Any of you upgraded engagmemt ring and wedding bands before the church wedding?

He didn't buy it for me. We bought it together. We've shared a bank account for 2 years and we paid cash for it. If I had to actually figure out who's money it was I would say it was more mine than his because I make more. Not saying it has zero sentimental value but I'm sure I would feel differently if he had picked it out, saved for it, etc. He basically put it on my finger. That's about it. Everyone is different. I'm just trying to give a different perspective.

We have discussed upgrading mine one day or even putting a different stone in it. However, I don't see that happening. I feel like, from a practical standpoint, its spending money on something we've already spent money on. That just isn't something we would do, even with extra money laying around.

Now, if you want to upgrade your ring, go for it. That's a decision that you and your husband have to make. It's not my money, so I couldn't care less. It sounds like you need to take a look at your finances though and make sure this is feasible.

Okay I guess unpopular opinion here but my wedding band is a $10 band from etsy.

At some point I'd like to upgrade it.

We can't always afford all the things we want right at that moment so sometimes we have to wait.

I guess I don't get why OP is catching heat for this...

This statement right here: "I dont just think that my enagagement ring has a tiny dimond on it. I kind would like a bigger dimond on my finger thats all i guess"

I think that if you want a bigger diamond, then you should purchase it yourself.

I guess it depends why you want to upgrade. Is it because you don't think the ring he got you is good enough or because you don't like it? Or is he suggesting the upgrade. I think that makes all the difference.

For example, we will be upgrading my center stone for a diamond with a better clarity BUT my FH is adamant about doing this. The diamond I currently have has an inclusion that you can see with the naked eye if you look closely enough. To me it's fine, myself or no one else would notice unless you inspect but fh said that when the diamond was shined up at the store it wasn't noticeable at all but after it's been worn and gets dirty it's a little more noticeable which he is not OK with. I've insisted that it's fine because I really don't mind but his view on it is that he didn't pay X amount of money to have a diamond with a noticeable scratch, he'd rather pay a little more for a clearer diamond. We would only be switching out the center stone, not the entire ring and the size of the diamond will remain the same too. He simply wants a diamond without a noticeable scratch. I wouldn't have suggested the upgrade myself. I'd be content with whatever he chose for me.

I have no problem with upgrading rings. People are usually in different places in life after they've been married for a while than they were when they got engaged. Granted, I don't get why you're doing it now. It sounds like your engagement wasn't too long ago.

I had a friend who upgraded her ring, but instead of a whole new diamond, she took the diamond her husband gave her and had it incorporated into her new ring. She had a larger diamond in the middle with the diamond from her husband on the side and a matching one on the other side. You could do something like that so you still have what he gave you.

Also, like another poster said, if you had a courthouse wedding, what you're planning now is a vow renewal, not a church wedding.

@Kels I'm personally just not a fan of upgrading, but I'm not gonna turn my nose up at someone that wants to do it. It just doesn't float my boat. The issue is that OP sounds kind of ungrateful because of the sentence that Katie pointed out. That's why she's getting some crap for it.

I did not change my actual ring (because I love it) we just had the center diamond bigger which I absolutely love it even more. I am sentimental so I wouldn't want to change my entire ring. I say if you want it, do it!

"I kind of would like a bigger diamond on my finger" that's my problem. It's not the upgrading. It's the reasoning.

So fh and I are students, he gets his bachelor's in may and starts teaching in fall, I get my bachelor's next December then move on to law school. So I adore my ring,I couldn't have picked out a better one myself! He put all the money he possibly could into it, and I love and appreciate him and the ring. With that said, this morning he apologized to me because he said he wanted to buy me a bigger diamond and couldn't afford it. I told him not to think of it like that, I love my ring and I am so thankful for it. Maybe after I'm a lawyer for several years I'll want to upgrade- but that's not likely. I love this ring and see no reason to ever upgrade.

Why do you want to upgrade so soon? That seems very unappreciative of him.

God my FH would be upset if I even suggested upgrading my engagement ring. I think all the guys I know would be actually. My guy friends and especially my FH spent a lot of time and effort to get the engagement rings that they take pride in them. Even if your FH might not vocalize that he's hurt, he most likely will be. Stop thinking of something as idiotic as a diamond size. That's such a dumb reason to hurt someone's feelings.

@keri :

Meh it's the Internet... We all know it's next to impossible to always be on point with expressing yourself and explaining all the backstory.

So fh and I are students, he gets his bachelor's in may and starts teaching in fall, I get my bachelor's next December then move on to law school. So I adore my ring,I couldn't have picked out a better one myself! He put all the money he possibly could into it, and I love and appreciate him and the ring. With that said, this morning he apologized to me because he said he wanted to buy me a bigger diamond and couldn't afford it. I told him not to think of it like that, I love my ring and I am so thankful for it. Maybe after I'm a lawyer for several years I'll want to upgrade- but that's not likely. I love this ring and see no reason to ever upgrade.

Why do you want to upgrade so soon? That seems very unappreciative of him.

I'm not a fan of upgrades. The ring is not a status symbol. It is a sign of the love and affection that your DH/FH has for you. It makes me sad that OP wants a bigger diamond just because. I know my DH would be offended if I asked for an upgrade. The size of the ring isn't what matters; it's the thought behind it and what it symbolizes.

I personally would never do that. I feel like upgrading it won't have a sentimental value behind your new engagement ring & bands. Yes it might be prettier but it won't be as special or mean as much as the first one your fh gave you. But that's just how I see it. Do what makes you & fh happy. I just know I would never do that.

Even if you are "in a different place in your life" i.e. Have more money now, I still think it's weird to upgrade an e-ring. It's like you're trying to erase your past. That ring was bought during a time in your life when your love was triumphing over hardship. Why would you want to erase that?

"Even if you are "in a different place in your life" i.e. Have more money now, I still think it's weird to upgrade an e-ring. It's like you're trying to erase your past. That ring was bought during a time in your life when your love was triumphing over hardship. Why would you want to erase that?"

It has nothing to do with erasing the past and upgrading does not necessarily mean a brand new ring. You can enhance your current ring if you want to. It's not for everyone and that's understandable, but I don't think people who want to do it should be criticized for it either. To each their own.

I think it's totally both of your decisions. As long as you are both (keyword both) ok with this, there isn't a big deal to it. My sister did this and I didn't think a thing of it

I think it's fine to upgrade it