Alcohol or Dry Wedding?

The wonderful discovery of toilet bananas has been brought to you by WW's 2017 engagement season!

I can't even with the pictures...

This makes me not even want to eat bananas now lol

Am I the only one who thought eating a banana out of the toilet was a colloquialism for a NSFW action performed in a public bathroom? ...Just me?

Great point, @kt90210. Sorry-not-sorry, alcohol is expected at weddings. Not serving it just to save money (or God forbid having a cash bar) is cheap and rude to your guests. However, there is one exception. If you have a non-meal time reception that is brief and serve cake and punch, and disclose to your guests ahead of time, it's fine. That's usually reserved for very religious couples and I think that's fair. But to ask your guests to stay for a 5 hour reception during a meal time without offering adult beverages to adults is rude. Especially when your reasoning falls somewhere within "if they truly love me they'll be fine with it" or "I don't want to spend the money to host properly, but I want a bunch of people to come and give me presents."

Have alcohol. Everyone wins. The people that want to drink, can, and those that don't, won't. Also, 2pm is NOT to early in the day to start drinking. People were drinking before our ceremony at 1pm.

@K squared thank you! I was concerned 2 was too early, but plenty of people say they've started even earlier than that, which makes me feel better.

LOL, I worked at bars for years and as soon as it hit 11 and I could legally pour, people were switching to beer or liquor.

No probs Kayla. My dad actually opened our bar early since so many people showed up early. We wouldn't have had it open if the ceremony was outside but it rained. Worked out better because our guests loved having a drink before/during the ceremony. Silver lining.

My wedding in 2015 had no bananas in toilets!

One elderly guest lost a shoe due to the open bar, but alas, no bananas. I demand a re-do!

Our wedding was lunch at 12:30, we served liquor and folks drank. Not everyone but a lot of people had a beer or a long island iced tea with lunch.

The whole "What about AA folks" is worthless. I am a grownup. I know I don't drink for a lot of reasons. I can choose to go or not go to an event where there is drinking. I choose to go or my hubby and I would never eat out, never go out for NYE, or go to friend's houses for dinner. We keep whiskey, beer and wine in the house. No biggie.

It is not the job of bride/groom/hosting people to track and and/or monitor people's sobriety. WHy would you want to? You have enough on your plate.

Edited to add: Serve alcohol or don't. But please don't say "we have people in recovery coming" as that sounds like an excuse to be cheap.

Don't know how anyone lasts all day with family members without alcohol!

Jk! But like other posters mentioned, yes to alcohol - at least beer and wine

Kayla -- You wrote, "At first I was planning an evening with an open bar, then an early afternoon with champagne and maybe one signature drink...I'm terrified I'll put down a ton of money for bar tending, security, and alcohol that no one will drink. I can think of other things I'd rather spend that money on...".

And your guests will instantly notice those other things you spent the bar budget on as they sit

around sipping water and soda. I know a few people said that if this is the type of guest coming to their wedding (the so-called "judgmental" guest), then they would prefer that they stay home. Maybe they would stay home IF they knew beforehand that it was a dry wedding. I think dry weddings and cash bars should be printed on the invitation (i.e., "Soft drinks, Dinner, and Dancing to follow").

Most of the time, this issue is based in money. I noticed that your wedding was originally planned to be an evening wedding with an open bar. Then, you scaled it back to be a lunch wedding with champagne. Now you're seriously considering cutting the alcohol altogether. Will your guests think you are cheap? Some will think it's a matter of being cheap, but others will determine that you couldn't afford to host as many guests as you invited, so, instead of cutting the guest list, you decided to subtract from the hosting so that you could add to the size of the gift-giving crowd. Either way, it comes back to money and a majority of people know it (actually, in your heart of hearts, you know it Kayla. It's why you're afraid of looking cheap in front of your guests).

You don't have to have an evening wedding or a full open bar. Lunch weddings are lovely, and they're the perfect place to serve champagne cocktails and wine. You won't regret it.

And far as the comparison of alcohol to acid, mushrooms, and ecstasy -- that's a new one, lol. There is no relation between the two. Alcohol is a social lubricant and it gets people talking and laughing; the hallucinogenic drugs listed are a license to converse with inanimate objects. They're not the best ingredients for a social celebration.

My family loves me, but they also love wine. They showed their love for me and my DH by coming to celebrate with us, we showed our love for them by hosting a proper event.

There are exceptions to every rule, but unless it's a religious thing or the one bride who her entire guest list were in AA, then a hosted bar is the proper way to thank your guests.

I come from a non-western culture where alcohol is NOT a major part of every celebration (when it's present people enjoy it, but its not a cornerstone like it is in america) so I've been to mostly cash bar weddings, some dry weddings, and I think total of 3 open bar weddings (one was an american wedding, one was beer and wine open bar, and one was "our culture"). Some people serve alcohol in their homes, others do not.

I've been to at least 3 dry weddings in the past four years and honestly had a great time at each one. Did they last till 1 am? No, but they were also all on Sundays. I had a good time because I was celebrating good friends who made a choice based on religious reasons. I didn't hear anyone else judge them for it because it was expected. I've also been to cash bar weddings where the party did go strong till 1 am on a Sunday because that's the type of guests they had (and a great DJ).

That being said, it doesn't sound like these are your reasons. If it's not cultural, moral or religious opposition to alcohol that is widely known, I'd say include at least wine or champagne. Because if it's not because of your "beliefs", people will assume it's because you're cheap. Just my thoughts.

Don't be 'terrified that no one will drink"

They will.

For me personally, and I'm not afraid to admit this though it may be labeled by some as selfishness, my time is incredibly valuable to me. Especially my down time. It's rare, it's limited, and it does have a monetary value, as my business is discretionary (as in, I sometimes have to say no to money in order to exchange it for free time).

I have 2 options, then...When it comes to deciding if I'm going to use that precious free time to go to a dry wedding, or stay cozy at my house with my cat, hubby, and a glass of wine? I'm staying home with my wine. Sorry, but that doesn't mean I'm a social degenerate or a raging alcoholic. It is what it is....

Agree with Talia, 1000 %. My partner and I are both officiants, he is back in grad school, and our spare time is really, really sparse. We pick our leisure carefully.

A dry /cash bar wedding wouldn't even be a remote possibility in my family, but if it was?

I'd be home with Talia, lol....

I just don't get what there is to do at a dry wedding that makes it fun, supposedly. I can have fun without alcohol -- if I'm doing another activity. But I don't consider sitting around a table sober with a bunch of people for three hours a whole lot of fun. And if there is dancing, well, I feel super awkward dancing till I have a drink or two in me and I know I'm not the only one. So what do people actually do at these dry weddings?

Edited for typo

Alcohol is a lot like dessert.

1) It's not good for you, but damn it's soooooooo good

2) It's technically not REQUIRED, but you sure as hell wonder where it is if it's not there

3) If you don't have it at your wedding it will be what people first think of when they remember/talk about your wedding.

Dammit, I guess my wedding sucked cause there were no toilet banana eating alcoholics. However, I did find this pic from my BFFs wedding in 1996, lol.