Alcohol at the wedding-when you don't really want it there

It’s your event, if you don’t want alcohol, don’t have it. You’re never going to make everyone happy so you’ll get backlash either way, may as well do what works for you.

In my opinion. I think you should have it readily available or not. I don't love the idea of only getting enough for people to have one or two. Some people drink a lot faster than others so I may want a glass of wine with dinner, but what if someone else already had like 4 drinks and now there's not enough? I think you should stick with your no alcohol plan rather than policing the consumption per person - especially if you are paying for everything.

View Quoted Comment

The issue with this, is they told me that if I don't have any they are going to sneak it in or basically tailgate in the parking lot. Which if they did this, then we could get in trouble with the venue. I have a hard time saying no unfortunately.

We have some heavy drinkers in our family, too, and they just snuck their alcohol in at my sister's dry wedding. It helps to have beer and wine, especially if if is low alcohol content beer and wine, instead of mixed drinks. But heavy drinkers will likely still drink all the alcohol and light drinkers probably won't get more than one or two beers. The best way to limit it would be not to have any at all. It is your choice since you are the host!

View Quoted Comment

We considered doing drink tickets. I just don't want certain people making a fool out of themselves. I grew up around alcoholics, so it is not my favorite thing in the world. Also, as I commented above, they told me if I don't have it they will sneak it in and then we can get in trouble with the venue. :/

The best way to avoid people drinking too much is to have a reputable bartender that will cut people off if they've had too much. They can also help with ordering the right amount of alcohol.

View Quoted Comment

Okay, I will see if I can get in contact with the bartender. Thank you for your suggestion!!

View Quoted Comment If it helps, my sisters venue had a strict no alcohol policy and no one got too wild or got caught. They just brought discreet flasks and spiked their tea in the bathroom. They did have their own afterparty though and things got a little sloppy there.

View Quoted Comment

I got ya. I don't think that anyone on my side of the family will be drinking. The issue comes with those on my FH's side of the family. Almost all of them have a drinking problem and end up fighting in some way or another when alcohol is involved. They are the reason I am having it, because they all kept coming to me and saying the wedding is going to suck without it or people won't have a good time if we don't etc etc

View Quoted Comment Completely agree with this

Totally your wedding and I’ve been to non-alcohol weddings and had a great time! ❤️ Lots of great ideas already posted and another thought to add to the mix - just have one champagne toast. If any asks, yes there will be alcohol there (technically) 😉

Your event, your decision. Talk to the bartender. Do not announce ahead of time that it is a dry wedding and deflect the question to another topic if anyone brings it up. Guests don't need that information.

Do not even serve champagne. If you want a toast, let them drink what they already have or serve sparkling Martinellis nonalcoholic cider

View Quoted Comment

Thank you for your positive comment! We will be having a champagne toast which I am completely fine with! I don't hate drinking by any means, just would like an accident free, fun night!

View Quoted Comment If you are concerned with people acting violently after drinking at your wedding, you should definitely not have alcohol there, or not invite those particular people. Choosing to invite those people and have alcohol at your reception means that you are aware of the risks in doing so and are choosing to accept the consequences of it. It doesn’t matter if you try to limit their intake by limiting the amount of alcohol you provide, they will just drink other people’s’ portions (leaving some guests without drinks at all), and then likely still bring in outside drinks.

I have been to a wedding where everyone got 2 drink tickets to use at the bar. You could maybe consider doing something like that to still allow alcohol, but keep everyone in check?

View Quoted Comment

I completely agree with this. Do not invite anyone who will cause a scene. That gets to the root of the issue.

View Quoted Comment

Were there a lot of people giving up their tickets? I don't believe my side of the family will be drinking as most are recovering alcoholics. I am just curious if it worked well or not.

View Quoted Comment

I had one person give me their ticket, but that's it. I guess it does depend on your crowd, but most people at this wedding were using their tickets.

View Quoted Comment

Unfortunately the issue lies within my FH's side of the family. I can't not invite his family. I guess I just have a lot to consider. I have been going back and forth on this for about a year now. We get married in a little over a month, so I need to get this figured out.

View Quoted Comment

Noted. Thanks for responding back!