Announcing dress code?

Nothing on the invitation, that's a no-no! Mention something discreetly on the website, like "formal attire" but leave it at that - the invitation should set the tone and hopefully people will take a hint. You're right that it sounds pushy. Those that get it will feel offended and those that don't get it, will never get it.

Etiquette says you should expect adults to be able to dress themselves accordingly.

But. If you are truly worried about it and know this is something your family frequently does, I say either spread it by word of mouth, and put it on your website. Or just bite the bullet and put it on your invites if you really feel it's necessary.

No, you cannot tell adults what to wear. It's rude. Since you're getting married on NYE I'm sure most people will be dressed up anyways

@Melissa , Your avatar makes me laugh every time I see it

Hahahahha I changed it after an especially annoying day of honey funds and other tacky shit. Chloe seems so fitting lmao

Sorry but you have to trust adults to be adults here. You can't dictate how people dress. It's a reflection on them, not on you, and the people that will be in most of your photos such as the family pics will know how specifically you want them to dress. It's annoying, but it's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme.

Our ceremony was in a Catholic Church and my FSIL still rocked a crotch short club dress with a tiny shoulder cover up. Some people just have their own idea of formal. Try not to over think it. It will be the last thing on your mind on the big day.

It would probably come off as pushy to put it on the invites and chances are that the guests its aimed at would know its aimed at them if they are repeat offenders of this. I think that if your Mom is really worried/bothered about maybe just tell her that you can't really put it on her invites but if she wants to spread the word that this is a formal event that she can feel free to. At least that way it's on her since she's the one really pushing for it. In the end, though, people will dress how they want unfortunately regardless of whether or not they've been given instructions :/

Thanks you guys, you're right, I probably won't even notice or remember! If I know my mommy, she's already spreading it by word of mouth lol.

Here's another thought, are you going to bar them from entering if they are not dressed to "standard"?

I would let it go. When I was specifically asked by my cousin what she should wear, I told her something she would wear to church. But, that was because she asked.

Find the most formal picture of your venue that's on-line, and post that on your wedding website. It might help the jeans and T-shirt crowd into wearing something decent. I can tell you that I've worked weddings and attended personal weddings, and those short cocktail dresses (don't bend over the bar, ladies) are just a fact of our culture. You can't stop them, so don't bother sweating it.

It is improper to mention guest attire unless you are hosting a true black tie event, and if you were, your event manager would have already pointed that out.

I don't think that in the grand scheme of thing what they are wearing will matter

It's inappropriate to put any kind of dress code" on an invitation unless it's black tie, which yours is not). You could put it on the wedding website and spread word of mouth. But honestly, if your guests are tacky/slutty then they will wear their tacky/slutty club dress no matter what lol.

If you have a separate reception card you can note that the event is black tie on there.

If you have a separate reception card you can note that the event is black tie on there.

No she can't, because it's not a black tie event.

Thank you ladies!

I think the furthest you could go is requesting that they wear formal attire on your website or invitations. Let them know it's a black tie or whatever else event.

Sara and Jane, no. Do not specify attire on an invitation unless you're truly having black tie. It's a serious etiquette no no. Jane, look up the criteria for "black tie", it's not a dress code it is an alert about the formality of your event.

Manner of dress is indicated by the formality if the invitation and the venue for the event.

In our faqs, I listed something like "wear what you're comfortable in. But if you need inspiration, semi-formal will be fitting for the occasion."