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Master May 2014

Advice Need Re: Dry Wedding & Troublesome Guests

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Lacey, on July 19, 2013 at 9:36 PM

My FH and I opted to have a completely dry wedding. We don't drink and neither does my immediate family, so they much prefer we don't serve alcohol. However, my FH's family, tends to drink and both his mother and father are alcoholics. Our friends are sort of mixed on the idea of a dry wedding but we have both made it clear to our bridal party as well as his family members - if ANYONE brings alcohol in the party, they will be asked to leave. I guess it's our ultimatum to get them to listen to us for this one day.

Is this too...oh I don't know how to word it, rude, or just over the top? Am I going crazy?! It's our day and we know that if certain people drink they could potentially cause a scene. I need some guidance or advice and you are friendly and diverse folks. Any suggestions are welcome.

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43 Comments

Expert January 2014
SD53 · on July 21, 2013 at 9:50 PM
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@Jennifer L. Just because a person makes a big drunken scene at a wedding doesn't mean they are an alcoholic.

To the original poster, if you want a dry wedding, have one. However it may be hard to control what everyone of your guests are doing the whole time and it may take away from your enjoyment of your day. Talk to the problem people, stress to them how important it is to keep the party dry and hopefully they will respect that.
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Dedicated October 2014
Jennifer · on July 22, 2013 at 3:46 AM
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I work closely with clients with substance abuse and I'm going to stick by the first part of that sentence: "A person is an alcoholic when the drinking interferes with their lives and the lives of their friends and family." An example of that being outbursts and scenes--the second part of the sentence..

Someone could make a scene or have an outburst without having a singe drop of alcohol. However, someone so lacking in self control that they would do so at a wedding would still be suffering from some sort of psychological or behavioral condition.

If anyone has a friend or family member for which this is a regular occurrence, then I want to take a moment to assure you that it's not normal behavior. Whether it's an addiction or a mental health problem, they need professional help if you can persuade them to get it. If not, then they need your understanding and anything you can do to help mitigate. What Lacey is doing is showing sensitivity and compassion to her family's health issue.
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Super November 2013
SA Bride! · on July 22, 2013 at 5:25 AM
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I don't think you are being crazy at all- it's YOUR wedding, it's not wrong to want it done your way but you do have to consider (only a little bit) those who drink (after all, they are your guests).

For example, it's only myself and my younger sister that doesn't drink in our WHOLE families (even Granny enjoys her wine). My fiance and his friends can drink themselves silly and there are a lot of people who enjoy a beer/ wine with their food.

For our wedding, we are only having a bottle of champagne per table and that is THAT- I am not going to pay for anyone to get drunk.

Maybe you can have one bottle per table and once it's finished then that's it. You also don't want to be helping alcoholics get their "fix".
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