Any honeymoon regrets??

I came to this post planning to say something snarky about how I'd probably regret spending more time on the internet than with my new husband, but then I read the scenario and felt like an ass, haha. First, congrats! Second, you're right, it doesn't really sound like a honeymoon at all and I can totally see why you're disappointed. Maybe take a long weekend trip this fall, just the two of you? Also, have you expressed to your husband that you're feeling this way? It doesn't sound like he is making an effort to spend alone time with you (I'd feel sort of ragey if FH was playing poker with his buddies on our honeymoon than spending time with me).

Totally understand your frustration, I think I would feel the same way. I would plan a weekend away like JP AP suggested for the two of you and just let this be a kinda weird trip with friends after your wedding. Sounds like you guys need a little trip just the two of you to relax from this trip!

The only issues we had with our honeymoon was that 1) a hurricane hit and we couldn't do the sailing trip we planned but whatever and 2) one day we decided to check out a more secluded beach and after laying out reading books for about 30 minutes I turned around to find a local man masturbating while watching me. He had positioned himself in such a way that my husband couldn't see him and he also had a machete. Fucking terrifying. But we survived and it was still a nice trip. Probably won't be heading back to that area but still, it was nice.

That is the exact reason why I don't really want a DW. I'm so sorry, pp made a great suggestion of taking a small trip just the two of you.

Also, rofl holy crap, @Jeanne.

@Jeanne OMG thats horrifying (the man at the beach), I guess staying with the crowd was warranted in that situation.

OP... yea that doesn't sound fun at all. Any other vaca but a HM I like to have another couple or two with me and FH, bc FH is a late night person who will sleep in while on vacation I like to go out, but still get a full nights rest for a full day the next day. So its nice if he has another guy he can chill with to late in the night/morning and talk to about guy stuff. But on a HM. No I just want to relax and enjoy each other.

Jeanne wtf?? Where did you go?

Jeanne where in the world were you!?!

That is annoying OP. FH and I originally were going to do something kind of similar to you (invite a few friends/visit a few friends on our HM - we wanted to go to Australia where my sis is studying, NZ where we have friends and then take a cruise in French Polynesia with my bestie and her BF). I guess fortunately we couldn't afford that trip, so now were just doing the two of us in St. Lucia, and honestly I'm kinda happy about that. We're really social so I'm sure we'll make friends while we're down there, but we won't be obligated to hang out with anyone if we don't have to.

I'd go with Jeanne's suggestion and plan a weekend away sometime soon just the two of you.

ALSO Jeanne WTF?? That is crazy. And masturbating with a machete sounds somewhat risky.

That sucks, I'd be pissed as well if I went on a HM and didn't have much time alone with my husband. Like others have suggested, you should go for a long weekend trip with just your husband to make up for it. ... and I'd also be super pissed that he spent so much time with his buddies playing poker.

For my honeymoon my husband and I went to Disney World. My regret is not getting one more day pass to the parks. We realised later that we wanted to go to Animal Kingdom as well, but didn't have another day pass to go. But at the same time our feet were soooo sore from all the walking that we are also glad that we didn't go walk around another park. lol We're planning on going back when we have kids so then we can do all the things we didn't get to do during the honeymoon.

I wouldn't be too keen on the family and friends HM. I hope you guys can take a weekend trip just for yourselves this fall.

@Jeanne - OMG that would be terrifying! Plus disgusting. Did you just wait till he left to move or tell your FH? Where did you guys travel to?

I'll make another thread about it, I don't think the details are helpful to Mrs. McD's situation.

I would be pissed, but I think you need to take a deep breath and realize you can't change anything at this point beyond spending this last day together. Explain that you need this last day just for the two of you. Then either tonight or a couple days after you get back bring up planning a trip just for the two of you. Sorry this happened to you.

Does he know how you're feeling?

OP- First, congrats!! Second, I'm sorry your HM wasn't quite what you expected. I would have been a little disappointed as well. We're having a DW and HM on the same island, only 20 guests are coming to our DW and our HM destination (villa) is a secret from everyone else. They know ahead of time that the day after the wedding we are virtually not on the island anymore. I'm afraid we might run into people when sight seeing, but just hoping it doesn't happen. If so, oh well! There will be no dinners and tourist-y stuff with our guests after the wedding.

I also second taking another trip this Fall, just the two of you and count that as a HM possibly.

You should have left a few days earlier and went to another hotel or resort in the area.

Super helpful, Danielle.

First- @Jeanne that is terrifying. Where did you go? Scary.

Second- My only real regret is that it was so short. I hate my job- and one of the reasons is our HR policies- which would no allow me to have more time off.

Third- I'm sorry your HM wasn't more romantic- or at least secluded.

Unfortunately, it is what it is. I couldn't stay as long as I wanted- you invited to many people (or not enough to Irish exit properly). The only options you have now are to plan another vacation again soon... go on long weekends.... just get some time for yourselves. But I will say that even if you hadn't invited other along with you- you might have found other friends at your destination that would have kept DH up late playing poker and separating you. Make sure you let him know how you were feeling about this trip before you plan another one- so you don't keep repeating the same mistake.

I'm so sorry OP, I too agree that this trip was a "Celebration of our Wedding Trip" and surly you two need some husband and wife time. However on the sunny side up.... I'm glad you were able to have this time with friends and family because life really is to short. On that note, I read to often that people who have DW don't have any HM time because of family and friends are at the destination with them, and / or feeling guilty for having people travel to their DW all to be alone the rest of the week after the ceremony, so to avoid this, We are planning a DW to Maui as most of you know. Our Ceremony is two days after we arrive followed by a reception, We are hosting three events leading up to the wedding ceremony, after Sunday (wedding day), the trip opens up for "family vacation" because our guest took time off of work, and school to join us in Maui, they all deserve their own family vacation time too with out feeling obligated to be connected all the rest of the week, the following Friday our kiddos fly home with the Grandparents, and we fly to the Big Island for our honeymoon. When planning our wedding we really wanted an intimate ceremony (going on 9 years together next month) and a bad ass vacation/honeymoon. It was hard to not opt for the traditional wedding and miss out on the bridal party and things, but this fits us a whole lot better.

I say find what works for you. OP - You seem to be a bright girl. When you get back...Plan a little get-a-way with your new hubby! or a Staycation unplugged.

We had a DW in Hawaii and a mini-moon for a few days after. DH is from Hawaii so we spent most of the mini-moon with his family and friends because we don't see them often. I was kind of upset that I only got one night alone with him but I understand that he never gets to see his friends or family. Hopefully we can take a trip later with just the two of us. I would suggest (as others did) that you try to do the same.

Aww i feel like my FH would have done the same. your FH might not have realized how much time he's spending with his friends. Try asking him to just hang out the rest of the time with you alone. but like everyone else said maybe go on a weekend trip just the two of you later.

Please do speak to DH, even though the moment has passed-- that he was playing poker while you were in bed wishing he was there says you two have vastly different expectations and need help communicating about them. If something similar comes up, I can guarantee you will be 100x angrier because you've already had this experience.

@OP, I'm so sorry, that doesn't sound much like a honeymoon, I would have tried to schedule a few activities alone, but hind sight is always 20/20. Hopefully you can do a romantic weekend or an awesome 1-year anniversary.

You probably saw the post about my honeymoon and know it wasn't great. I cut myself really deep on my thumb and broke my thumb and had to make an emergency trip back to the main island of Tahiti (we were on Bora Bora) and I had my very first surgery. I was so nervous and in so much pain. I've never had general anesthesia so I was really scared. It was definitely a stressful honeymoon because even before the accident the weather was kind of unusually crappy so we had to move tours around to different days and then after the accident we had to adjust everything to figure out how to change our tours. The concierge at all the hotels we stayed at on 3 different islands knew us well because of such a bizarre situation and we had them helping us re-book things. It was not nearly as relaxing as it should have been.