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Savvy August 2017

Any of you upgraded engagmemt ring and wedding bands before the church wedding?

Barbara, on October 25, 2016 at 5:09 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 50

Hey! So i was thinking to upgrade my engagmemt ring and wedding band that we exchanged at the court wedding. Did you ever do that? Or what are your thoughts about it?

50 Comments

Latest activity by Holly, on October 26, 2016 at 3:03 PM
  • OriginalKD
    Master December 2015
    OriginalKD ·
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    I don't know why you would

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  • B
    Savvy August 2017
    Barbara ·
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    I dont just think that my enagagement ring has a tiny dimond on it. I kind would like a bigger dimond on my finger thats all i guess

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  • Shelly
    Devoted October 2017
    Shelly ·
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    If you've already had a wedding at the courthouse then the shindig at the church is a vow renewal. Also maybe that tiny diamond was all your husband could afford at the time but still wanted it to be special.

    Although if he is fine with getting you an entirely different, bigger diamond, whatev! Go for it

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  • Mrs.KatieK
    Master September 2016
    Mrs.KatieK ·
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    You're being flippant about the ring that your FH bought for you, just because it's "not big enough."

    He probably spent a lot of time picking out that ring, and now you're basically telling him that it isn't good enough.

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  • Jaimee
    Master October 2019
    Jaimee ·
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    I'd also like to say that what Mrs.KatieK just said isn't rude. She's tell you her thoughts on it, as I did in the other thread, before you hid it.

    No one is calling you rude; they are calling your idea rude. You asked for our thoughts on it and we told you.

    Like I suggested before, perhaps your husband will upgrade your ring over the course of your wedding anniversaries. I think that's quite common for couples to do throughout the course of married life.

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  • Junebug
    Expert June 2017
    Junebug ·
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    You might hurt his feelings and offend his family if you do that. By the time you get engaged, you both should know what to expect as far as what to spend on a ring. You seem disappointed.

    Why not upgrade after you get married? Or buy a large diamond band? I mean, is this a real issue?

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  • OriginalKD
    Master December 2015
    OriginalKD ·
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    Can you and your husband afford it? How big of a stone do you want?

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  • Mrs.KatieK
    Master September 2016
    Mrs.KatieK ·
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    @Junebug - I think OP and her DH are already married...

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  • NextMrsD
    Super November 2016
    NextMrsD ·
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    How long have you been married? Lots of people do it after they have been married a while and able to afford something different.

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  • The Trap Selena
    Master March 2016
    The Trap Selena ·
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    I don't deny that it's a common thing but I'm honestly not crazy about ring upgrading. I can't imagine changing/replacing the rings that he got down on one knee with and we said "I do" with (unless they're stolen or irreparably damaged).

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  • Alisha
    Super October 2018
    Alisha ·
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    Maybe this isn't the case for everyone, but to me, the engagement ring and wedding band are important and sentimental. The ring he chose when he asked you to spend your lives together, and the ring you exchanged on the day you said "I do." I could see maybe getting an additional ring on your 10th or 50th anniversary or whatever, but I can't imagine trading mine in like a car!

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  • Mrs.KatieK
    Master September 2016
    Mrs.KatieK ·
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    I know DH spent a lot of time picking out my e-ring (and he did it all by himself!) and I just couldn't imagine telling him that I wanted a bigger diamond. I think that he would just be crushed. That being said, we did have a discussion on buying me a different band when the time comes. I chose a simple band that was within our budget. And by "when the time comes," I mean a significant anniversary. Also, if this did happen I would probably wear all 3 rings together. I would never trade my wedding band for anything else.

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  • Junebug
    Expert June 2017
    Junebug ·
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    Uh, ok. Oops, already married now, with a wedding date in 2017. Got it.

    Making grand assumptions here, I'm thinking you're holding off on the "wedding" because you don't have the cash right now to pay for it. If so, maybe skip the ring upgrade.

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    I think every situation is different. FH and I decided to get married and went and bought a ring. He did propose with it but it was a pretty unthoughtful proposal. I love my ring but there's not a lot of sentimental value to it. Maybe OP and her H had a similar situation. Maybe they bought the tiny diamond and now have come into some money. As long as your FH isn't hurt I think it's fine to upgrade. I would love a bigger diamond.

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  • Dena
    Master April 2017
    Dena ·
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    I agree, I think rings are sentimental for that reason. If all he could afford at the time is tarnished I can see wanting to upgrade if you're in a better financial situation. If this was the case, I get it, but if it's just for a bigger diamond, sorry, I think it's for the wrong reasons.

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  • LadyPearl
    VIP November 2016
    LadyPearl ·
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    What you're planning to do isn't unheard of. Personally, I'm not a fan of upgrading rings. The rings we exchange on our wedding day will be the only rings we wear. Ever. It's a personal decision so do what feels right to you.

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  • Melissa
    Master March 2018
    Melissa ·
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    Fh would be crushed if I told him the ring he got me wasn't good enough. I would never. If he decided one day way down the line he was upgrading me, that's on him. Never will I ever tell him what he got when he told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me isn't enough. And I don't think you should either.

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  • The Trap Selena
    Master March 2016
    The Trap Selena ·
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    @EW if he couldn't afford a bigger ring and we later came into more money, I would say we can use that money to go on a nice trip that we couldn't have before to celebrate us building that life together...to celebrate our success as a couple. Or like @Katie said, buy an additional band to celebrate an anniversary. I don't see how you can have zero sentiment towards the ring that he bought for you.

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  • K.M.
    Master September 2018
    K.M. ·
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    I love my ring. It is so special to me and FH. I can't imagine ever "upgrading". I love it and along with my wedding band, they will be the only rings I will ever want or wear.

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  • OriginalKD
    Master December 2015
    OriginalKD ·
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    OP posts and ghosts. Never seen that before *side eye*

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