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Beginner October 2019

Advice for a groomsman +1 situation

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TPFlightlife, on July 17, 2019 at 11:28 PM

Hello Beauties, We're having a bit of a dilemma. We're having a small (compared to our family size) destination wedding (60 people just outside of Tuscany). Our wedding is in 100 days. One of the groomsman, let's call him Dale, just let my fiance know he was planning on bringing his girlfriend of 1...

Hello Beauties,

We're having a bit of a dilemma. We're having a small (compared to our family size) destination wedding (60 people just outside of Tuscany). Our wedding is in 100 days. One of the groomsman, let's call him Dale, just let my fiance know he was planning on bringing his girlfriend of 1 month. My fiance clarified that unfortunately we don't have the space to add a last minute guest, particularly a girl we've never met.

Dale is INSISTENT, going so far as to write a pleading 1+ page email that he is madly in love with this girl and apparently she's already taken off from work and moved around another vacation in order to come?!! We're honestly not sure how to proceed. We let him know that it's not personal, we just can't have anymore people and if space were to open up, we have a list of 30+ B-list friends and family who'd get the call first.

Typical we would be open to our wedding party having plus ones but we already were able to invite a few B-list guests because all of the groomsmen were single (And we're 3 months out!). Any advice on how to tackle this is appreciated. (And for clarification I am absolutely not open to the idea of "squeezing" her in. I literally left out close family because we don't have space.)

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42 Comments

Master October 2019
Jolie · on July 19, 2019 at 11:45 AM
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Given the situation and the fact that he already RSVP'd NO to an additional guest he simply can't backtrack after your limited venue space count is already decided. If you had to ax family members already then it is what it is. She could totally still go on the trip with him. I don't agree that the bridal party needs to have a plus one. Sorry it's my wedding and we decided no plus ones for anyone. We did accommodate my bridesmaid for having a boyfriend after STDs went out but it's one person for a local event that doesn't have much limitation on space. We are making it work. I can understand how it doesn't work for your situation though. Fair is fair, he RSVP'd with himself no one else.
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Devoted May 2020
Bride2020 · on July 22, 2019 at 2:58 PM
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I don't see why people are freaking out about what you've done. I'm obviously not for b lists, no one is, but it was perfectly fine in your destination situation, and a super small cap. And of course your invites are already out and need returned by now, it's a destination wedding?? I agree with some previous posters: Let him know youre sorry she can't be at the wedding, but you'd love to pay for her to have a spa night while he attends if she so chooses to come to tuscany to enjoy with him. It sucks that it puts you out $50 bucks, but it will make her feel a little less isolated while she waits.
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