A bit pissed off..

I'd be really annoyed too. I have seen very often where members of the grooms side (fam/friends) who don't know the bride well don't end up going, but this is different. Not only are these women married to men in your BP, but they've been your friends for years. You have every right to be upset, especially since you go to all of their events. It is both a friendship & common courtesy thing.

However, you can't actually say anything without coming off as rude or seeming gift grabby. It's unfortunate but your best bet is to vent to us or others you're super close with, get it out of your system & move past it.

I might be hurt about it, because it's sad that they aren't going to be making it. But there's no way of knowing why they said no. Before getting angry about it, it might help to find out why. There might be very legitimate reasons!

I'd be mad too. It seems like you are the type that try's to go above and beyond for others doing your best to go to all events. It really sucks when people don't show the same respect for you! ( I am the same way try my best to go where I'm invited, and often ppl don't do it back) could you mention it to FH? Ask him to ask the guys why their wife's / gf can not attend. I can understand a few but all 6 can't come??

Thank you ladies. I am the type of person that always goes out above & beyond~ that's just me. I can't confront my FH because I'm not supposed to know about it. it's very bothersome to me that all of the women whom id like to consider my friends would simply decline. I'm glad you ladies are here thank you again. I need to shake this off & move on, but it sucks.

I think I'd be annoyed, but I always give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they had something else to do.

I'm an "above and beyonder" too. Keep doing what you want/what you think is right and try not to worry about the choices others make (easier said than done).

I'm sorry to hear that. I'd be upset too. Like the other ladies said, I'm not sure what you can do about it, but I feel for you!

I'm sorry you're feeling hurt by these ladies. I know how you feel -- I always go above and beyond for my friends too. I've learned that the trouble with that, though, is our disappointment when they don't come through for us in return. But I'm with Tina-- we just have to keep doing what we do, because we choose to, and let it roll off our backs when others don't do the same. At the same time, sometimes it's important to evaluate whether it's worth it to continue to go above and beyond for the people who consistantly let you down. Not to say that you cut them out of your life or anything, but sometimes you need to prioritize.

I would be totally bummed too. I do whatever it takes to be there for friends events and things too.

Thank you all~ such great advice!

Maybe they haven't RSVPed yet? Are they the type of people that do stuff on time? It sounds like you guys are rather close, maybe they are planning to do something for you separately?

I think you have a right to feel a little upset, but I'd wait to see if they actually don't come to the shower and/or don't do something for you alone.

My coworker had a baby shower hosted by her family, but none of us attended because we hosted on for her at work. And we're pretty close. So I just say that to say, they might have a pleasant reason for not coming.

I understand how you feel. It's not fun to not be reciprocated when it comes to things like this. I wouldn't take it personally. Are you sure they are just not coming? Were they on the "haven't RSVPed" yet list? Sometimes that just means they'll be a straggle you have to round up in the end for an answer. Don't worry about it. You win some and you lose some.

I would be pissed but try to remember it is really their loss. I'm the same way and I finally had to accept the fact that I do things for others because its the kind of person I want to be.

I would be really upset/pissed off too. Have you said anything to your FH about it? What does he think?

Oh my goodness I'd be upset too!!!!!!!!!! that stinks.....

however at least now you'll have people there that really want to be there and wont be sitting in the corner pouting.. that drives me INSANE

All but 1 didn't come to my shower either. To be honest, the shower was AMAZING, and I didn't notice who wasn't there until the next day in pictures. I'm like you. Always attended whatever they hosted, and whenever I couldn't, I would STILL send a gift. They didn't in this case. Whatever, now I know for the future to hold back in my generosity. That's all.

I learned it's not a reflection on you. It's a reflection on how THEY regard the relationship. You will still be surrounded by people who WANT to be there and are excited for you.

Thank you, OTW.

Yes I'm 100% sure ~ I mentioned something to my MOH this morning & she confirmed that all 6 sent in declines with no explanation. She felt horrible telling me cause she couldn't understand it herself. I've been playing it over in my mind, all 6 live in the same town, I am 1.5 hrs away from them. So I had originally thought they would all car pool (no biggie right?)

I just don't get it. ~ My bachelorette party list is being revised today lol

Man, I would be hurt too! Especially when I made efforts to attend their events!

It sucks that they didn't at least call you or send you a message letting you know why they can't attend. I hope you do revise your bachelorette party list :-)

Maybe since they are all wives of a group of friends they are planning a 2nd shower? There could be a silver lining,.. just a thought?

It seems odd that all of them are not coming. I wonder if they're planning something special.