Announcing dress code?

Black tie optional doesn't exist. Take some time and actually learn what black tie actually means. It also means way more than just simply dress code. If you don't know what black tie means, do us al a favor and please do not put that or "black tie optional" on your invites.

Thanks you guys, I'll just let it be!

The formality of your invitation and wording, the reception location/time, and the ceremony venue will determine the dress code of your event (not you). That being said, you can make a subtle suggesion on the website.

Wait where did she mention it isn't black tie?

I have attended many high brow weddings that have included black or white tie on the engraved/letter pressed invitations.

Once upon a time when wedding websites didn't exist dress code was included.

I don't see any issue.

Black tie optional is not a "thing". IF you are having an actual Black Tie event, this means you have: white glove service, top shelf alcohol, a band, 5-7 course meal, passed hors d'oeurves, etc, etc. If you do not have these things, it's not Black Tie, and you do not put it on your invites.

Black tie does not mean white glove service. I think you are confusing black and white tie attire codes with the actual event standards.

White tie is tux with tails for men and gala attire for females and is typically white glove service with state and presidential dinners, galas and royalty events. Some 2% weddings pull this off too.

Black tie events don't have to have that many courses, bands etc.

I'm not sure where people get that it's rude to put dress code on the invitation. Practically all invitations I'd ever received from friends and family told me how formal or non-formal to dress. Besides "black tie" there are several other types of dress you can list. There's Casual Attire, Cocktail Attire, Formal Attire, Semi-Formal Attire, Beach Formal, etc. There's also Black Tie optional, which indicates that your wedding will be a very formal event, but men do not necessarily have to wear a tux and ladies can chose between full length and cocktail dresses. I personally think it's helpful to guests to put the dress code on the invitations because then they do not have to second guess what to where or feel uncomfortable if they are under or over dressed at the wedding.

I guess the difference of opinions is why I'm asking. When I look online, I didn't really find anyone that said it was rude. Like theknot, and invitation websites I've heard of it being rude and it feels pushy.

I honestly feel that they are acceptable provided they match the tone of the event. I imagine much of the annoyance comes from those who have attended events that have a major mismatch in attire and service.

For example don't ask guests to rent or buy attire for an event where they have to buy their own alcohol or that someone's grandmother cooked the bbq food.

I know I appreciate it when the engaged couple lets us know how they expect to dress for their event. When my FH and I were just dating, we went to one of his friends wedding that was listed Black Tie optional and he neglected to tell me until I walked into the cocktail hour. He was wearing a suit and jacket and so fit in with the guys, but my dress barely met cocktail status. I felt quite embarrassed for some time. Nothing that reassurance from FH and a few gin and tonics couldn't cure, but I really wish I had been able to see the invitation before we went.

I'm just letting you know the etiquette rules. I don't care what you do. Anyone who has ever been to a black tie or white tie event knows not to put "black tie optional" on the invite. Black or white tie merely tells the invitee what level of service the host is planning. Black tie optional technically means that you'll think about hosting people well, and it's your own option as the B and G. Which is ridiculous.

ETA: if you're using "black tie optional" as a buzzword to make your guests dress fancy to you buffet dinner at the community centre, that even more ridiculous. (There's nothing wrong with buffet dinners but they're not black tie).

@Leah: Pick up any etiquette book, and it will tell you it's rude to tell your guests how to dress with the exception of TRUE black or white tie events, which the vast majority of people seeking help on a wedding forum are very unlikely to be having.

@Pam: There are extremely high standards associated with black tie as well, though it is typically just a step down from white tie.

Black tie attire and service go hand in hand, why in the world would you request black tie attire (or white tie) without having that level of service. So no confusion, it's simply the fact that if you're demanding that guests come dressed to black or white tie dress code, you'd better be having a black or white tie affair. Otherwise, stating a dress code is considered rude, etiquette-wise.

My wedding isn't black or white tie, so I wouldn't put either on my invites as a "buzz word". Some people may really know what that means and be disappointed that I'm not giving that kind of wedding.