Anyone else's fiancé' not on board with the planning process?

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I think he slowly will! the people who arent paying should have no say in how much you pay! and honestly, that's AMAZING for a photographer! (you still want quality which alot of people dont understand!) im in the same boat of choosing vendors not because its the most money but because they fit our style, no matter what the cost is, obviously not trying to go for the priciest either!

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Exactly!!! I know we COULD do cheaper, but then that means working on the day of your wedding. Id rather spend a bit more and have the prep work done for me which means less stress on my part! I'm an MUA and have done makeup for countless bridal parties, and have seen one too many brides freaking out the day of because things weren't done!

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Wow that was intense.. I don't think we'll break up for having a 2 year engagement lol its not like I'm driving him crazy 24/7 with planning. I just want a venue and date early enough so I know we can afford the things we want (and have the Saturday evening date we want). Nothing wrong with getting as many quotes as possible in the mean time. didn't plan on booking every vendor this early wither. And trust me, with every vendor I'm reaching out to, the pandemic/covid question comes up and I get my answers from them. Also planning on dealing with reputable vendors who wont screw us over either.

View Quoted Comment I would tell him that you feel that way about what he's thinking. Don't tell him what he's thinking, just the signals you're getting. When I initially started planning my fiancee felt like I cared more about the wedding that spending time with him! But he saw how much passion I put into similar projects and expressed that he understood a bit more about how I go about things.

View Quoted Comment That’s how I am! Super passionate about everything I do and never will half ass anything! My theory is if i can’t do something full out, then why even bother!

YOURE NOT ALONE. We’ve been engaged for 3 weeks, just set a date, Ive been looking at venues , telling him we need to sit down and look at stuff and start looking at pricing. I feel like I’m wasting my time and that he only asked to shut me up 😭

Not at all! My fiancé is very hesitant to book anything because of Covid. We are also paying for a part of the wedding as well and he doesn’t want to be out the money if Covid spikes again. I understand what he is saying but also want to plan. It’s such a hard time to really plan anything ..

View Quoted Comment Girl you are way ahead than me! I got engaged back in March before quarantine, and all I could do was look at places online until recently! We’re still probably holding out til 2022 as a date! Want to have at least a venue though! But Definitely book the important stuff first, but enjoy the process! He will slowly come around, after some time I feel as though my fiancé will! Slowly but surely!

View Quoted Comment Totally understand with that as a concern! You can start getting ideas though! I’ve been on a free venue tours and the Covid/pandemic talk is a must with the places! See what they’ve find for their recent cancelled events and how they plan to handle a future (fingers crossed hopefully not) situation. Sad but necessary convo to have with any vendors now!

Yea my Mr. was like that but eventually got into and we ended up 3-4 hours into the late night printing of invites and getting the wax seal. We are very no fret no fuss and did the diy minimony BEFORE the covid madness/trend. Saved us thousands of dollars

View Quoted Comment That’s great you were able to do everything before Covid!

Yes mines is not he said he will be ther

View Quoted Comment Hey I mean as long as he shows up, in the end right!! But I’m sure as you start to plan ideas though, he’ll want to have some input. Maybe show him a picture of a horrible tux that you “choose” or a strange menu item he would not like and see what he says about those! lol maybe he’ll want some say then!

You are not alone. My fiance is not into planning AT ALL. And it is really annoying. I went to meet a DJ on Friday and my bestfriend ended up coming with me. Today he had to come with me to meet that same DJ to give a deposit and officially book him and the DJ asked him if he had any questions and he was like No, All I need to know is the final price for everything and what time I have to show up to say I do smh I guess the good thing about it is he won't tell me no to anything I want for the wedding, hey I'm trying to find a bright side to him not being into planning lol

View Quoted Comment At least he’s ready to pay for the things!! That’s a bright side! I’ve have to do endless reaearch, present quotes, and MAYBE he likes the idea! But since then, he’s been more open to having discussions because he knows how important it is for me to have a memorable day, and I think he understands that I fully am doing the proper research, because I know where and what to look for. He trusts me to make the calls but wants ALL the details before he helps with the $$$

I had the same problem! My FH seemed like he was uninterested and still does at times. It is frustrating and even lonely feeling like you have the make decisions alone but minor details just aren't their thing. I've found that if I give him options he's more inclined to give an opinion and even has better ideas than I came up with. You are right, a venue is the first step. Communication is key! Maybe figure out how much he would like for you guys to spend on a venue and start a budget. Its okay to explain how you feel because sometimes men don't realize how much things impact us until we tell them. Once you guys decide on a budget, research venues and start taking tours together. Tours are what motivated my FH and it was a blast! Enjoy this short season of engagement! Also, if you have friends or family that have property you could use for the wedding you want, then take advantage of that! State parks are another cheap option! Think outside the box! My FH and I are on a tight budget and one thing I never realized was how many connections we had. Think about family or a friends family member that might make cakes, or has a photography business, maybe someone you know loves to cook and would be honored to help with catering. Most people are more than happy to do these services as a wedding gift or for a cheaper price. PLUS it makes the day that much more sentimental. I hope this helps!

View Quoted Comment Thanks Julie! It was definitely an emotional struggle for me because I kept thinking, “aren’t you excited?!”. We are planning for May 1, 2021 so we’re right in the thick of vendor bookings right now. And, I can now confirm that each vendor is a little bit easier haha. It’s good that you have so much time in front of you! 2021 is crazy - everyone is rescheduling to then so vendors are flying off the availability lists

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Totally get where you're coming from! it sucks that i have such a different taste than most brides. I am trying everything in my power to not have an outside wedding, which so many brides want and which i know is so much cheaper (Florida weather sucks) and since I'm a makeup artist, I have seen far too many brides freaking out about weather on the day of. I also don't like the idea of anyone invited to the wedding having to work at my wedding. I know these things will end up costing more, but I'm ready to cut costs on things like florals, décor, invites, and even my dress if I can find one I like that's affordable! I know venue, catering, and open bar are musts for us, (lots of service industry people will be attending, and also part of my background as well) and I know good quality will come at a pretty penny... but what can you do?!

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Your date will be here before you know it! SO EXCITING! and i know so many 2020 brides are rescheduling for 2021 which is why I want to wait at least until 2022! I hope we book out venue within the next month or so! (ideally before the end of the year!) if you need anyone to obsess over details with you, im more than happy to! ive found that the people i love talking to most about weddings are other brides, because they get just as excited as me lol

My fiancee felt like we were planning way too early, while I knew the crazy mess 2021 was about to be with all of the COVID rescheduling so I wanted to get a jump on things. He felt really distant and wasn't doing too much research until I started telling him that a lot of the vendors I had looked at weren't available any more, even over a year out! So, I think that sort of snapped him into reality and now he's become a lot more involved. Maybe on some level he isn't as serious about planning yet because he feels like it's so far away and as time goes on will become more involved? Hoping he will!