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AlmostMrsG
Beginner May 2017

A and B guest lists for destination wedding

AlmostMrsG, on September 29, 2016 at 2:15 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 43

So I haven't seen anything recent on this topic but I'm having a destination wedding and my venue can only hold 82 people...i have 95 guests that i would love to invite. The few posts I've seen mention it's not rude to have two lists if they don't know. The big wild card is my family coming from out of the country... the bridal party alone is big so they WILL come. Is it ok to send saves the dates to only the A, and then invite the B if i find out from the A they can't make it? It would seem to me that being destination, they would know pretty early if they can come or not as hotels are pricey and i'm asking them to reserve on the block early to get the deal. Has anyone else done this? thoughts or advice?

43 Comments

Latest activity by Mandi, on September 29, 2016 at 8:44 PM
  • FishingBride
    Super February 2017
    FishingBride ·
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    B lists are looked down upon by WW forum and most people.

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  • Mrs. CK
    VIP November 2015
    Mrs. CK ·
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    Invite 82 people.

    B lists are rude and they will find out. I was B listed, figured it out when my uncle got an STD and we didnt, and he got his invitation a month before us. We live together.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    No. If your venue can only hold 82 people, then you only invite 82 people.

    B listing is incredibly rude - no matter the circumstances.

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  • SleepytheDwarf
    Master June 2017
    SleepytheDwarf ·
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    Nope nope nope nope nope.

    Do NOT B-list.

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  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
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    Nopity nope.. The PP hit the nail on the head.

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  • V
    Just Said Yes July 2017
    Violet ·
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    Let them know it's limited seating and maybe do first to RSVP

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  • brieliz
    VIP January 2017
    brieliz ·
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    If you can only host 82 you just invite 82.

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  • RealLindseyO
    Master October 2017
    RealLindseyO ·
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    Nope don't B list.

    And I have no idea what the hell Violet is talking about but don't do that either.

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  • Chip
    Master March 2018
    Chip ·
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    I'm pretty sure no post on WW says its ever okay to B list people

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  • future_mrs_c2018
    Super October 2017
    future_mrs_c2018 ·
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    No A/B lists or tiered receptions...I about screamed when FH suggested this

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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
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    How much of a destination is your wedding? Plane flight? In a different country?

    50% of my guest list has to fly at least 1 hour and rent a car to come to my wedding, so there's definitely travel involved - but I literally only heard from 3 guests that they couldn't come after the save the dates. Those 3 people knew they already had another wedding that weekend and let me know which is really nice! The rest of our nos didn't come in until after invites were sent

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  • Jacky
    Master June 2017
    Jacky ·
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    No, A and B lists are rude. Clearly, B listers are not important enough to be at your wedding. Either find a bigger venue, or cut your guest list to 82 total. Also, I didn't know for sure if id be able to go to my best friends DW until 2 months before, so people don't always know early on.

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  • E&M
    VIP September 2017
    E&M ·
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    Violet, I think that's a terrible idea. Family and friends shouldn't have to compete to RSVP first to be able to attend a wedding they're invited to! Unless I am misunderstanding you?

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  • Mrs. Sasswood
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Sasswood ·
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    Rude. If people don't make the guest list the first time, they're not "have to have there" people.

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  • Brooke
    Super January 2018
    Brooke ·
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    Do not b-list people. That is incredibly rude

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  • MNA
    Master April 2018
    MNA ·
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    I didn't think you could get more rude than an A/B list as far as inviting people was concerned, and then @Violet came along and showed me that it was, indeed, possible.

    Don't do either of these things. Guests WILL find out, and they'll be horribly offended.

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  • Van Pear
    VIP January 2017
    Van Pear ·
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    Lol, if my e-party was first to RSVP, the VIPs wouldn't be able to come. People procrastinate.

    It's only 13 people less than your intended invite list. I think you can find a way to cut 13 people.

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  • Katherine
    VIP June 2017
    Katherine ·
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    First come, first served? I'm sorry @Violet, but are you joking? Your wedding is not an exclusive club that only the early birds get into. Gross.

    Sorry OP, I think you'll have to cut your guest list. Don't over invite expecting declines. That never works out well.

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  • AlmostMrsG
    Beginner May 2017
    AlmostMrsG ·
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    The wedding is 100% destination in the keys...all guests coming from Texas, Colorado, Oklahoma and out of country... i selected venue because it was the perfect venue for a wedding with the beach view but not outdoors and at the time I figured my family from out of country wouldn't come, exept now it seems they are making a vacation out of it...

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  • #ItsBeardTime
    VIP March 2017
    #ItsBeardTime ·
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    Do not B list it's incredibly rude. That being said you don't have to send a std to all guests. Usually they are only sent to the guests you would be bummed couldn't make it.

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