Am I crazy or has she become a Bridezilla?

To add a little I couldn’t fit above:

I got my bridesmaids a personalized $80 gift (because she told me thats extremely important).

I paid for EVERYTHING besides her $80 dress and 1 hotel night.

MOH did give me a $200 wedding gift card which I thought was very generous!

For her wedding:

She gave me a BM gift in the form of a $3 candle.

Dresses are $260.

At this rate, I am quite sure Jewelry, shoes, hair/makeup, nails will be the most expensive she can find. (I required none of those and paid for hair/makeup for her).

Honestly, I feel like she knows we are not supposed to throw the engagement party, but she has run all other resources dry on other extravagant parts, and this is the only way for her to still have everything is to saddle BM with it. It might be awful of me to speculate that, but I'm pretty sure its the case...

How do I handle this? Thanks!

Drop out.

That defiantly does not sounds right!! Is there anyway you can talk to her about it all and bring her back down to Earth? ETA: Why would you (BM's) throw her an engagement party and fork out for 100 guests?? That would cost a fortune! Never mind all the other crazy stuff!

I would drop out immediately. Ain't nobody got $5k to spend on that crap.

Who are all these brides that feel so entitled to dictate that others plan and throw parties/showers for them? WOW! You are only required to show-up on time and in your dress on the day of the wedding. If you are able to throw these kind of showers for your friend then great but if not, then explain to the sister that you are not financially able to do that right now. Sorry, OP.

Definitely drop out. Sounds like your finances are not in a place right now where you could afford any extra expenses, let alone all these parties!

Holy crap. 5k is some people's budgets for their entire wedding, never mind a friend's wedding. This sounds like it's going to be hell for you, I'd politely drop out.

That's ridiculous! I would drop out and not feel guilty at all

I would let the other ladies know you cannot afford to contribute to the unrequired parties. if it becomes and issue you can step down.

Yikes! I'll hold my tongue on what I think about this person but regardless of anything else, you can only afford what you can afford - and you should never feel guilty about that!

Honestly, I'd drop out. The financial drain of her expectations is going to really hurt you -- not to mention the stress associated with it. If you lost your job and sold your house, I imagine you have way more important things to spend that money on.

Run Forest, run!!! Seriously, tell her you can't afford all that shit. Whether or not you'll have to step down from the party is based on how she responds. No us a complete sentence, and how you spend your money is up to you alone.

If you were my bridesmaid I would be offering to help you out and even buy your dress. I'm honoured to have people in my bridal party, not the other way around. This makes me sad. And buying food for the entire party? That's absurd. I would give her coupons for McNuggets while letting her know "I can't even with you." You deserve better than that. I'm all for second chances so maybe speak to her but honestly I would just walk away from this one.

Tell the MOH how much you can contribute to the parties....see how that convo goes. Then drop out if you need to.

This is crazy!

I would drop out and let her know why.

She's just using you for the money I guarantee

Tell her right now 'I don't have the money for anything, I will be there for you in any way I can that doesn't cost me money I don't have, and will buy my dress and be there on the day to support you". Anyone who then asks for you to do anything is a bad friend.

So you basically at your wedding maybe got her to pay 500 for everything. And she's asking you to pay 5k.. uh no sorry, I would tell her you can do minimal but all of this is overboard.

Nope nope nope haha. I'd tell her I can't pay for all that and if she doesn't like it, I'd step down. That is not what bridesmaids are for. She can pay for her own parties.

You can't do tic for tat. Have an honest conversation with your friend about how you feel, and why you feel that way.