A moment of silence

A minute sounds shorter than it actually is when you're just sitting in silence. I would probably opt for a bit shorter. But what you could do is grab a stop watch and try it out.. see what feels uncomfortably long and what feels too abrupt.. As long as you avoid those extremes, I'm sure no one will even think about it exactly how long it was.. so pick somewhere in the middle and I'm sure it'll be great.

Definitely only a minute, it is much longer than you think. We used to do it at 11am on Remembrance Day and it goes on forever.

30 seconds should be fine IMO. Try just sitting and timing yourself and see what different lengths of time feel like. If you feel uncomfortable sitting for a certain length of time, guests probably would too.

30 seconds to a minute should be fine. another thing you could do if you are having programs is to print a nice poem about remembrance in your program and ask everyone to read it in silence.

Ladylee, that's a really good idea. Only thing is because FH and I aren't religious, we want to give the people that are their chance to say a prayer. For us, for our family members, whatever. Do you think something like that would distract them?

Well my thought is that people who are religious should already be prayed up before they come to your wedding. I know that sounds funny but seriously, if you two are not religious then don't worry about interjecting time into your ceremony for other people to pray. They should do that on their own time. Your ceremony should be reflective of you and FH (although it's really sweet of you to consider it. it's very thoughtful).

That's a good point. Thank you.

Do you know where I could find some kind of memorial poem or something of the sort? It's my grandad on my dad's side and my grandma on my mom's side who both passed last year.

I'd been looking for a memorial candle to light for FH's dad. One of the sites I saw had a lot of poems to choose from. I can't find it off hand but I'll keep looking. I thought I would have saved it to my favorites but I'm not finding it just now. It's similar to this but there's one site that has quite a few poems

http://www.personalizationmall.com/Personalized-Wedding-Memorial-Candle-Never-Forgotten-Design-i23993.item?productid=7381&storeid=7&categoryid=1154&did=5548&utm_source=GoogleBase&utm_medium=cpc

We had a family bring in a large bell and hammer which was rung once for each loved one, it was lovely and just the right amount of time.

What we are doing we are going to have some flowers with the loved ones name tied to it with a ribbon and we are going to be placeing them in a vase and the officiant is going to be explaining it to everyone we both thought this was a very beautiful idea to remember the lost loved ones and its not religious or anything you might want to think about that as well we are also going to have a table set a side with pics of the lost loved ones