After Party Etiquette - Open bar?

No, you don't. After our wedding, everyone met up at the bar right across the street from the hotel. But it was very casual/word of mouth. I wouldn't send out formal after-party invitations because that could make it seem like it was going to be hosted. Just let people know and encourage them to pass the word along.

After our wedding, we told people we would be hanging out in the pub (onsite at the country club) for a little while if anyone wanted to join us. It was a lot more casual, nothing planned in advance, no light show, DJ, or pre-planned snacks. Anyone who stayed did buy their own drinks.

While I really believe that you don't have to have an open bar at the after party, the way you're planning it is giving it a feel of a second hosted party.

I'm doing the exact same thing as @Jacqui (pretty much, except we are renting out the bar tenders/juke box) and it will be a cash bar. But yours sound like a second reception, so people might be confused when they have to pay for drinks.

Yeah. It is definitely semi-hosted. We had to make our own fun. It's a small town without much of a late night scene or convenient cab service/uber. So, it had to be within walking distance of the hotel, have an outdoor space for cigar smoking, and be open late night. Nothing was open late night that fit the other two criteria, so we had to rent a space and it snowballed from there. I might have backed myself into a pickle here.

We did something sort of similar and did not host the bar. We had an after party at a nice hotel bar/lounge after our reception. At least 50 guests showed up and it was so fun. This bar routinely has live music on friday and saturday nights, so we didn't have to worry about entertainment. We reserved several tables and lounge areas ahead of time (though not the entire bar, it was still open to the public) and pre-ordered a bunch of apps & platters to have served on all the tables...and we brought the bottom layer of our wedding cake that was left over. I think everyone had a great time...it went on for about 5 hours (we had a daytime wedding...full open bar)!! Every time I turned around someone was putting a drink in my hand, so I don't think anyone was bothered by buying their own drinks at that point.

I think this depends....like PPs are saying, if it's a "meet us at such and such a bar downtown" situation, no. But you have rented a space and are serving food....If youre formally inviting people, you should host them.

That said, our plan is to provide the alcohol for our reception, then bring the leftovers back to the hotel for an after party in my parents' suite

@ELK I didn't even know you could rent out the jukebox! We did use it, but we shared with the other people in the pub. :-) We only had around 10-12 people in our after party.

We're planning on keeping the bar at the hotel open (extra $150) til 2am. Reception is Til 12. It'll be cash bar.

Personally, I dont think it needs to be an open bar. Yeah yours is a bit more organized but it's just extending an invite to hang out and party so I think you are fine if it's a cash bar scenario.

If you're not handing out formal invitations to it, I wouldn't worry about it being a cash bar. Especially since you are providing more food (people get hungry after dancing all night) I really don't think anyone will mind buying a drink.

I actually think you do need to host the bar because of the way you've gone about this. This is not a casual meet up. You are organizing everything from renting a room, to hiring a DJ, to providing late night snacks. This is a hosted party. Why would the bar be any different? It's no different than any other event that you are inviting people to where a cash bar would be unacceptable. I just don't see how a cash bar is acceptable here.

I personally would just never expected a hosted bar at an after-party if you just hosted open bar for 5 hours at the reception.

We don't NOT have the funds, but I don't want to spend the funds we do have frivolously, I guess. FH has a big, southern family. Apparently there is a way to do a wedding in the South. Welcome cocktail hour, rehearsal dinner with OOT guests invited, wedding/reception, after party, and sendoff brunch. I originally wanted to get married in the backyard of my parents' beach house and just have a Hawaiian BBQ and a band and twinkle lights. The weekend we have planned now is magical and we are very blessed to have families that want to celebrate with us. But holy freaking cow.

@Matt @Emily - I agree. I think my quiet inside voice is saying "You need to host this." And I was just hoping the outside voices would be like "No, let this one go." Hah.

No, I wouldn't. It's a after party they can fund their own

Typically, the "after party" is something casual - where people who want to, end up migrating to a local bar or the hotel bar. In that case, it's definitely not a hosted event. In your case though, you have rented out a bar and hired a DJ, AND are providing food- that sounds like a second reception to me, and now we're in gray area. I think it comes down to how you let people know about this - if you are sending out any type of invite for this after party, that makes it hosted. If it's something you mention in passing, like on the website or in the welcome bags, I think that makes it less formal and you could get away with not paying for an open bar. If that feels icky to you and you end up hosting - maybe you can pay for a consumption bar? After 5 hours of open bar, people may not even be drinking that much!

I don't think you need to pay for another open-bar. But because so much of it is planned/hosted, I would make it clear that there will be a cash bar at the after party. People might wind up thinking it's going to be an extension of your reception. They should assume, but people do.

Amy, you are a kind soul to do this with your FH. All I can say is, "Drink lots of coffee!" Oh, and I'm with everyone else-- spread the word casually, don't mention your paying for the jukebox and bartenders, and there's no reason you should pay. Have a blast!

@Zoe - Thanks. I always get teased by our friends because at any party after about 9:30pm I start trying to sneak away to a quiet place to go to sleep. "Suck it up, buttercup!"

@Fall - FH suggested the same thing! First round on us. His BM also suggested signature cocktails or hosted until midnight and then doing a last call round on the bride and groom. By the time it's after midnight, I can't imagine anyone besides our closest friends will still be hanging in there anyway. We have time to think about it. It's just an expensive question mark that plagues me.

I would usually would say no to this, but it really sounds like a second reception. Maybe spread by word of mouth that it isn't open bar?