Age differences?

I feel like you're having an argument with someone who isn't here...

'but why is it that people with money such as celebrities can live their lives without judgement'

They get judged all the time.

You're right they do get judged all the time, but I feel that people would get used to seeing them together.

I think I just need sleep, staying up all night makes me think crazy thoughts

Anyway choosing to marry someone who is 20 to 30 years older than you is odd... to say the least.

I was watching a movie on lifetime that was like that but the only reason she was getting married to him was for the money. I just didn't know if anyone ever like done it out of love

My Grandpa was 22 years older than my Grannie. They married in 1946. They were happy until death parted them. I think the judging come from how people are raised. Whether it be that they judge others for age gaps, race differences, financial differences, or sexual orientation. I'm thankful I was taught that we are not here to judge others, only to live the best life we can.

My cousin married her husband who was 20 years older than her out of love. He was not rich and she just loved him. Of course someone can marry someone older simply because they love them. My step-grandmother was just 2 years older than my dad. She married my grandfather (also not rich) before I was born and was devoted to him until his death.

One of my oldest friends married a guy 20 years older than her. It's still a fresh marriage but they are very happy

ETA words

I'm almost 9 years older than my FH. I was worried my age would push him away when we first started dating, but as you can see, I had no reason to worry.

Lol anyone that refers to their relationship as a "forbidden love" has read too many romance novels.

Someone will always have something to say about your relationship, no matter how old you are and how many years are between you and your partner. While I couldn't see finding things in common with someone that much older than I, it works for some people. If you can't ignore the naysayers or you let people butt into your relationship, you might need more time to mature a little and see how irrelevant those other people really are before you jump into something legal like marriage.

I could not see myself being with someone who was the age of my potential children. I would judge the older one of the couple and worry about the younger one. I think while both are youngish there is not so much of a problem, but with time there will be. Standard relationships are already hard, with an age difference it will be more demanding.

FH and I are 10 years and 11 months apart. I'm 30 he's 41, I have a 15 year old stepdaughter and I could really care less what others think! I am happy and I love my little family!! Now FH does not look his age he can pass for 35-37. I did feel like even some people in my circle turned their nose up to the fact that I was marrying a guy that is only 8 years younger than my mom (my parents had me and got married when's she was 16, keep in mind) and that here I have a stepdaughter half my age. but you can't help who you love!! He's my person and I am lucky to have found my absolute love of my life!! Your life, your decisions, love is love, don't worry about what people think!! And we are both GM's for the same restaurant concept so we almost make the same (he's been with the company longer so he makes more than I), but the whole money thing I think can be considered taboo to some extent.

H is 16.5 years older than I am. Our ages weren't even a consideration (for us) throughout the whole process, because we have similar perspectives and outlooks on life, similar backgrounds, similar levels of education, etc. I have stepsons who are 20 and 22. We plan on having 2-3 more children.

There are only two people who have even said something about our age difference. My dad wanted to make sure I was comfortable with the fact that being the younger one in this relationship meant that I would probably at some point become a caretaker spouse (especially since H has a family history of dementia), and so we had a long talk about that. And H's ex-wife thinks I'm a gold-digger and implies as much regularly (which we're pretty sure is because after the kids turned 18 we stopped sending money to her through the child support system and instead send it to the kids directly if they need help). But if anybody else thinks anything, they've kept it to themselves. I was actually grateful to my dad for giving me a venue to have that conversation before we got married.

@JJ, I don't agree. First, a big age difference is significantly harder when the couple is younger. If I had met H at 18, I would have been a completely different person than I was when I met him 7 years later. OP, these people are speaking truth when they say that you change SO MUCH in your early twenties. I teach college students, and even in my "traditional" students (put in quotations because there really is no such thing as a traditional college student, but that's an argument for another post), who are between 18-22, change so much from their first year to their last. Being in a relationship with someone who is at a completely different stage of life than you are is rough. H and I met when I was in my PhD program, and he had finished his about 5 years previously. So we were both on track with our career goals and decisions, etc. At 18 I still wanted to be a famous actress! Second, just because there is an age difference doesn't automatically mean that the relationship is harder. My relationship with H, although it isn't always perfect, is by far the best one (and the easiest one) I've ever been in. Why? Because he's a great guy with a huge heart, and before him I mostly dated assholes.

Edited: Clarity

I think everyone, including celebrities, get judged here.

The problem is at 18, while yes you are legally an adult, you do not have the maturity level of an adult. Not until mid 20s do brains fully develop and reach maturity.

At 18, you're on a completely different wavelength than even people 5 years older than you, much less 20-30. And I have to wonder what the older person's motivations are, especially because most people I know don't even want to deal with an 18 year old.

I'm only talking about 18-24/25 year olds. Once you hit that age, really the difference stops mattering as much, IMO.

Yes, please get some sleep.

Also, I wonder if your relationship is brand new? I say this because if you two have been together for some time, enough time that marriage is on the table and you've downloaded this app, this shouldn't bother you. Did you start seeing your SO before you were 18? If so, I don't think there is anything anyone can do now that you're of age (Don't quote me, I don't practice law.) but I understand anyone looking down on the relationship because of it.

A lot, if not most, would consider someone 37+ years old dating a 17 year old a huge red flag.

My ex is 25 years older than me. We didn't marry but were together for 9 years. He is not rich. We loved each other but he did not want to marry or have kids that's why he is my ex...We didn't care about being judged. I'm sure that there are a lot of couples that get a second look and they don't care

Everyone gets judged, here and elsewhere, especially celebrities. If you have a solid relationship, it shouldn't matter. If you're looking to others for validation, then it's not solid.

If I married someone 30 years older than me, basically, they'd be dead.

My FH is 22 years older than I am. I think it varies greatly upon how people mature.... I always dated older people, had older friends, etc..I was home schooled, finished school 2 yrs early and was around adults far more than people my own age. I've just always been "older" so for us we don't really notice the age difference until others talk about it. At the end of the day, age had nothing to do with why we are together, it's about how we connect - though maturity level plays into that (and I've always though women matured faster than men anyway. Haha)

My mom and step dad are 17 years apart. Married out of love. In the beginning they were judged, but once people got to know them together, it made sense. He acts like an old man, and she was energy.

Most people want to marry someone who is looking for similar things in life as them, and most people aren't looking for the same thing at 20 as they are at 40. That's why it's fairly rare to see big age gaps.

But of course there are times when an older person is more interested in "staying young," not having children, going to bars/clubs, and doing other things more typically associated with young 20-somethings. And some 20 year olds want to live a quiet life, have kids right away, do things more associated with 30s+ for many people. It makes sense that those people would find more people of other ages that they connect with.

And generally, the older you are the less side eye there is about age gaps, because the stuff important to you in some ways becomes more similar. People worry that a 20yo is going to get heart broken or screwed over by a 40yo. But if a 65yo dates a 45yo, people tend to be more accepting, as it's more likely they are both going into the relationship eyes wide open.