Advice: choosing wedding party and sending save the date.

I went with ppl that will be helpful, loving, and dependable and I asked my party 3 or 4 months after I got engaged... send your save the dates out a month between a 1yr or 10 months be4 so they can start preparing...

I would wait until around 10-12 months out before choosing wedding party. Relationships can and do change, and you likely won't regret waiting to ask. Asking wedding party in Summer 2021 would probably be a good time!


As for Save The Dates, those are typically sent 6-8 months ahead of time, though for a destination wedding or a wedding with a lot of international guests, I would send those a little sooner, maybe 8-12 months in advance, so it couldn't hurt to send those sometime in Summer 2021.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the advice! I’ll keep those qualities in mind as I decide on my party!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the advice. So overall sounds like I should wait until this summer to do anything. I guess I’m just a little too excited


Thanks again!

I probably would wait about a year out before choosing a wedding partt3

Considering the countless threads of 'I picked the wrong bridesmaid', make it easy on everyone. No one needs to be asked prior to 6 months before the wedding. There are no duties that they are responsible for earlier than that.


Also *only* pick your bestest closest most supportive people at that time. Do not ask someone on the basis of pleasing anyone but yourself. Being a bridesmaid for them in the past is moot. Same applies for 6th grade best friend you rarely talk to anymore, and all friends and family. Do not let anyone pressure you or decide for you.
Save the dates are sent anywhere from 6-12 months before the wedding when all particulars are set in stone (date, location, guestlist) because once they are sent, you cannot revoke them. The guest list is decided along with budget before the venue is booked. All of that is done before the wedding party is picked and asked.
Invites are sent 6-8 weeks before the wedding in the US and 10-12 weeks before for international.

View Quoted Comment There are many things you can work on between now and this summer! Look for vendors (photographer, DJ, etc), take your engagement photos if you plan to use them for the Save The Dates, start looking at dresses online, look online for general ideas and decorations, etc!

View Quoted Comment You are very welcome I'm glad I can help

I agree with Lisa- wait until the 9 month mark to ask your wedding party. You can send the STDs around the 10 month -1 yr mark. You don’t need your wedding party to send them out- the STD is just a general heads up with the day & venue name/location.

I would wait a while to choose your wedding party. You never know what can happen in the next year & a half. I asked my bridal party to be a part of my day around 9 months before my wedding.
As far as save the dates, since you have several international guests, I think 10-12 months would be fine.

I guess I'm in the minority because I chose my wedding party right away. My bridesmaids were my VIPs, so I felt I had to ask them before settling on a date, in order to make sure they could make and save the date! And it's a good thing I did, because one bridesmaid was invited to another person's wedding (who she was close with) the same day as mine. If you're sure you know who you want I'd ask now and not wait, but if you're not sure I'd wait to ask anyone. You should ask all at the same time, otherwise there may be hurt feelings if one person finds out they were asked later than the others.

View Quoted Comment

I also chose mine and asked almost right away. For my group of girls, I have 3 best friends, one of which who has been my best friend since we were 5 so I don't think she's going anywhere, one who has been my best friend since college, so 12 years for her and same thing, don't think she's going anywhere, and my last best friend I've known for 10 years. My other girls are my cousin, who is obviously family so I doubt we'll have a fallout since we never have before, and a really good mutual friend of ours who has been incredibly supportive. I know some people say there can be fallouts, but if you historically don't have those kinds of relationships with the people you want to ask, I say why not. My girls have all been extremely helpful to me.

As far as save the dates....we are sending ours out hopefully by February for our November wedding. We have people from out of state invited so we want to make sure we gave them ample time to request time off and make travel plans if they do choose to come (and if covid allows it).