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Just Said Yes February 2024

All 3 of my fiancée's bridesmaids backed out - should they be disinvited?

David, on January 24, 2024 at 11:58 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 2

My fiancée had three bridesmaids who accepted BM role, then eventually backed out. 2 of whom never showed up to small bridal shower (the plan was the moms + fiancée + bridesmaids); the Maid of Honor, who has flexible schedule, worked instead. Then they gave her difficult time on dresses too.

Here's what was expected of BM's: attend shower dinner, buy $100 dress, show up. No time commitment re: decorations or planning.

After deciding to go as guests, we had to chase them for RSVP's.

But they still have the nerve to say "let me know if you need anything". They have absolutely no idea how much they hurt my fiancée.

I feel like these girls should be disinvited. It makes no sense to try and slim down list to 100, denying +1's for people or leaving out people we'd like to come - with about 10 people (they're bringing partners and kids) who have been so disrespectful.

Any thoughts?


Latest activity by SandyZV, on January 24, 2024 at 2:55 PM
  • Janet
    Expert October 2018
    Janet ·
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    Without knowing their reasons to why they have backed out, disinviting entirely is, for lack of better words, a friendship ending move. I wouldn't base an entire friendship off this, if they have been terrible friends, yeah, go for it. But if this/these are unlikely occurrences, I wouldn't be too hasty to remove them entirely. Bridesmaids are allowed to back out if it's too much time, money, etc. And "too much" is for the individual to come up with.

    Do you or your fiancé know why they backed out, or what reasons they gave? 3 people dropping out is kind of a lot without notice, so I wonder if something else is going on between them and the bride.

  • S
    Dedicated June 2023
    SandyZV ·
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    I agree with all this-there has to be another reason why 3 BM backed out. There has to be a bigger reason there.

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