Adults-only wedding .. Can an exception be made for one child?

It is usually considered rude to make exceptions. If you don’t like using her as a flower girl, I would maybe “bend” your rule to say no kids under 10years old? This way you can allow her but don’t worry about babies/toddlers?

I mean there are no rules around this per se. If you want to make the exception I would say go for it. You don’t need to explain this to any other guests.

I’m in a similar situation.

My fiancé and I decided to make our 2 sets of nieces flower girls, then have my two teen cousins be ushers for the ceremony. Other than that we have no close friends or family who are children who I feel I want at the wedding. We do have cousins who are babies, but their parents are understanding and don’t want to bring a baby to a wedding regardless.

I think if there is 1 special circumstance that’s fine. It’s your wedding, things come up and people shouldn’t judge. However, if you start making more than one exception and a small herd of children develops, yet some children aren’t invited that’s when I would consider it rude and some hurt feelings could happen

Are they the only ones with kids that have to travel? If so, I think that's just fine. As others have said you could also make the cut off 10years instead of adult.

We have a bunch of friends and family with very small kids that had to travel, so we chose to invite all kids. We had 4 babies under 1 year old, a 3 year old, 5 year old 2 8 year olds and a bunch 10 and over. Everyone had a blast and it definitely didn't kill the vibe at all. I enjoyed dancing with the kids too.
However, everyone is different and I support those who go for an adult only event....just wanted to give you hope in case you do invite kids.

I had a similar issue...my cousin has two kids and since he and his wife live a ways away I knew that inviting him would mean he may not come or he may want to bring his kids who are young.

It's all in how you address your invitations. I addressed mine as "Mr. Blah and family" this means he can bring whomever he wants. He ended up calling my mother and asking if his kids were allowed. My mother told him that he can bring them if he thinks they'll enjoy it or he can hire a babysitter. My mother also told him to be aware that the music and ceremony doesn't have children in mind so it's up to his and his wife's discretion. He's coming with his family. I'm sure he'll leave early but at least he's coming and I didn't have to exclude him.

I don't think it needs to be a hard and fast rule. Just address your invitations accordingly.

My fiancé and I had a VERY similar situation. We wanted adults only, but when my cousin and her 7 year old daughter moved in felt we had to re-evaluate. We chose not to use her as a flower girl, but my thought was a group of children will entertain each other while the adults have fun, rather than having to constantly monitor one lonely child. We have about 10 kids coming ranging from ages 7-16.

On one hand it is your wedding and you can do whatever you want, but the reality is I think people will get their feelings hurt if they are told not to bring their child and then see the ten-year-old. Making her part of the wedding ceremony as a flower girl or bridesmaid solves that problem because everyone immediately understands she is close family. Even if in your mind you have great reasons, you won’t get a chance to explain them to all your guests, so having her as per of the wedding party is a good way to signal her status as close family.

I find it extremely rude for people to tell you what you can and cannot do at YOUR OWN wedding. We love our guests, thats obviously why we’re inviting them, but we don’t owe them explanations about any of the decisions we make for OUR wedding.
It’s your wedding. You make the rules. You get to decide what you allow.

I definitely dont want children crying or running around during our ceremony and like you said we don't want the reception to feel like a daycare either. We can't have an adult only wedding because pretty much everyone in my family has young children and some of his side too. My FH and I have decided on providing child care. My MOH is going to ask her aunts to see if they'll be willing to look after the children, which will make it a lot cheaper than hiring a child care company.

I also said no kids at my wedding, but with the exception of my nieces. I made them flower girls to smooth everything over. People also understood that this is my wedding, and it is my dream and vision.

I think it’s 100% okay, we’re having a high school and up wedding as my only cousins are still in high school and we’re really close, that being said my little sister is coming to my wedding as she is my sister, you said he’s basically a brother to you so it’s a different situation. We had the same thing at my FH sisters wedding where it was no plus ones no dates, I was the only date allowed as I was the Brides Brothers girlfriend and we had a relationship

We are having an adults only wedding. My brother has 4 kids 5 and under and my cousin has a 2 year old. Since we are having such a small wedding, it would be a total distraction for the kids. My mom, aunt, and brother and sister in law would be focused on the kids the whole time. If this were 4 years ago, we definitely would have had just my nephew there but all the kids together is kind of a circus. Bottom line though, it's your wedding and you invite who you want, people are always going to find something to complain about.

She’s ten, she could be a junior bridesmaid. People can’t argue about who’s in your bridal party.

We’re having an adults only wedding - with the exception of my MOH’s 10 year old. For absolutely no reason other than I look at him as my nephew and I want him there (if his parents decide to bring him, they may not). I have just one other friend invited who has two elementary age kids. I don’t know her kids though, so they aren’t invited. Will I catch hell for that from some people? Probably.

If you incorporate her into the wedding party, you can still get away with an adults only wedding, without other exceptions. That’s how I’m incorporating my niece’s two kids. A flower girl & ring bearer. Even though I wasn’t planning on having either.

I’m in a similar situation with my wedding. My fiancé is from Utah so 75% of guests have children, and unfortunately we can’t afford to accommodate everyone (it would probably be ~100 kids alone, no joke!) We have asked his 13 yr old niece to be a junior bridesmaid, his 5 yr old niece to be our flower girl, and his 3 yr old nephew to be the ring bearer (all from different siblings, so 3 families). We decided to invite their siblings as well, so to wrap up this very complicated math problem, we limited the invite to just nieces and nephews. We’re already receiving blowback from his aunts and other guests who have kids, so it’s a difficult reality to check. The last thing we want to do is offend people, but it’s unavoidable due to limited space and money. The alternative of not inviting people with children would have just shifted the reason for why their insulted, so there’s really no win in my book. Sadly, we’re just going to have to make apologies to anyone with hurt feelings, but not let them spoil the day with drama.

Making her the flower girl is the perfect solution to this dilemma! I’m sure everyone would understand why an exception was made for a member of the bridal party. I don’t think, however, that people would be ok with selectively allowing someone’s child to come and not theirs.

It’s your wedding. Don’t tell anyone and tell your cousin to do the same. Our wedding is adult only also and I don’t feel bad about that. I don’t want to be watching for little people as I’m enjoying myself and my drink. The child will be there and no one dare say a thing to you about it.

I did an adults only wedding except my 3 kids which were in the wedding party flower girl whos 12 yrs old and our 2 sons 4 yrs and 2 yrs old other then that no kids were allowed and everyone was ok with that ! Its your day you get to.choose who will be there no one else does if you want the one child there thats your choice! But there shouldnt be any drama idk your family but its a wedding they should be understanding.