just an attack of panic- a realization. I looove traveling, and FH had never been out of the country. I realized we had this HUGE sum of money that we probably wouldn't have until we are our parents age; why were we spending it on a party? So, we went to the venue that had a bar, and asked if we could do cash bar. They said sure, and we instantly saved more than $4000. Instant honeymoon fund! As for the rest of it- I still don't love spending that much money, but I remind myself that it's not technically my money- it's our parents, and they wanted a big party where they can see all of their friends and reliatives, and we can do it anyway we like. So, I justify it that way.

Also, I agree with @FutureMrsZottola. It gets really stressful when you mention to someone that you're getting married and that turns into them lecturing you on the cost of a wedding. Particularly when they've had their big wedding (or two, or three! true story). My MOH said shes just going to elope in a park. My cousin is having a destination wedding with just her parents. All of these things are great, and special, and probably cost less but are not what we want. And we've talked about our wedding for years and what we want so if we didn't do it now we probably would regret it later!

BUT! If they hadn't given us money for the wedding, we would be eloping or destination wedding it (with only extremely close family members).

Yes! My parents are paying for the main majority of things and I do feel like it is so much money. That being said, they are giving us the same amount as they gave my sister for her wedding and so even if we spent only a fraction of the budget, they would have given us the rest to be fair between my sister and I. We are just having a private ceremony and dinner and a huge reception the next day. The reception is more for my mom anyways so it works out in the end but if we were paying for it ourselves we would just have the private family ceremony and dinner. FH and I aren't big spenders and wouldn't want to pay for a party that is mainly for my family anyways.

I hear you. the total cost seems ridiculous, but I want to be able to look back with no regrets. With that said, I don't want to be totally irresponsible, so we are saving, taking out a low interest loan and being careful with costs to ensure it all doesn't go overboard.

Mayra,

It is your day but I do believe that you can have both money to save and your wedding that you want. I have always dreamed of being Married in Valley Forge Chapel in Valley Forge Pa since I was a little girl. I didn't get that chance with my first wedding and I swore if I married again it would be there no if's, and's or but's. With a price of 3500.00 for the chapel I knew I would have to cut corners in many other areas to stay in our 10,000. budget. We are using our tax returns to pay for the wedding. So with some adjustments of what we wanted and some DIY things we will be under budget as my parents shocked me to tell me they will be paying for my gown once again. OMG they are one in a million to me.

Think of what you want and the least amount of people you want to show up and then go for it within reason. You can always seem to find ways to cut corners!!