Am I wrong? MOB vs MOG

Mom: "You give his side a lot of thought and I feel like not enough to your side. What I prefer doesn't matter"

Me: how do you think your preferences don't matter I call you everyday asking your opinion on wedding stuff

Mom: "yes but not when it comes to his family"

Me: "I have to take FH into consideration too just because you don't like them doesn't mean I should exclude them"

Mom: "The brides family usually takes preference. Even if I liked them more, I would just want bridal party and me. It shouldn't always be even steven"

"I want time with you, helping you get ready without other distractions. Cant you give me that?"

Now I just replied that I don't know why she thinks FMIL would get in the way and we will still have those moments of her helping me with the dress, etc. but she hasn't responded. And I've mentioned that I do want FMIL there to my mom but she's convinced I'm doing it to be "fair" not because I actually want her there. Am I wrong? Should I give in and not invite her to make my mom happy or stand my ground to invite her?

Whoa. No, you are not wrong. Your FMIL is going to be your mother in law. MOG isn't any less important than MOB (in my opinion).

I wouldn't give in. Have who you want there and she'll just need to put a smile on her face and deal. Plus it seems like this could just set a bad precedent if you let her get her way, and she could start similar complaints when it comes to how you spend your holidays and such in the future, with her fully expecting to be able to sway you.

She sounds jealous of the FMIL

First off this is your day.. second it's not your mom's choice and she's being disrespectful for not wanting to share this day with the groom's family.

Yeah, she sounds petty as fuck.

Don't give in and I would stop talking about it if possible. When the day comes your mom will be happy and too busy to worry about this.

I believe in avoidance whenever possible plus it doesn't feed it.

Invite her. She's about to be your family and your mom should understand that. You'll still have those moments with your mom, no one can take those away, your FMIL will only be there to get ready and be included in the day of festivities. This is just as exciting for her as it is for your mom and she should be included. Maybe plan a special spa day or something with your mom the day before so that you can get in some special mother/daughter alone time.

MOG is just as important as MOB. I say you include her (if that's what you want to do). This is her day too and it's so mean to take that experience away from her if she would like to be there too. I had both my mom and his mom with me and would have hated if I missed that experience and photos. She is your family soon too. Your mom is the one being unfair and selfish.

You're definitely not in the wrong here! I think you're being polite and inclusive

I don't at all think you are wrong. I actually find it very sweet and considerate of you to invite your FMIL. It seems like your mom would really appreciate some mother-daughter time. Would it be possible to get your nails done together the day before and go out to lunch after?

Yeah you're in the right. I'm going to offer to my FMIL too and she can decide what she wants to do. Most likely she will want to be with FH getting ready at home because my side will also be at a hotel near our ceremony/reception site getting ready.

Sounds like your mom is jealous or something. She will still get all those moments with you

YOU ARE RIGHT. You do what feels right to you and if you want MOG there, then she should be there.

I think your right. FMIL is getting hair and makeup done with the rest of us

Personally, I would stand my ground and invite FMIL. You're not wrong in any way and it sounds like your mom is just making an excuse (FMIL getting in the way) to not invite her. This is one of those things that it really is up to you.

I'm paying for my FMIL to get her hair and make-up... I would feel bad not to. She gave birth to the man I'm in love with, why doesn't she deserve to be pampered too?

The comment about the brides family taking preference and it shouldn't always be even steven sounds immature as hell.

Wha??? My FMIL is absolutely getting ready with the rest of us.

What your mother is saying doesn't even make sense. Why would the MoG not be included?

Nothing wrong with inviting ur mother in law I no what ur mom is saying maybe she just wants some 1 on 1 time b4 ur married but I would still invite ur fmil

You should definitely invite MOG!!! She is your family now too. Promise your mom that you will spend some quality time getting ready with just her! Maybe you have MOG check in with the groom while you and your mom take pictures or she helps you put on your dress or something!