Adults-only wedding .. Can an exception be made for one child?

If you make one exception, you will be asked to make others. I think that your mother’s suggestion of making her the flower girl is a great suggestion if it’s something you’re comfortable with.

Can you do family only kids? That is what we did for much of the same reason. We didn't want too many littles running around. We had a 17 year old, a 9 year old, a 13 year old, a 10 year old, and a 5 month old. The 13 year old and 10 year old were in the wedding and the 5 month old is their sibling. We also invited my other cousins, and had they come, there would have been a 16 year old, 14 year old, 12 year old, and 10 year old in addition to the kids we had already invited.

View Quoted Comment We have four friends who just had babies this spring so they’ll be a little over one by the time we get married. Our siblings don’t have children yet. Our cousins who do have children are very young (the majority are 3-years-old and younger) with my one cousins daughter being the exception (she’s 9 now but will be 10 when we get married). So that’s part of our dilemma- our friends/family with children have babies.

You can make the exception for as many or as few as you want, it's your wedding. No one would know you even made an exception for someone until the day of anyways, and who would come up to the bride on the wedding day and complain about not bringing their kids? My two nieces are the only children we are allowing and they're also our flower girls, so that works out, but they don't have to be a part of the ceremony to make an exception if you don't want that. For the wedding website I would just say "adults only event".

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Hmmm. In this case, I would just have the 10 year old cousin as a flower girl and the 19 year old is an adult so you shouldn't get any flack for that. That is really the only way to do it without people being miffed.

Unless the child is in the wedding party or the only family member, it is considered rude to only make one exception to the others that would have wanted to bring their children. Would you be able to offer daycare for the child? A local friend might have a suggestion for you.

As for putting adult only wedding, I wouldn't recommend that either. Instead address the invitations to each adult you wish to invite, then add something to your website that invitations are intended for addressees only. You can talk to your cousin one on one about solutions.

We experienced this with my sister’s wedding this past weekend. If you make one exception others will ask. Those that see the child at the wedding will be upset because they were not able to bring their children. My sister hired one of the 17 year old nieces to watch a couple of the kids at a nearby hotel. My 8 year old son wasn’t even an exception because I didn’t want to cause her more problems. Perhaps you can hire a sitter like she did for out of town guests.

I've always had the mindset of "adult only means adult only". If I was invited to an adult only wedding, found childcare for my kids, then showed up to the wedding to find a certain person(s) was allowed to bring their child, I think I would be a bit put off. We opted for an adult only wedding and are not having a FG or RB.

I think I would go with making her a flower girl to avoid any issues honestly. People might be upset they couldn’t take their kids. I mean I totally get where you are coming from and you should be able to invite who you want but unfortunately people get sensitive 😕

I actually think this is totally fine. But then I’m a rule breaker and I think etiquette and what’s right or wrong is not always black and white. The truth is no one is going to know you have the exception until they see the kids on the wedding day. They’re out of town guest and a 10 year old is a big kid and the 19 year old is not a kid anymore. I say make it an all adult wedding and have them as the exception. I wouldn’t even do the flower girl if this is not what you envision. If you want to make her a “part” of the wedding you can have her give out programs or welcome people in the front.

It’s your wedding, you can do what you what. Besides, there is a HUGE difference between a ten year old and a baby. If she is the only child other than your friends babies, you could word your invites to say no small children please. Or you could say that you’re only allowing her because she is immediate family. Either way, allowing a ten year old is not going to be as noticeable as when there’s a bunch of toddlers taking over the dance floor. I have a son who is eleven now, and I am never insulted or upset when he’s not invited to weddings, even if there is other children there. If it’s not my wedding, it’s not up to me to decide if he’s invited. I also have never expected anyone to get a sitter for me for their wedding. Honestly, if the invitations are just written out to Mr. & Mrs. whomever, and not family, it should be a given that theirs kids are not invited. I think it’s more rude for them to ask and push the issue of bringing their kids then for you to allow one child.

Guests get the least offended when the wedding is adult only with the exception of wedding party members. A regular invited guest being allowed to bring their child would make someone mad and I think that's really dumb but if you don't want to deal with that.. i would go with making her flower girl

I agree with PPs. If you make an exception for one child, parents are going to be upset that theirs weren't invited. It's a great idea to make her part of your bridal party to avoid any hurt feelings!

Why don't you want her as a FG? Can you make her a junior bridesmaid? Or can your cousin be a groomsman (or bridesman...that's new, but people do it). If he is part of the wedding party, having his child attend is expected.

Whatever you do decide, stick with it. There will likely be other people who will make you feel a certain way about it.

We are doing adult only, as well....and who would have thought....we ticked off a lot of people lol.

I think an exception could be made here since one of the "kids" coming is 19. I think it woukd be weird to invite the family and ine of their children but not the other because of the age. If the 10 year old was in a separate family then I would say not to make the exception. Since its within a family unit it might be okay? How do you tell them to invite one of their children but leave the other home?

Were doing a adult only reception also. Only children will be our immediate neices and nephews. They are as important as there parents too us. Literally maybe 1 table. You break it to people nicely....but yes if you want that child there do it. You are the hbic. Memories last forever. Would you miss the child being near you??

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. You & FS can make as many exceptions as you want. It’s ur wedding. If ppl complain oh well, ‘tis is life. Honestly most ppl who complain would complain about anything.

We're only inviting the children of people from out of state, and two 18 year olds (my brother and my godmothers daughter). We don't want a bunch of 2-8 year olds running around

I feel like the only way to make it fair to have her as an “exception to the rule” is to have her in the bridal party. Or else it’s just not fair and people may get upset

Having sort of the same situation. We are going with an adults only wedding/reception but my FH would like an exception for his 2 younger nephews (will be 10 and 9 when we get married). Not having RB and FG in the wedding party. Being that he'd like to make this exception I said what about your other nieces and nephews and he said, he's closer to these 2 nephews. I said, you can't do that. It will be a battle with his family; no one holds their tongue on things. While yes it is our day someone will say something. He stands up for himself as well but to not have to deal with the drama I "gently" mentioned to him, that it is added stress and why deal with that. We love all the kids and we'd love to have them but I know certain people will get turned off and have something to say. Not to mention, with our venue, we have to pay for kids. That's a bit pricey and we're covering the cost of the wedding ourselves. In your situation and anyone's situation, having a FG and RB in your wedding party is fine; they are apart of the wedding...you guys should re-think the 10-year old and have her as your FG since they are out of state; someone else mentioned it too, the 19-year old is an adult and she shouldn't be a problem. That would be a solve for me and you can still have an adult guest wedding.