Affording wedding - push back or cancel?

As for whether you should cancel/postpone, I think you should look at your finances. Add up a total of how much you'll both be able to save towards your wedding between now and the date that final payments are due, and then add up how much you'll owe for your wedding. Be sure to factor in things like taxes/fees, vendor tips, gratuity, etc. If it's more than what you will have saved, then I would consider postponing to a time that you feel you can comfortably save up enough by.

If you don't want to postpone, one way to quickly cut down on wedding expenses is to limit your guest count. By cutting out those who you aren't close with (friends of parents, acquaintances from your childhood who you haven't been close with lately, distant relatives who you haven't talked to in years, etc), you'll be able to save quite a bit on catering. Also look into pre-owned dresses - those are often new with tags, where the original owner either changed their mind on the dress, or cancelled their wedding, etc. Choose your top three aspects to splurge on (photography, catering, flowers, decor, etc), and then either cut other things out, or find a way to do them cheaper. Check with a local college for photography students who may be available to photograph your wedding for cheaper. Limit the amount of flowers used in your decor. Join Facebook wedding groups for searching for vendors and pre-owned wedding decor.

The June month is certainly a premium month for weddings. You may see if you can transfer the contract for the venue to another couple. It is rude for them to get extra profit when they easily get a separate booking. I doubt they have much investment into the preparation so far.

If you can schedule on a sunday or a weekday, the price would be better. One student bride seems to have found a great venue for $1000 or less. Sometimes people just get lucky. Maybe a community center, school, church, or park could work. The reception could be kept really informal with just simple refreshments/snacks and seating.

The best way to lower your budget is to reduce the number of guests you're inviting.

Don't take out a loan or put it on a credit card, you don't want to start your marriage out in debt.

If you don't want to lose your deposit (which I wouldn't want either), then I would recommend finding ways to cut costs.

Guest list - If you haven't sent save the dates yet, then I would try cutting down your guest list. For example, I would skip inviting co-workers or friends of your parents. I would also skip plus ones for people who are actually single (still make sure you are inviting all couples though).

Wedding dress - If you haven't gotten your dress already I would look for something used on either StillWhite or Facebook Marketplace or online. I know Kennedy Blue and Azazie have some very pretty dresses that aren't badly priced. Another option would be to see if you can find something off the rack. My wedding dress was a discontinued dress that the store was selling off the rack. It was only $200 and I loved it.

Food and drinks - I would see if you can change some things up to make this not so expensive. For example, instead of a full open bar only serve beer and wine. Another option would be to see if you buffet style would be cheaper than plated. I know it was with our wedding venue/caterer. Maybe serve 3 apps during cocktail hour instead of 4-5 or whatever your package offers. For the rehearsal, do something simple like pizza and wings. It doesn't have to be overly fancy or expensive. Your bridal party I'm sure would just be happy with something simple as a thank you.

Invitations - You could either design your own on Canva or buy an inexpensive template from Etsy then have them printed at Staples or Office Depot. It looks like a decent amount of wedding invitation templates are currently on sale on Esty so if you don't want to create your own now would be a good time to purchase one of the invitation templates. Walmart sells of card envelopes for rather inexpensively that you could use. To save on rsvps, I would create a wedding website that guests can go online to rsvp. Another option would be buying an invitation kit from a craft store like Michaels, but you'd have to print them yourself which could be time confusing and you'd have to use your own ink. If none of these options sound like something you'd want to do maybe look online and see what deals you can find. A lot of websites like VistaPrint, Zazzle, or Shutterfly constantly have deals. They might be especially good right now being that it's so close to Black Friday.

Flowers - I would either use fake or pick real ones that will be in season and easy to find. You could also do centerpieces that aren't florals.

Other items - With it being so close to Black Friday, you might be able to find other wedding items on sale. For example, if you want new wedding shoes you might be able to find them for a good price in stores or online.

As far as the venue deposit goes... consider the sunk cost fallacy when making a decision. Yes, it sucks to lose money - but..... when making your decision you should take into consideration how much more money you will "need" to spend because you don't give up the original venue.

Simple math example:

You "lose" $4,000. deposit by canceling. You move on and plan something else that you are more comfortable with and end up spending $6,000. Total cost: $10,000.

You decide to stick with the venue. You need to meet food/beverage minimums, spend more on decor/florals/entertainment/travel etc... and end up spending $28,000 more. Total cost: $32,000

Have a heart-to-heart about what is important to both of you and go from there. Good luck with the planning!

Have a smaller wedding with a smaller guest list of 50 or less. Eliminate wedding parties, as they add to the cost. If you do, Try having one person on each side like a best man and best woman.
Keep decor to a minimum. Guests don’t even notice most of it.
I would try to manage it down without losing your deposit and taking out loans.