Am i being too cheap?

Rather than dish-to-pass (which I read as family style, so tell me if this wrong) I might go with a buffet set up. Either way, if the pandemic is still on, not sure I would have people serving themselves - the other thing is if people are serving themselves you need A LOT more food, because you'll have more waste (we've been to a couple weddings where the people in the second half of the line had limited choices, or no food)

For 120 guests? Are you referring to a potluck when you say dish to pass? Or family style? Either way I personally don't think it's the best idea.

If you're referring to a potluck then asking that many people to bring food is not a good idea. I personally wouldn't eat just anyone's food.

If you're referring to family style then I'm not sure that it'll be cheaper because you'll need more food if people are serving themselves.
Aside from that keep in mind that even with a vaccine coming, Covid will still be a thing next year

View Quoted Comment I'm starting work right now, but this was very helpful. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Thank you, Becky. I'm starting work right now but this was very helpful!

If you are referring to a potluck style dinner (ie, asking each guest to bring a dish), I would strongly advise against it for several reasons.


1. In this new world of Covid, having people bring dishes from their homes could be unsafe and make your guests feel incredibly uncomfortable.
2. With people cooking items at home and transporting them, there is no way to be sure safe handling temperatures are being adhered to. You have a huge potential of unsafe handling practices and making people sick (which could also lead to liability issues for you)
3. The meal at a wedding is the couple’s way of thanking their guests for taking time out of their own busy lives to attend your event. Not only is asking them to bring a dish not properly hosting them or thanking them, it is actually requiring them to take even more time out of their busy lives to do you work for your event. You should definitely provide a meal to all guests, free of charge, without them doing any work.
If you were referring to catered family style dining, I have heard of this being done at some weddings. However, again, with Covid being an issue, this may not be the best/safest route to go. Best options would be either a plated meal, or a buffet/stations where the food is served by servers in order to minimize contact

It’s extremely tacky to invite people to your event and ask them to prepare and pay for food for your guests. It’s also a huge liability. If you can’t afford to feed your guests, cut the guest list. 120 people is nowhere near small.

View Quoted Comment Understood

View Quoted Comment I did not see it this way. Thank you! This was very helpful.

View Quoted Comment That’s what we’re here for!- to bounce ideas off of, and get & give ideas/inspiration! 😀

View Quoted Comment Well, it's greatly appreciated. I'm young (20) and this wedding planning stuff is a whole new thing for me. Thanks again.

120 guest list is considered small?! Woah!
I would highly recommend doing a differest style of approach for the food.

View Quoted Comment You bet! Congratulations on the engagement!!

View Quoted Comment That's the absolute maximum. My fiancee has a very large extended family. As far as our guest list, only 15 from my family, about 30 mutual friends, and then his family. We're working on narrowing this down. Hahaha 😬

View Quoted Comment Thank you! 😊

You need to have your food catered. This is asking for a huge disaster. Not enough food, gross food, safety, pandemic, allergies, liability, to name a few. I would never personally attend a wedding where I had to bring a dish. A backyard bash, yes I’ll bring a dish to pass.

View Quoted Comment Yes, thank you Alli. I've received a lot of helpful advice (and caution) this morning as far as the food at the reception. Thanks for the input.

I would consider 120 guests a rather large wedding! And to echo the PPs, this is too many for potluck style (aside from the fact that Covid will likely still be around for your wedding). If you want to cater cheaply, look into Italian, Mexican, or even pizza.

View Quoted Comment Thank you, Hanna. 120 guests is the absolute max although we are trying to narrow it down to 90 or less if possible. I totally thought of pizza btw! 😂

The casual backyard vibe is great. The potluck is not since the couple needs to provide refreshments from own pocket. In Covid, people are very apprehensive about shared food. If cake from the grocery store and Costco pizzas (served to guests by a designated person following food safety regulations) is all you can afford then that's what you do. Most local restaurants cater very inexpensively and you get a ton of food. You can get a corporate catering deal including plates and utensils from a local Mexican restaurant for example for 100 people at $300 or so and it's the same food you enjoy on date night. Again, there needs to be designated staff (can be hired through thumbtack.com to safely serve your guests.

View Quoted Comment Wow, thank you so much Michelle! This is without a doubt the most helpful advice so far. I'll consider my options as far as local restaurants. Thanks again! 😀