A/B/C List

EXTREMELY rude. Please don't even consider this.

I thought a B list was rude, but there is also a C list? Wtf?

I wasn't but FH was. A friend of mine was getting married. I received an invite addressed to just me (we lived together at that point). Another married friend was invited and her husband wasn't included either. I asked my friend and her response was "if we have a decline he can come". Decided right there I wouldn't be going to the wedding.

I do not have one and would never consider one. As you and pp's have said, it's extremely rude.

I was a B-listed & did not attend the wedding. They saw me out with mutual friends at the bar & handed me an invite?!?

All articles I had read about this made sure to point out that you should do this in a way that no on would know they were B-listed...good luck with that, I say :o

I don't nor would I ever have one. I've never been B-listed myself either and probably would not attend if I found out I was.

Just think about how you would feel if you were "last" in line to receive something if others had declined. And there's your answer. AKA, no. Don't do it.

They're rude and I would never consider one.

I do not have a B list or C list. However, I am one of the few on here that actually wouldn't be offended if I were on a B list. For some reason, I just don't care enough about the fact that I didn't make the first cut of guests.

I'm pretty sure I'm on one of my coworker's B lists. I don't even want to go so she really shouldn't feel obligated lol. She keeps telling me she'll bring the invitation, but a couple other people at work got a save the date lol. It's so rude but I literally wouldn't go if I was on the A list...we barely talk!

My FH thinks B listing is fine. He will not be in charge of sending out invitations.

@beach my FH also thought we could B-list a couple friends. I shot that down. Said if they weren't making their first cute, they weren't that close of friends. (Which they're not, so it was all good.)

I always thought a "B-list" was at the verrrrrryyyy beginning of planning when you scratch out a guest list and wrote down people you want to invite but didn't quite make it on the actual list. . So I always thought, how is that rude? No one knows! It wasn't until I saw people talking about it here that I saw it actually involved sending invites.... heck no.

I've been b listed I think. Basically the STD and invite came the same week. Lol! It didn't bother me. We went to the wedding and had amazing time.

We had a b list at first but didn't b list anyone. We had an A list of people we had to have at the wedding and then a B list of people we wanted at the wedding. Our venue has a 150 person minimum we had to meet so we did end up moving some people to the A list. Everyone got their STD at the same time. I guess it was more of an internal B list.

FH was B-listed for my cousins wedding when we were in college. Because we were so young I didn't expect him to be invited at all. It was a little awkward when my cousin called me to tell me he could come.

We didn't do it, but honestly I wouldn't care if I was B-listed. I understand having big families and having to invite them when you don't want to. I'd rather get to go no matter how it happens. I'm probably in the minority on this, though.

We sort of did this when planning, we wrote out a "People we MUST MUST MUST invite because they are our absolute dearest" list and a "People we would LOVE to celebrate with" list. When we decided on inviting 30 people, we took our 'must invite' list and added the people on the 'really want to invite' list until we were at 30.

THAT SAID, once we send out STDs it is set in stone and we will NOT be adding anyone in to "fill in" for declines because WOW rude.

I have been a B list invitee before and I felt like it was super rude. But still went and had a great meal and some great drinks. Didn't spend as much on a gift though...

We will not be having any B or C lists but I was just surprised how many articles that I came across saying that it was ok to do. They made one point I agreed with about how there is the "required" family members and once they decline you can invite your friends. I guess we were rude bishes and skipped some "required" family members and invited the people we wanted there.

Wait, how exactly are these articles defining A/B/C lists? Because I have seen some very valid, etiquette-approved advice on how to build a guest list using ranked importance. "A list" would be people who absolutely, positively need to be there: close family members and best friends, AKA your VIPs. Then the "B list" is one tier down from that: extended family, your friend group beyond your few most intimate besties. "C list" is the "if we had no limitations" list: family friends, coworkers, acquaintances who are a blast at parties. This is a tool to drill down into your guest list in the very earliest stages of planning. Then when you proceed, everyone gets invited equally and at the same time.

Obviously sending a second round of invitations once people decline is hella rude and not okay.

Yup. I got a text invite from an acquaintance THE DAY OF his wedding. I said I was busy (I wasn't).