6 months out, too late for an engagement party?

We didn't have a formal engagement party honestly and we didn't miss it. My FH proposed in front of both of our families at a Christmas party so I felt like there was no need. Also a friend of mine invited us over for dinner and basically surrounded us with other married couples from newlyweds to couples married for 30+ years giving us great advice. My mom threw my bridal shower and my bridal party got together and did the bachelorette party for me. I never asked anyone to do anything nor expected it at all.

You should also throw an after-wedding party. Just in case anyone forgets you got married. Ya know, just to remind them.

You know, there's a lot of people who can't afford to have a wedding, much less an engagement party too.

If you keep comparing yourself to everyone who has "more" than you it will never end. This is not the hill to die on. Just move on.

@Shaybird I love that scene but you left out the best part.

LOL - Melissa - my head hurts today. It REALLY hurts. I think that's me in O&S' meme with the brick wall.

Ashleigh - if you want to do whatever you want - why are you asking?

You want people to tell you what they think - it is rude to ask anyone to throw you a shower. If that works in your family FINE, but it is not okay. Also it is rude to throw yourself a shower - even if other people want to be rude and do it also.

That is the truth.

Also - I am not a fucking girl, I am a grown ass women who put on my big girl panties and realizes - you don't always get what you want. Maybe when you and your "boy" become adults you will fucking realize that you don't get to control peoples level of excitement for you - maybe they fucking like his twin more than they like him - maybe they don't like you. MAYBE a million things but guess what, life is not equal its not fair and its not supposed to be.

I'm so glad you can feel proud of yourself exclaiming your womanhood on a wedding wire app. So sorry for offending anyone by using the word girl..... I assumed you guys would know I simply meant females... but it looks like that didn't happen. I'm also terribly sorry I used the relaxed term to call my FH boy. He's a man, I'm a woman I guess now that I've officially told you all over the Internet that it means it's official.... because that's what I got out of you guys saying it..... oops I mean you women saying it. Don't want another freak out over the wrong pronoun.

There is no etiquette approved way to throw your own shower or to ask someone to throw a party for you. That's the answer to your etiquette question.

The advice you say you give, OP, about doing what your want because it's your wedding? That's not great advice. Your wedding ceases to be all about you when you involve other people. Then you have to consider their needs.

Ashleigh, FWIW, many women take offence to the diminutive term "girl" to refer to anyone over the age of 12. Me included. This may be brand new information to you.

Ashleigh - and we're so glad you're over here whining about what someone else is getting that you're not.

Just know this: WW never forgets.

If she's old enough to get married, she knows that using the term "girl" will be taken as disrespect. But then again, she thought that there was no difference between an engagement party and a wedding shower (nor did she know that a shower is a designated gift-giving event). I guess I can't tell if she's just back pedaling now that @Erin called her out or if she's just socially inept.

...

O&S, and yet I feel compelled to try. Futility at its best.

Didn't read anything.

Don't throw yourself a party, and yes, it's far too late.

Engagement parties usually happen immediately following the engagement. But any event outside of the wedding is extra. It's awesome your lady friends are throwing you a bridal shower. This is their way of celebrating you, don't demean their efforts by asking for another party out of vanity.

Yes, its too late. E-parties should be within 3 months of getting engaged.

An engagement party is not another phrase for a wedding shower. They are two distinct events, thrown by two different parties, at two different times, and once the engagement ship has disappeared over the horizon (and in your case, it has), it's not coming back.

Should you plan a shower for yourselves? No. Never. If a couple is fortunate enough to have a group of honor attendants who are willing to plan and fund these pre-wedding gift-giving parties, that's fantastic. However, pre-wedding parties are hardly mandatory. Nobody deserves them just because they're getting married. You'll get gifts at your wedding. Rest in that.

You say you aren't crying about this, but you did go into quite a bit of detail about a sibling who had four different showers while you were pregnant. Then, you say that while all of those showers were going on, nobody "gave a crap" about your pregnancy. Come, come...really? The birth of a precious baby was met with "We don't give a crap"? Doubtful. As a grandmother, I'd be all over that baby (in fact, my grandson, now six years old, has been the recipient of a steady stream of grandparent gifts, and that's the way it will always be). The addition of babies to a family -- especially by grandparents -- is huge. Typically, the birth of a child trumps a wedding. But, seriously? Nobody gave you a single gift when that child was born? I find that very difficult to believe. Did you get your big party on a certain Saturday between 2:00 PM and 6:00 PM? Maybe not, but that doesn't mean nobody gave a crap.

You came right out and said that now that you are "finally" getting married -- four years after the birth of your child -- and you are expecting the same attention your FH's siblings and cousins received prior to their wedding. I honestly applaud you for your honesty in admitting that. So many brides skate around the attention issue, and inevitably, they deny that this is the issue that's got them majorly pissed off. You admitted it. Word to the wise -- expect nothing. You have no idea what makes people tick, and most of the time, you'd rather not know. These people will come to your wedding and they will do the right thing. You will be in the limelight for hours, looking radiant, queen for a day, and you'll take home a lovely pile of cash, gift cards, and gifts. Focus on that.

No the baby was not given gifts until his brothers birthday a few months later from grandparents and such who give gifts to the grandkids when they see them. I had him the day of their wedding. And by no means has the birth of any child in this family trumped any occasion for anyone other than the parents of said child. I guess he does expect the same attention as his siblings and cousins as one of his cousins are in the same situation as us, baby before marriage and all and yes, were given a separate house warming shower, baby shower and engagement party within a year. I do not feel entitled to the engagement party that everyone seems to be stuck on and yeah... I didn't know there was a difference between a wedding shower and bridal shower. I have fairly recently gotten involved with the whole ... wedding planning and etiquette and have been to showers but never really knew the difference, just showed up.

Stick around, I'm sure you'll have other questions. The men and women here can be really helpful.