Alcohol at the reception

@MrsBDGE - I'm sorry I forgot. I sure did. I started a new thread out of courtesy to OP because I didn't want to "hijack" her thread. I'm sorry for trying to be courteous.

@Terri you are the one who called me out saying "I didn't even post"

I don't know why you are picking a fight...

Courtesy.....

@MrsBdeG I'm not picking a fight at all. I'm sorry we seem to keep misunderstanding one another's intent. I'm going to hide my "call-out" post. I honestly forgot that I did that last night.

I've been to a few weddings that had no bar at all and instead they had a bottle of wine on each table. This limits drinking but also provides every person with a little something to make the atmosphere light. From my experience this did not cause any problems and everyone was appreciative of the "free" drink. However this is something that would add to your expenses so it all depends on how many guests you plan on having and what your budget is.

@Vicky I don't know what country clubs you've been to, but none of the ones I've been a member of have had "flowing" alcohol. Drinks at those clubs are expensive af.

There seems to be a lot of judgment in these comments. And am I the only one living off a wages as a waitress and planning a wedding? There is no way I can even think of a way to afford an open bar! I honestly think that you should make the decision you are most comfortable with, and own it. If you want to do a cash bar, to prevent from as much being drank, or for other reasons, go ahead. If you think a cash bar would be a nice bonus, that is your decision. Society has decided on certain expectations on events, which has lead people to feel entitled to an open bar, while the wedding industry has also become insanely expensive. You are getting married and throwing a party for one day, not going broke as you start a marriage. For all of the people who can afford an open bar, that is wonderful for you! Just remember that not everyone is in the same financial situation, and a lower income couple has every right to through a party with as many family and friends as they can.

Fixing other people's vices isn't your place. If they have a drinking problem, be sure to make arrangements so drunk people aren't driving. Don't punish everyone for the actions of a few. Adults should be allowed alcohol is they choose it. I would select a few beers and wines and provide those free of charge. No one wants to pay for a drink at a wedding they brought a gift to, possibly had to travel for, arrange a babysitter for, etc...

@Eva - a marriage is a right, but a big party is not. No one on this forum would advocate that you go into debt or spend beyond your means for a party. The overwhelming advice that is given is have the wedding you can afford. The reception is a party that you are hosting, and there is etiquette for that. Part of being a good host is making sure your guests are comfortable, have good food, and an adult drink if they want without charging them for it. Plenty of people on this forum have smaller budgets and have beautifuly-hosted weddings with an open bar. To do that, they limit their guest lists to the number of people they can afford to host properly. There were people who did not make our guest list that we would have loved to invite. Instead, we invited the number of people we could afford to host.

There are a lot of comments advising against this, so I guess I'll echo. Cash bar won't slow them down. If they have a drinking problem money isn't the issue. My dad was an alcoholic & used my college savings they put aside for me to buy alcohol. Paying for drinks doesn't stop people with problems

I would just advise that anyone dead set on a cash bar make sure that their guests know this before they commit to attending.

It feels like trickery if you arrive at a wedding and have to make a purchase. At least let people know so they can choose whether to attend, pack a flask or bring cash.

My brother and sister in law's wedding was dry. People were late because they stopped at the bar between the ceremony and reception. People drank in the parking lot and even under the table inside. A bunch left early because on a Friday/Saturday night, a lot of people like to unwind with a few drinks. If someone wants to drink, they will find a way to do it even if you don't supply it.

If you can't afford the alcohol, you've invited too many guests and are passing the cost of that on to them.