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VIP May 2016

Advice - What to do when you can't get everyone's address???

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Debra, on July 15, 2015 at 8:26 AM

FH's family has NEVER had a big wedding for anyone and some have never attended a wedding. He has a HUGE family so it was shocking to me that they do not have the first clue about weddings (nothing, nada, zilch). We are having a formal wedding, church ceremony, catered dinner and dancing. My parents are hosting and our minimum catering expense will be $8000 at our venue. This is not a backyard BBQ or potluck in which anyone can just show up (or decide not to show up) at the last minute.

Ok, so here is my problem. I am having trouble getting addresses for some of his family members. His aunts keep telling me to just mail the STD and invitations to them for their whole family. They have adult children, with spouses, so it is no it is NOT appropriate for me to mail one invitation to an aunt to include her 5 children & their spouses! I also do NOT want to send 5 invitations to the aunt's address addressed "in care of." This is driving me crazy! What would you do?

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24 Comments

Master July 2015
annakay511 · on July 15, 2015 at 2:55 PM
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You simply need to INSIST. Get on the phone with these people yourselves, if you have to. Your FH and FMIL should be helping with this.
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VIP May 2016
Debra · on July 15, 2015 at 8:00 PM
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UPDATE - have now enlisted the help of an Aunt on FH father's side of the family to get the addresses from those family members. She totally understood where I was coming from, and said she will gather them within 2 weeks and send me an email with the list.

FMIL is dealing with her side of the family and said she will have the rest for me by next weekend because she will be at a family picnic.

FYI - We had been planning on attending that picnic (we live in MN and FH's family lives in IL), but work obligations have prevented us from going. That is how I originally planned to get addresses when we saw everyone in person.

So it looks like I may have jumped the gun a little...and things will work out.
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Master October 2015
Monica SC · on July 15, 2015 at 10:24 PM
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E-Tex beat me to it, but I totally agree.

Also, if I don't know someone well enough to either know their address or call them up (because I have their phone number) then they should not be attending my wedding. If your FH has called and texted and they have not responded then that is their loss. You should not have to kill yourself to get an address from someone.
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Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on July 15, 2015 at 10:55 PM
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We used Facebook, e-mail, and pretty much everything up to carrier pigeon. If your FH talks to his cousins on a regular basis, why can't he just ask them directly instead of going through his aunt?
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