Anyone experienced a more awkward family wedding than this?

* The bride's father speaks no English. The groom's father speaks just enough English so that people try to slow their conversations down and simplify the words in a vain attempt to let him understand.

* The bride's parents and the groom's father are virulently homophobic. While the groom's father already knows NotFroofy and I are married, my nephew is just kind of hoping that the bride's parents won't figure out we have a relationship.

* My parents (alcoholic pedophile father, and mother who blames me for the fact that my father molested me) will be attending. I have no contact with my mother outside of family gatherings (the last one was in 2006), and deal with my father only by e-mail.

* My nephew is having to organize the entire wedding on his own, since the bride will be arriving with her parents from Malaysia only 8 days before the wedding.

* The happy couple does not get to go on a honeymoon, but will be sharing a two-bedroom apartment with her parents for the 3 weeks around the wedding.

So, can anyone top this one for awkwardness?

My DHs ex mil came to my wedding. That's all I got.

2d BRIDE FOR THE WIN!!!!

and that just sucks like all around. so sorry!

Please tell me this wedding at least has booze.

Nope. Got me there. I am totally against religious persecution and intolerance. People should be free to be who they are, what they wish to believe, and how they choose to live.

Not sure if you should decline or enthusiastically accept just to watch the shit show.

The awkwardness has been pretty much taken out of my life. My dumbass father and his fat wife are not invited, so it alleviates the drama and awkwardness. His father and sister, however, are invited. So there's that. Saw my father for the first time in about 14 years just in October at his mother/my grandmother's funeral. So yeah...there's that.

You know, this was just not a competition I really wanted to win!

@Shannon S.: Nope. Muslim wedding, no booze. The one positive of this is that it may cause my father to leave early.

OMG. this sounds like a recipe for disaster!

Take a flask. For sure.

I say RSVP yes, fill a flask or two and sit back and watch the show. It could be entertaining.

I'm literally just staring at the computer screen at work trying not to drop my jaw.

i have a cousin thats marrying a Muslim.. i couldnt tell you if its the bride or groom that is Muslim though. i'll have to ask my dad to check in on that situation and get back with you lol

Wooooww ... 2d Bride for the win!

Wow...do you have to go? I'd come up with an excuse and send a nice gift to not have to sit through all of that awkwardness. The most awkward wedding I've ever been to was for one of my best friends. He was very religious and his wife was very religious. I figured we'd be going to a regular religious wedding, nothing too terribly long, so I begged my FH to come and he did. We sat through the oddest and longest ceremony. My friend sang his wife down the aisle saying "Come to me my beloved. Let us become one." The ceremony was all about God and Revelations and not the couple and was basically a church service. I looked over at my FH and mouthed "Sorry!" Then my friend's mother said she couldn't wait for the children my friend was going to put in the wife's womb during her prayer...in front of everyone...Then everyone got to say an individual prayer and that part took forever. Then the reception was more prayer. Then two months later the wife was murdered, but that's a WHOLE other story.

Holy hell that's going to one interesting wedding. A few flasks might be necessary.

Melissa, I'm sorry about your friend's wife. I have to guiltily admit though, I want to hear the whole other story.

@2nd Bride - yes, totally awkward. I don't know if anyone can top that. Is the bride living in Malaysia? Why is it that she's not here now helping plan the wedding?

@Melissa, your story is plenty crazy too with that cliffhanger you left us!

@ELFie: The bride has always lived in Malaysia. While she and my nephew have visited back and forth, she was not allowed to move here permanently until she could get a fiancee visa. Now that she has one, she needs to get married within 90 days after she arrives here.

There is something wrong here. My friend's brother married a Muslim girl. She had a 2 day wedding, Muslim ceremony the night before, with the Imam coming to the house the next morning and then a non-denominational service that afternoon where they had vows.

My brother married outside our religion and he is currently a bad member in our church. Which means he can't be sponsor for a wedding or be a god parent but that's about it. It caused drama when they were planning their wedding.

@Denise: I think there are a few imams in this country who will marry a couple if one is not Muslim. But apparently, the Malaysian government would then not recognize the marriage, which means that if she ever visited Malaysia, she could be prosecuted for "adultery." (Yeah, I don't understand how you can be committing adultery if you're not recognized as married, either.)

O/T but, did you just tag someone 2d Bride?

Omg 2d Bride that might be the roughest wedding I've ever heard of. I actually had a dear dear friend marry a Muslim and she had to convert or else it wasn't gonna happen. (His family is SUPER conservative Pakistani Muslim.) They did the Muslim ceremony first and none of us were invited, then the next two days were an "american" wedding for her and the Muslim reception. His family dictated the terms of everything. She was "allowed" to wear a white dress to the american ceremony, but it was just a traditional Pakistani gown in white, not a wedding dress. They chose the flowers, the food, etc. (His family is super controlling and she's just been sucked away from us and her own family, lives near his family, etc. It's sad). To top it off, the wedding was on St. Patrick's day, and it was a dry wedding. It was terrible.

That being said, 2d you totally win - that wedding sounds insane. Just some friendly advice from personal experience, have a drink or two before you head to the wedding!