Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Savvy September 2022

a Safe Space for the Unconventional Weddings

StephSparkles, on June 30, 2022 at 3:26 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 8

Saved

Flag
Hide content

After reading so many comments about what a travesty having a gap in-between your ceremony and cocktail hour is, I was terrified that no one was going to want to come to our wedding. Why? Because, brace yourselves: there's a 7 hour gap between our ceremony and cocktail hour/reception.

The reasons for this were mostly selfish, but as time went on and things fell into place, having a morning ceremony and an evening reception was the best for everyone.
Maybe it's the culture of our friend group and that our families are graciously understanding, or maybe it's because guests that aren't local will have a hotel room, but amazingly we have had ZERO push back from anyone about the schedule of the day! We've actually been thanked for the rest time so they can all be ready to party at the reception.
So if any of you are in the position that I was in, reading nothing but negativity about how you want to spend YOUR DAY, here's your safe space for all of it. I would love to hear other people's unconventional ways of spending their special day!
(I'm also willing to answer any questions!)

Flag
Hide content

8 Comments

Latest activity by StephSparkles, on July 6, 2022 at 8:40 AM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 30, 2022 at 4:00 PM
Flag

Hide content
At the end of the day your guests come to celebrate you
people will always have some kind of opinion that may differ from yours, but that's ok because you still have to do what's best for you
- Reply
VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on June 30, 2022 at 7:27 PM
Flag

Hide content
For me personally, when it comes to the gap between the ceremony or reception, I actually really enjoy having either a very modest gap (i.e. the time between end of ceremony and start of cocktail hour allows travel time between venues with a small buffer) or a very large gap like you are having as that means I could go home and run errands (or nap!) before the reception so I'm actually surprised you got such pushback on the forums for it!
In any case, at the end of the day, if people want to (and can) celebrate with you, they will come and do so, regardless of the particulars
- Reply
Super October 2019
W-K · on July 1, 2022 at 2:28 PM
Flag

Hide content
Ceremony gaps are pretty common especially for those getting married in a church because you are at the mercy of the church's calendar. You do you! I wouldn't mind a gap if it was someone I loved.
- Reply
Champion November 2054
Jacks · on July 2, 2022 at 3:32 PM
Flag

Hide content
What I've seen a lot with a gap this size is that people may opt to skip the ceremony. As long as you're OK with that.
There is a lot of talk around here about "your day", but really once you involve other people their needs need to be considered as well.
- Reply
Savvy September 2022
StephSparkles · on July 2, 2022 at 4:38 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I think that's what most people need to remember, both couples and guests. The day really is about the couple, not the guest.

Seeing as no one is being forced to come to our day, I hope people would be adult enough to RSVP accordingly. I was preparing for people to choose one or the other; the verbiage on our website is very clear and concise and we have separate RSVPs for both the ceremony and the reception, but so far everyone says they're coming to both. I've talked to most guests about it, almost approaching it apologetic. But again, no one has said anything negative about it and most have appreciated it.
It is our day and anyone who doesn't want to spend it with us the way we would like to spend it is more than welcome to stay home and not be involved. No harm, no foul; no hard feelings.
- Reply
Master October 2023
Cece · on July 2, 2022 at 4:56 PM
Flag

Hide content
Personally, I wouldn’t mind a gap this large. One of my close friends did this. She had the ceremony in one town late morning, then had the reception in another town (about an hour away) at 7:00 that evening. Since we had to be up so early to get ready for the wedding (I was MOH) it was great being able to drive to the next town, check into my hotel suite, and relax. I took a nice little nap, then ordered room service and watched Hocus Pocus (it was a Halloween wedding) from my big comfy hotel bed, and still had time to take a long shower and get ready for the party that evening.
Weddings with short gaps (1-3 hours) between ceremony and reception are super annoying and inconvenient. And weddings that have the ceremony on one day and the reception on another day are also super inconvenient. But what you’re describing doesn’t sound bad at all. Plus, if guests can’t make both, they have the option to attend one event or the other.
- Reply
VIP October 2022
Paige · on July 5, 2022 at 6:17 PM
Flag

Hide content
YES TO ALL OF THIS!!!
Some people on these forums get super snarky about gaps (among other things), but until I came here I thought gaps were totally normal, especially for church weddings where the timing isn't in your control, and I'd certainly never imagine being rude to someone about it (either to their face or behind their back) when they're paying thousands of dollars for the day.
The people who care about you will continue to do so after your wedding, and if something small like having to entertain yourself for a few hours is enough to poison the well, then that well probably wasn't worth drinking from in the first place.
I've had friends who had cash bars, family members whose weddings had gaps, and any number of faux pas committed. I paid for my drinks or found something to do for a few hours, had a great time, and continue to care about those people without question.
- Reply

Savvy September 2022
StephSparkles · on July 6, 2022 at 8:40 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Lol I think our friends will be more disappointed in the cash bar, as well, but.... Sorry but sorry, we're not made of money and I never expect to just be taken care of at a wedding, so to speak. So to all those snarky peeps... Don't go to weddings just to get free stuff maybe haha.

PLUS, I feel like people paying for their own drinks keeps the all around drunkenness down. It's all fine to have a good time, but I don't need a bunch of sloppy drunks at my wedding (that would be more my family than friends haha).
- Reply