Beginner April 2020

Adding Bridesmaids... Is it too late to ask?

Kesha, on August 17, 2019 at 9:59 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
. We were engaged in May and are getting married in November of this year so it's been a pretty whirlwind and super accelerated engagement. So I have two friends that I want to add to my bridal party. One of them I asked earlier and she declined because she had other weddings to attend around the same time; now she's saying she can. The other person I just recently became closer than we have before. She has been really helpful in my planning process without me even asking and continues to do so. She helped me finally find my wedding dress. The women that I want standing next to me is not just about lifelong connections. These are women I know who willl support me, encourage, and pray for me going forward in and though my marriage. They've been so helpful through this process that I'd like to ask them to be a bridesmaid but I don't want it to seem like a "sympathy" ask. How do I do that without it making it seem that way and is it too late?


Latest activity by Mary, on August 17, 2019 at 2:20 PM
  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    For the woman who declined and changed her mind, I don’t see any harm in asking her now. It won’t seem like a sympathy ask because you already asked at the appropriate time. But for the friend you’ve gotten closer to, I’d say it’s too late to ask.
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  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
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    I agree, the second woman will feel like a B list afterthought.

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  • Kesha
    Beginner April 2020
    Kesha ·
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    I guess I don't want to ask the first and not the second knowing she's been so helpful and supportive more than anyone of my other bridesmaids. Including my maid of honor who was moving out of state before I even got engaged. #thestruggleisreal
    • Reply
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    This is so true. Please don't risk making your friend feel like she wasn't good enough to be asked the first time!

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  • Mary
    Expert July 2019
    Mary ·
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    Normally I'd say it's rude, but I might have to go against the grain on this one. I think for the second case, it depends on the type of friendship you have. If you communicate that you appreciate how much help she has been in the whole planning process and want to invite her to join the wedding party to honor her contributions, I don't think this would be offensive. Especially if, as you described, your friendship has evolved very recently. How far is your bridal party in the pre-wedding festivities (e.g. bachelorette, showers, etc.)?
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