Anyone doing Stag & Doe/Jack & Jill?

Depends on your circle of friends. There's no way this would fly with anyone I know, but they are common in parts of Canada and a few places in the US. If this is NOT the norm in your social circle, I'd stay away from it. That will give you more insight than what any of us think about it.

We did, depends where you are from. They are popular here, some places they are tacky to have here it's common.

We made about $2,300 it ended up paying our bar tab for our wedding. We got really great raffle prizes donated to it, had it at a bar and tickets were $10 each. The band including my DH played for free, so basically the $10 people paid to get into the bar they otherwise would have paid to get into a club. The bar (my DH work) let regulars in as well cause it's still a public place, and so basically people bought drinks like a regular bar night (drink $ didn't go to us, but we didn't pay to rent a hall, or pay for booze or music) and we just profited off door and raffle's.

We had one and we probabaly had about 85 people show up...after our expenses we made $3000. Same as mrs smith, we asked around and had prizes donated... i just used a good stereo and my ipod for music which went over really well. We profited $1 on evry drink sold. Had 2 or 3 games, a 50/50 draw annd 5 door prizes.

I agree with reenski though...if its not the norm dont do it...i posted about it once here and got such negative comments since a stag and doe is really only common in a few areas.

Yea I know it's a geographical thing....I thought it'd be a good way for all of my friends together who dont normally get to hang out just for fun that often. Just curious how many have done it

What is a Stag & Doe? Never heard of it before.

I absolutely HATE the idea of them. I've never been to one and didn't even know what one was until coming on here. I think it's rude to ask other people to pay for your wedding. I guess it's a little different if you do it the way WasSoon2BMrsSmith did it--where they pay a relatively small amount to get into a bar. But other ones I've heard about just make my skin crawl. And I don't know about inviting people who you aren't going to invite to the wedding. That seems weird to me. Maybe do an engagement type party with your friends who you don't get to see often? I bet some will give gifts/money anyway. But I'm from an area where these are virtually unheard of, so I guess if it's common in your area or your circle, then it would be more acceptable.

So you just want to have an event for all your friends to show up to? I mean, I had a co-ed wedding shower with a bunch of our friends. But I wouldn't advise inviting people to a shower for a wedding they aren't invited to.

If a J&J as a fundraising event is NOT the norm with these friends, don't do it. If I had a friend come out of nowhere with something like this, I'd think they're out of their mind and rude to want me to help them pay for their wedding to which I'm not invited. That's why the social norms of where you and and your social circle is the most important part of deciding if you should or shouldn't do this.

My sister and her husband started out the night for their bachelors and then met up later.

I've never been to a co-ed shower but a co-worker of mine says she had one.

But a fundraiser? Tacky as all getup.

For anyone who doesn't know what it is, basically it's just a big party to celebrate, in some places you don't even need to know the bride and groom to go. Basically you pay for a ticket to get in, $5-$10, then they just pay for drinks or whatever. Or you can do the bar idea too

As far as I see it, it isn't pleading for money, we all ask for money as gifts anyways? and people do dollar dances, or honeymoon fund jars. Atleast people get to have fun at a "non wedding event" this way

People that aren't invited aren't asked for gifts, not can they participate in dollar dances or honeymoon jars, because they aren't invited to the wedding.

It sounds like this is NOT the norm in your circle. You'll do what you want, but I do want to warn that you are risking having these friends think ill of you because you're asking them to essentially donate to something they cannot be a part of. Not to mention, if it's not the norm in your circle, it's not nearly as likely to be successful, as your circle may view it as tacky as some of the ladies on here do.

You can have a co-ed engagement party at Dave and Buster's that doesn't ask them to pay for a ticket in, with that money going to YOU. You can invite them out to a comedy club or a bar or whatever without them giving YOU money.

Like almost everyone else, if it's common in your area or if your family does it. Go ahead. If not, just don't register anywhere or set up a honeyfund.

I see why it can come across tacky Just Reenski, but it's known within our group that we all don't get invited to eachother's weddings because we all live so far apart, and we aren't going to fly that far because we all travel so much for competitions. But they have been wanting to do some kind of get together or something for us, but showers are way to formal and "wedding-y" for this group. And I'm not dead set on this idea either, just trying to get idea's of how common it is, and how popular it was for people who have had one.