Amount of money for wedding gift

@april also I think that article she posted from might mean per person not per couple just heads up

I typically give $300 for a wedding from us as a couple. If it were a much closer relative, like niece or nephew, I might give more.

Tagging along on this post since I have never been to a wedding... If you give a gift from the registry are you still expected to give money in a card at the wedding? Please excuse my ignorance.

Having any expectation of anything is a sure route to being disappointed. And your spending does not equal their giving, nor should you even consider that.

Well put Celia

I have always given what I can reasonably afford. It has been as low as $20 (college years). Now, as an established married couple, we normally give $80-$100 (again, what we an afford).

I agree with Celia about not having expectations. At our wedding, we had one guest give nothing (not even a card), one family (mother, her two children, and her beau) give a beautiful card only, and a married couple who gave $10 in a card (I understand their situation, but I still found it amusing that it was 10 one-dollar bills). My point is, we didn't judge any of our guests for this. We enjoyed their company and appreciated their support on our wedding day.

There's a really good app that helps you calculate an appropriate gift. Used to be free but now they charge for it.

You want to factor in the wedding location, how close you are to the couple, whether it's a Saturday or Sunday, evening or afternoon...etc.

While there's no "rule" that you should cover at least your plate, we always try to. If we know the parents are paying for the wedding, or its mid afternoon, we might give a bit less. But never less than $100/pp, and we have given up to $250/pp ($500 total from me and FH).

If you're spending a lot to travel to the wedding, most couples understand that you may give a smaller gift. Eta- we live in the northeast where it's pretty expensive to host your average wedding. So we try to always make sure we are not a burden to the hosts.

Gracelyn, the registery is for the shower. It is custom to give a gift for the shower and a cash gift for the wedding generally.

Why would a Saturday or Sunday, afternoon or evening make any difference in your gift?

200 per couple is pretty customary in my circle. More if I'm very close to the bride or groom.

Must Love Cats, that is not always true. There are many "boxed gift areas" where giving a registry gift for the wedding is very much still customary. In some places, giving money for a wedding is unheard of. Some people don't like to give money because they find it impersonal and crass. There are a lot of geographical differences as well as differences among families and social circles.

Gracelyn, no. If you give a registry gift for the wedding then you do not have to give cash as well.

I give $200 for my fiancé and I. I don't give less if I'm not as close because I feel like I'm choosing to go their wedding and they're spending the same amount to have me whether I'm a friend, coworker or family. I would never give less if I knew their parents were paying for the wedding as I don't think that's any of my business in the first place and not relevant to what I give.

The only time I spend less is if the wedding isn't being properly hosted but I've been to tons of weddings and that's only ever happened once and we were asked to help out and give free labor at that particular wedding.

I'm in the northeast and $50pp would be considered inappropriate for a gift in my area (but definitely better then nothing)

We had a lot of people who just gave $50 in a card. A few $100 gift cards, and lots of random little gifts.

I think the amount given is based on location. Weddings in St. Louis, like most other things, are way cheaper than say Chicago or New York. Honestly the only $100+ gifts we got came from close family. I usually do $50, more if close friend or family.

We usually give anywhere from $100-200 depending on how close I am to the couple.

Still trying to get over RTR posting her disappointment in her gifts on a public forum.... wow. (SN as a southerner I read RTR as Roll Tide Roll)

I apologize if my comment was out of line, and you are right that I should not have had expectations. However, I see this forum as sharing experiences and advice. If others are expecting to receive gifts at the amounts listed in the article above, they may be disappointed so I wanted to serve as a reality check. I am mostly surprised at how many of DH's friends did not give any token of congratulations, regardless of the cost (ETA: I enjoyed reading people's messages in cards or in the guest book -- not talking about money here).

Really Hannah? I find that kinda weird, honestly, partly because the "per plate cost" isn't even remotely the cost per guest. In my area you'd be looking at a 600.00+ check.

And again, it has nothing to do with your gift; the gift should be based on how close you are with the couple.

You should at least cover you and your dates plate. If you can give more, depending on the closeness you are with the person, then great.

What you should give depends on what you can afford. If you can afford $100-200, that's great. If you can't, you give what makes sense for your budget.