6 months out, too late for an engagement party?

Yeah I didn't think throwing anything ourselves was really a good idea. The whole memorial day bbq idea sounded good but that's super last minute for FH's huge family and the following weekend we are throwing his twin brother and wife a baby shower for their twin girls to be! Yay! Yeah I think we'll end up having some get together in the future when FH'S twin has HIS twins because apparently there's going to be a big gathering to meet then and all the other new additions on his side. (There's like 6 new babies from his side expected this year!)

You definitely shouldn't throw your own engagement party or shower, and you should wait until someone offers. Showers are typically thrown 1-3 months before the wedding, anyway. It's possible a family member or friend will decide to offer to throw one closer to that time frame. Calm down and accept that it will be okay, whether a shower happens or not. Not having a shower won't make you any less married on your wedding day.

Wow, everyone is so rude.. But to answer your question, I personally wouldn't ask. I would just throw one yourself. It doesn't have to be big and fancy, but just a small get together with your closest friends and family or whoever you want there. We are throwing our own next month, but it's also a merge between celebrating our engagement and celebrating the adoption of my fiance adopting my daughter. You can also mention no gifts, that's what we are doing. If they bring'em, they bring'em, but at least that way others won't see it as "gift grabby" as someone else put it. It's okay to have a celebration late in the game. Honestly, who cares what anyone else thinks.

4th of july party?

Hillary- OP could handle the responses, maybe you shouldn't be o the internet if its too much for you.

"Who cares what anyone thinks"

OP does that is why she is literally asking for our opinions.

There's always one...

@Hillary - we aren't being rude ... she asked our opinion, she didn't like our opinions, so now she is basically saying "I'm going to do what I want" and trying to convince us to change our minds.

You said "who cares what anyone else thinks". Well, she did ask us what WE think ... so yeah ...

OP you literally asked if its okay to ask for a shower or throw one on your own. A shower, by definition, is a gift giving event. You sound bitter that other people are getting gifts and attention and you're not.

"FH's family is the type of "if you want something you need to ask for it" family. "

- maybe they meant if you need money because your lights are about to be cut off or you you are deathly ill and need someone to pick up your meds.

"Everyone else who's been thrown an engagement party or wedding shower asked for it because they knew if they hadn't then nothing would happen. "

- So if they asked them to buy them a house or a BMW convertible does that mean you should be able to ask for it too? IT DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY. It was tacky of them to ask, doesn't mean you should follow suit.

"FSIL asked a few months back if we wanted a party and I said that would be wonderful, but she asked for my mom to buy favors and decorations etc. and my mom couldn't afford it financially or time wise and I asked why an engagement party had to be fancy and expensive and she said she wouldn't do it any other way.... she got busy with work and never brought it up again so I've stayed quiet as to not seem greedy."

- Good. That's one thing you got right - keeping your mouth shut. If your FSIL didn't want to throw an e-party and had the "it's my way or the highway" attitude and didn't want to do it unless your mother contributed, then oh well. It's unfortunate your FSIL didn't take your mother's financial situation into consideration and has chosen not to do anything at all. Doesn't mean you "deserve" a party.

" I just don't know if we can have some sort of gathering like everyone else did."

- I swear, if I had a nickel for every time a bride comes on here talking 'bout "but so and so got this and so and so got that" I'd be RICH BIOTCH (quoting from Dave Chapelle - don't flag me). You don't get "what everyone else did". That's life! You ARE getting a gathering - AT YOUR WEDDING.

"We feel a bit left out but it's not like we're crying about it lol"

- you're right - you're not crying about it. You're whining about it.

I'm amazed at how rude grown woman can be. My goodness. There is definitely a nice way to go about saying things, whether or not it's to agree or disagree.

You seem to be acting very immature Hillary. In the real world people disagree. Life isn't all rainbows and butterflies.

@Hilary - we don't serve things here on a god damn silver platter around here. You're free to exit the premises and we're free to post.

It's tacky to throw one yourself. IDGAF how you want to disguise that shit. Part getting out of the hospital, part e-party. Part I got a new job, part e-party. Part graduating from college, part e-party.

No matter how you disguise that shit, it's still tacky that you're hosting your own party. Small/large, bbq, buffet or a plated dinner - you don't throw yourself any pre-wedding festivity parties.

Awww you want nice? Throw a party and invite a bunch of infants. That way you can just talk to yourself the whole time and say allllllll the nice things you want to hear.

Well Hillary is right people are being rude. Most of the comments I leave on other people's posts are "Do whatever you want it's your wedding and no one else's " and then give my personal thought or advice. And I'm not like.... pining for a party or whining about not having one. In fact FH is the one taking this hard. Nobody gave 2 shits when we were pregnant because they were focused on his twin getting married and he felt like no one cared about the new addition we were excited about. Everyone told him to get over himself that he'd get all this attention when he got married. Now he is and everyone is focused on his twin having twins! I could care less if we have parties or if anyone even showed up for our wedding. I just want to marry the boy! But I know it's something important to him so I'm trying to amicably find a way to make my FH happy. If we don't get jack shit besides the wedding who really cares? We won't cry, we're adults. But Hillary I don't know what we expected this is a website full of GIRLS! Ha, there's going to be cattiness. Thanks everyone for your input though, I definitely won't be bringing up anything party wise to anyone.

^ugh - eye roll.

Then you do you Ashleigh. Ignore everyone's advice and be tacky as fuck throwing yourself a party 6 months before you throw yourself another party.

We're the girls? But you're on here bitching about not getting a party. Grow the fuck up. You don't even sound prepared to get married.

Also, around here we marry MEN, not boys.

Sounds like you need to read the definition of whining (because that's what you're doing) and sounds like FH needs to grow up.

I'm not .... going to.. dear God. I don't sound prepared to get married? Real class right there. Thank you gym rat for slicing and over analyzing literally everything I said.

Girl, do it....plan your party....and by all means self-cater as well...don't listen to these crazies!! LOL