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Jillian
Master June 2019

$30 wedding gift....

Jillian, on June 1, 2017 at 7:30 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 48

Some may remember I was B-listed for a coworkers wedding. I honestly don't mind, I was surprised I was invited at all, we don't really talk&I'm her superior. Not the point of the story but I wanted to give background. We will call her coworker A. Another coworker (&friend of mine before she applied...

Some may remember I was B-listed for a coworkers wedding. I honestly don't mind, I was surprised I was invited at all, we don't really talk&I'm her superior. Not the point of the story but I wanted to give background. We will call her coworker A.

Another coworker (&friend of mine before she applied at my job unbeknownst to me) was invited to the wedding the first time around. She will also be invited to my wedding, she's coworker B. Coworker A getting married is not going to be invited to mine.

While casually talking to B about something to wear to A's wedding, she says I'm buying a dress so $30 oughta do it in the card. I'm like, "as a wedding gift? Wow I better drastically cut my gift then" and she says yeah you might want to because I'm not raising mine.

Wtf?! I didn't even tell her the amount I was giving but fh&I were both invited&never give less than $150 as a couple. I was so appalled by $30?! I also know B is bringing her bf!

This is a second marriage, does amount matter?

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48 Comments

  • Future Mrs. Mash
    VIP September 2017
    Future Mrs. Mash ·
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    Is it your wedding money she's giving $30 towards? No? Then it doesn't matter. Is it your bank account where the $30 is coming from? No? Then, also, it doesn't matter. Mind your own damn business. What you can afford and what someone else can afford aren't always the same. That doesn't make them any less of a person, & by no means are they breaking any etiquette rules or committing any crimes. If you're hosting a wedding with hopes that every person coming is going to be giving you $150 in cash, not only are you hosting for the wrong reasons, but you will be sadly disappointed. That's all.

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  • Lisa
    Super May 2018
    Lisa ·
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    Wedding etiquette??? I think that's bull. Not everyone can afford $100 or $200 gifts at a wedding. I know I couldn't! So it's the thought that counts. I mean she could show up with nothing

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  • Beecham2Barrows
    VIP December 2020
    Beecham2Barrows ·
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    If it makes you feel any better... I sent my FH in to get our friends a $50 gift card for their wedding and he came out with a 10 and 2 5's, put them in the card and sealed it up. I was so embarrassed... But I'm sure some people didn't bring anything so it is what it is.

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  • R&B2016
    VIP October 2016
    R&B2016 ·
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    I mean to me $30 is low, but it might not be the same for everybody. We don't know our friends/coworkers financial situation. I typically give $100-200 depending on my relationship to the couple/other expenses incurred (like travel, hotels, etc.).

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  • Veep
    VIP May 2017
    Veep ·
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    I agree the amount people give should be of no concern to you.

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  • Portlandia13
    Super April 2017
    Portlandia13 ·
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    I've never spent more than $50 on a wedding gift, because honestly I've just never been able to afford it. I usually buy off the registry instead of giving cash though. I really hope the couples I've bought for aren't as ungrateful and judgmental as you are.

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  • S&J
    Master August 2017
    S&J ·
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    I don't think it as much a regional thing, but social circle.

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  • Michelle
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    Michelle ·
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    @Jillian

    Honestly, I recently got married and received a $30 gift from a new friend. She used to work for a wedding company so she definitely knows wedding etiquette. It was a small wedding and I invited her friend as her plus one so she would feel more comfortable. The day before the wedding she informed me this person wasn't coming and asked to change the plus one to someone I didn't know. I have a feeling I was snubbed for saying no. Doesn't feel good to get $30 as a wedding gift, if that's all you can afford then maybe do something creative.

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