Alcohol at the reception

Yeah I get what your saying, thanks!

If they're alcoholics cash bar isn't gonna stop them, hell a non- alcohol wedding wouldn't stop them ( I'm speaking with experience with my father). But a cash bar is better then no bar at all, that way at least ppl who want to have a couple of drinks can.

We have a set amount of wine and beer only. We have 100 guests. We have 1 keg which is about 160 bottles of beer and 25 bottles of wine. We are also doing a champagne toast. If our guests would like any more alcohol they are welcome to purchase this at their own expense.

It's a wedding, not an intervention. It includes lots of people who don't have drinking problems, but do have problems with dressing, traveling, gifting, and attending your wedding only to be penalized with a drinking fee because you don't want to provide alcohol to your parents -- who, by the way, will absolutely indulge with their own money. Your cash bar will stop nothing than an open bar wouldn't stop -- if you're hiring a professional, licensed bartender.

Cash bars are horrible...unless they are open to the public businesses you visit on a Saturday evening. For a hosted affair, no...your guests are done spending the moment they cross the threshold. If you want a dry wedding, prepare yourself for a short wedding. After dinner, they'll be waiting for the first person to start to exodus.

I don't think cash bars are terrible, but I am not having one because I wouldn't host a party that way. From what was said, I understand the desire to control the situation, but you can't control everything. You also can't let the actions of a few people control the decisions you make. Drinkers gonna drink, whether they pay or you pay for it or provide it at all.

You can provide beer and wine at a low cost or wine for the tables with dinner and a lightly boozy punch. Ultimately, it's obviously up to you to decide whether to have alcohol or not, but just know it's entirely possible that not serving alcohol might not prevent what you're afraid of.

Ah the good old ‘my family are recovering alcoholics’ excuse. Why can’t people just be honest about this? Your concern is not for your family members, it’s for your wallet. Let’s call a spade a spade.

You're using false logic about the "if the have to buy a drink they'll drink less" idea.

Don't use your wedding to teach someone else a lesson or make a point.

Be honest, you want to pay less by making others pay for your wedding.

Yes, cash bars are terrible...

Live with your decision to host a dry wedding and accept the results, but don't dangle the celebratory element in the faces of the majority of your guests (those without drinking issues) and expect them to pay for the party element you want, but won't finance. And that's why they're terrible.

So you are making their problem everyone else's problem by making them pay for their own drinks.

That is like saying you can't serve cake at your wedding because your 400 pound soon to be sister in law cannot control herself! Are you not going to have a wedding cake....of course you will still have a cake.

Cash bars are just rude, but I have seen them. Either way, up to you.

Maybe just do a couple choices in beer and wine and no hard alcohol. That is usually what gets people in trouble...the hard stuff.

A cash bar won't stop your family members from drinking? I'm not sure your logic on this. They could still buy alcohol....

Cash bars will not stop anyone from drinking They will, however, stop people from thinking you're a good host. If you're concerned about cost, do a limited wine/beer/sig drink bar, but don't ask guests to enjoy an entire evening of water, tea, coffee and soda because you have a few guests that you've decided are problematic. (And no, you can't 'get them help". If they truly need it, they need to get it.)

I'll spare you my list of 11 reasons why this is rude, but it is. And generally, every rationale comes down to money.

I really feel a lot of judgement coming from these comments. You needed help deciding what to do and I don't feel like that really calls for some of these comments.

I tried so hard to cater my day to my guests and I simply can not afford it, and goodness it's our day, not our guests'. So really whether it's "rude" or not doesn't matter. It's rude if your guests can't accept the couple's decision.

Hailee, the ceremony is for you. The reception is for your guests.

It isn't judgement.... its etiquette.

She asked for help with this decision and that's what she got. Don't have a cash bar. If you're having a dry wedding, limit it to cake & punch.

Hailee, it's not "your day" once you involve guests. The ceremony is for the wedding couple, and the reception is to thank the guests for attending the ceremony. It's your gift to the guests. You've got this backwards. If you can't afford to host properly, cut the guest list until you afford food and drinks.

@Hailee We are trying to prevent her from poorly hosting and having her guests judge her. Unless you aren't hosting any guests, then yes, the day is all about you. The second you invite guests the reception is about the guests. You host your guests well as a thank you for attending the ceremony.

So... if they have to pay for it, those with drinking problems will not drink? Has that stopped them before? Not getting the logic here

I think people on here are being kinda judgemental as far as bars go. Frankly my family could do without them, the few who are even traveling to come anyway, and my FH family is very strongly Mormon. Keeping that in mind and the fact my venue doesn't have a liquor license I'm opting out of a bar and going for sparkling cider/punch. Honestly have mostly kids coming to the wedding because of his siblings having so many kids.

Do what you feel is best people will enjoy it no matter what

@OP If you have a dry wedding or cash bar don't expect people to hang out after dinner. Your best bet is to host a shorter reception during a non-meal time with cake and punch. This way the guests can enjoy their evenings as they see fit.

Thanks for all the comments everyone. I do have to say I agree that there seemed to be some judgment in some of them. However I appreciate the feedback and will take the advice into account. Thanks again

You have to do what's best for you at the end of the day. If having a cash bar makes you less anxious about them over drinking have it. We( people on this forum) don't have to deal with them on our wedding day-you do. You know what's best! just know if they really want to drink they will just bring it in a flask. I know for a fact bc i have seen it. Unfortunately It's out of your hands